Terrible Company Ch. 12

The second mercenary stepped back with his hands held up, but the first one continued on undaunted.

"Sir, have you ever been with a dwarf before?"

"No," the lead mercenary snarled, and the other two began to laugh knowingly.

"Sir," the second one said, "You are in for a treat."

"Just look at those braids!"

"It sounds like you have a bit of a discipline problem," the big Orc said. "Have you ever thought about leaving these guys behind and joining us?"

"Hey!" the first and second mercenaries said at the same time.

Mathilda lowered her arms and cupped her breasts, running the pads of her thumbs over the tips of her nipples, and blew a kiss to the first one. Katsa and two of the other mercenaries, who had thus far remained silent, turned and stared into the forest. The lead mercenary, meanwhile, quickly rifled through everyone's gear. He threw some of Mathilda liquors onto the ground, breaking several bottles, but that didn't stop the little Dwarf from putting on her little show. He started to throw something from Katsa's pack, but thought better of it once the vial started glowing in his hand.

Finally he got to Ivy's bag and pulled out her little stuffed bear. The Bard's eyes went wide as he held it up in the air by its ear and plunged his dagger into its neck. The fabric tore in fits and spurts, with bits of fluff and stuffing pouring out as the hole became larger. When the body finally fell away and bounced off the ground, Ivy had to covered her mouth with both hands to stifle the sobs.

"How long are we gonna do this?" the lead mercenary asked acidly. "Huh?! Where is he?"

"I'm tellin' you," Val said. "He ain't coming back!"

"Not buying it."

"Guys," Katsa said, shifting her weight.

"I win!" Ivy wept, throwing her arms into the air despite the tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Guys!"

One of the mercenaries moved closer to the edge of the campsite and exclaimed "MANTICORE!"

The beast, as tall as any of the men in their camp, with the head and body of a lion, the wings of a bat, and the tail of a scorpion, leapt through the underbrush. It was on the lead mercenary instantly, claws raking deeply down his chest, and that was the last thing that any of them noticed. All of the members of Terrible Company were on their feet and following Val within a heartbeat.

"—stop, for any reason! Don't even—

"—coulda a' leas' le' us pu' on a bra! Mah poor—"

"—weird to see a Manticore so far north! They—"

"—can't believe you drew them creeping up—"

"—especially so late in the year! They usually migrate—"

"—don't stop running! As long as we—"

"—by sound and smell for up to four miles? Isn't that neat?!"

***

The light of the early dawn was just creeping through the canopy by the time Val, Katsa, Mathilda, and Ivy crept back to their campsite. Ayen had cleared the bodies and at least kicked some dirt over the viscera and other bits he wasn't prepared to touch with his hands. He'd even started to dig a few graves for their attackers, though he gave up from exhaustion and blisters long before any of them were deep enough to be useful.

Ivy insisted on a viking funeral for her stuffed bear, whom the rest of Terrible Company found out had been unsurprisingly named Bear. However, none of them had any real talent with, nor owned, a bow. Instead, Katsa left a small, swirling red vial on the makeshift raft of sticks, and ignited it with a snap of her fingers. Ivy's tear-filled, elegiac rendition of My Heart Will Go On was cut short in the second chorus when the raft drifted beneath some low-hanging, leaf-less branches and the fire began to spread.

***

"No," Ayen said, shaking his head.

Val sighed and shook her head. "Then the only people who knew we were out here were the two clerks in town who sent us out here in the first place."

"Can' go back then."

"What if I wore a disguise?" Ivy asked. "Maybe if I wore one of my other hats and tried to collect the bounty for the Bigfoot?"

"No lass," The Dwarf said miserably.

"What about... my..." The bard grunted as she bent over and rummaged through her pack.

"Doesn' ma'er, lass. No amount of ha' is gonna hide yer tits."

Ivy sat back up with a shrug and pulled out her yellow pad.

"Another job we're not going to get paid for," the Thief moaned.

"Need... disguise... for... tits..."

"We've go' supplies for weeks," Mathilda said, perking up a little. "More if we can supplement with a bit 'o hunting."

"Any ideas?" Val asked.

"What if I painted them to look like some kind of melon, so I would look like someone small breasted who was trying to appear busty?"

The big Orc blinked. "Anyone else?"

"Ah, for one, thin' i's abou' time we got some answers abou' why these people want ye dead."

Ayen slumped and shook his head. "They don't want me dead. They want me alive. I'm worth nothing dead."

"Why no'?"

"Because I'm the King," he said reluctantly, extending his arms and open hands as if to present himself.

"Ya," Mathilda barked, quickly working toward a wheezing laughter. "Ok."

"My father was King Gustav of Winternia."

Val and Ivy looked at each other while they processed, but the Dwarf continued to laugh more and more uproariously. "Isn't Gustav dead?"

"Yeah," Ayen said, swallowing. "And the... um... the... Queen... needs me to legitimize her reign."

"An' 'e's married!" the Healer squealed, rolling backwards off the log she'd been using as a seat and kicking her legs in the air. The Thief shook his head and took another long swig from the bottle in his hand.

Ivy flipped through her yellow book for a moment. "To Queen Lisbeth?"

Ayen nodded solemnly, the set of his brow clearly broadcasting his preference that that be the last question he answer for a little while. Mathilda continued to cackle to herself, clutching at her sides as she lay on the dirt, and only stopped when Katsa stomped into the campsite and threw the manuscript at Ivy screaming, "MY HAIR IS NOT POINTY!"

//Follow-up Note: Votes and comments are dearly appreciated. The next couple chapters will be found in other categories (Incest, Erotic Coupling), and this marks the last installment of Terrible Company that will grace the NonHuman category. If you found the storytelling to be interesting or funny, I would encourage you to check out the rest!

This is a completed series. There are fifteen total chapters with a satisfying conclusions (I think) to the individual plot threads for each character. You don't have to worry about getting to the end and finding out I gave up or lost interest because it's totally done! Isn't that awesome of me to finish something I started?//