Tessa Tinderbox 01

Tessa Tinderbox 01

Hello, I currently identify as Tessa Tinderbox and I wanted to share a few of my experiences here today. I'm not claiming to be all that and a remote control, but I work hard to highlight what I have to work with and I'm not as shy as I originally thought I was. I seem to like Brazilian style undies that ride high on the hips and I think my best features are the transition points between my thighs and the bottom of my rib cage from a side view. Selfies from the side are my favorite pose and I always twist just enough to keep my front from being the focal point (nothing to see anyways, so stop asking on Chang).

I'm going to tell you about my three jobs at a later time, but today I'm starting out with my friend, Rusty, and how I helped him out. Somewhere along the line I'm going to get around to my other friend, Cade, but that's going to have to wait until I find a word or a phrase that describes disgusting, exciting, WTF, who, me and why me all at the same time.

So, Rusty and I have been going to movies whenever Hollywood releases a block buster for years. It's just a normal thing that we do. Last Summer, there was a new Bond, James Bond movie coming out so we made our usual plans to go see it. Just like any other movie at any other time.

But Rusty threw in a twist and said that I could dress as Tessa as long as I had another hair color to wear because he might freak out if he had to look at my natural hair all night long because it would remind him of who he was with. And that was fine. And the truth is that I had been begging him for months to let me dress for him and if a short blended blonde bob cut was what it took, then that was fine with me. Mostly because I already had that hair style in my bedroom, but he didn't need to know that just yet. And just like that, we had a date.

And then I apologized to him for using the word 'date" because this was about letting Tessa Tinderbox get out in public and had nothing to do with a romantic situation. And then I said that he had to get over it because CD's and Tranny's love using the word "date" and he needed to settle up with it.

I even dressed very "date casual" for him. Simple Denim shorts with distressed tights, a cute little T-shirt, my normal facial make up and the hair of his choice. I even wore my deck shoe flats to make sure he towered over me because that is some kind of guy thing and I wanted Rusty to be as comfortable as possible.

The hard part was greeting him at the door. I forgot to practice a smile that said welcome "date", but didn't say "you're dating a friend Rusty" or something weird like that. And then I remember that I've never practiced smiling at all and opened the door.

"Hello Rusty, right on time. This would be where you smile at me or turn around and leave to avoid future regrets."

"I'm not running, but I am glad that you look better than I thought you would. I guess that maybe I wasn't giving you much credit in my day dreams."

"Oh, I'll take that as a compliment, I think. Did you want to have a beer first so you can ask me a bunch of embarrassing questions or should we go?"

"No time for a beer, so let's go. And I may have over reacted about how you use the word "date" and I just want you to know that as long as you keep my name out of it, you can call this a "date" as much as you want. I mean, I found your Chang homepage and you mentioned the word "date" about 1,000 times and as long as you keep my name out of it, then I happy to be a part of your first "date", so can I please stop putting the word "date" in quotation marks now?"

"Oh, I see, in other words you already had two beers before you came over. And don't worry about our "date", I mean our date. There will be no good night kiss between us tonight. Besides, you need a date with someone who wears panties just the same as I need practice at being a date. Well, I mean a "date", but from someone from my third job, who will ask me out sooner or later and I need to know how to act just as you need to know that it's not polite to wonder what color my fem undies are tonight. Oh, and just like there will be no good night kiss tonight, there will be none of that other stuff either. But they might be close match to my lip gloss, by the way. Eyes front and drive, dear old friend."

"LOL, some things never change. You talk too much, boy or girl, LOL. Anything else?"

"Yeah, I role a girl from time to time, so keep that straight in your mind. And if your dirty mind is still thinking about my dark red undies, I wear a fem sports bra, not a regular bra. It still has extra material built in to it, but I stretch it out enough to sort of smooth it out. Now, back at you, anything else?"

"Um, is it a half "date" and a half date if I'm out with a role player? Just wondering, but I'm in total agreement that you keep your lips to yourself!"

"LOL, I promise, which brings me to another subject. In about 3 weeks I may or may not need you to help me with some club cred. I may or may not need one of those air kisses on the cheek. I may or may turn to you for that help. Just an air kiss and nothing more. Practice with your sister or something."

"Huh, that sounds like the beginning steps of turning gay, so sure, why not. Besides, it makes perfect sense now because Maggie has always told me that I'm gay to hang out with you and she also said that she had you figured out two years."

"Well, let's just finish up with the dearest Maggie, so go on."

"Um, she said you probably wear the wrong shade of lip gloss all the time and she may or may not have been to bet a hundo that the over the shoulder selfie in those champagne color panties with the side straps that rode way up over your hips and your hair was so straight and it looked so much longer and your position on the bed was perfect and well, she's willing to bet that there was a little photo shopping going on back there. Oh, all her words, not mine, I was, ah, I was building a model car and sniffing glue while she "borrowed" my tablet."

"LOL, that is all me, just don't let her know that it took me three hours and countless photos to get the angle and floor mirror just perfect. By the way, we don't need to talk about it, but if she gently patted your shoulder as she left your bedroom and closed the door, then that was permission, you know that, right? I'm willing to bet a hundo that Maggie did that and I'm willing to bet that you, um, took your tablet back and stopped sniffing that glue, right?"

"SHUT IT."

"You can smack it a little babe."

"Shut it and don't call me that. Whew, we're here. Where are we sitting tonight?"

"I'm going to follow my date, especially if my date leads me by using the back pockets in the ack of my jean shorts. I'm also going to get extra napkins from the concession stand because my date is starting to sweat because my date is thinking about how hard he spanked me once Maggie left the room, LOL. But on a serious note, don't get excited when you notice me looking around in theater lobby. I need to get a feel for what people are thinking of me and I need to check out they are looking at me. Oh, and by the way babe, no empty seat between us tonight, right?"

"Whatever it takes to shut you up. Ah, is it the same if I just hook a finger in your back pocket?"

"Sure babe."

Making our way through the movie theater lobby was challenging to my nerves, but I made it through it all. I expected some funny looks and I got a few. I expected a few winks and I got one. I expected popcorn butter on my deck shoes and I made it clean through that too. To me, my first full fledged outing as Tessa Tinderbox went well enough that if I get asked out later in the month from Club Dark Star, I'd be ready. And with a few weeks more to practice, I wasn't going to disappoint.

And as fake dates, we didn't disappoint each other that night. Rusty extended his hand to imply where I should sit and there was to be no empty seat between us. And I played my part, or should say role played my part by not leaning against him, for the most part. I mean, they were movie theater seats, right? So, maybe I lean against his shoulder, but just a little. And way back, deep in my mind, I was laughing my ass off because Rusty was nervous as hell and I'm willing to bet that he didn't even know what movie was playing in front of his eyes!

"Babe?"

"Don't call me that. What?"

"I'm going to the restroom. Did you want to practice your air kiss as I get up, babe?"

"Fine, go, no and don't call me that."

"Take it easy babe, I'm just trying to be a good date for you. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow babe."

"Ugh, I know, you are a good date and don't call me that."

Hah, his frustration won out and he leaned over and planted one square on my cheek, no air, no messing around, just a direct hit or smack should I say. Almost deserving of a well-placed hand on his side of the arm rest as I got up. And by the way, hah, he liked being called "babe" by his fake date.

But his boner was his problem because I had a problem of my own. Which restroom do I use? There was a good chance that the cops could be called if I entered the Lady's room and got caught. There was also a good chance that I could get punched out if I used the Men's Room and Rusty was the last person who could rescue me without ending up worse than me. But the risk of being confronted seemed better than the risk of going to jail for hanging out in the Lady's room.

So, that was it, my mind was made up and because I had been standing in the hallway thinking about for several minutes, I figured the room was empty and I barged in.

I stood there for a second and looked around and found the room to be empty. I approached the wall of fixtures, stopped, made a quick left turn and hid out in the first stall and locked the door. I stood still to get my breathing under control and then took care of my business.

Unfortunately, before I could zip up and smooth out my front area and my tights, which I spent too much smoothing out, I heard someone enter the restroom. I remained calm, I stood still and I listened so I knew what he was doing and where he was. Luckily for me, I soon heard the sound of the faucet running. Unluckily for me, I decided to peek through the crack in the door and basically made eye contact with him as he was looking at me through the mirror on the wall. Damn! Kind of busted.

"It's alright, some people just can't go with an audience and that's nothing to be ashamed of. However, based on I can see under the stall door, I don't think those fancy nylons with the holes in them belong in this restroom. I mean, I'm in the correct restroom, right sweetie?"

"Don't call me that, sir. I had an emergency, that's all. Now, I didn't bother you, so I would appreciate you not bothering me, sir."

"Emergency? Is that what you kids call it these days. Are you looking to suck some dick? I mean, I'm looking to get mine sucked, so everyone's happy, right sweetie?"

"I assure you that is not the case and I guarantee you that is not going to happen and I promise you that no one is leaving this restroom all happy and stuff, sir."

"Oh, "and stuff", huh? I like that sweetie. Why don't you open the door and give me a peek sweetie? I like that blonde hair."

Oh, holy old neighbor snap, it was Mr. Jenkins from my old neighborhood where I grew up! Oh yeah, I moved my eye sight in the door crack and planned my daring escape. The distance from the stall to the restroom door looked to be about 5 big running steps and he was off to the left a little, so I had an escape route, but I needed another distraction.

"You got a name sweetie?"

"Well, I identify as Tessa, Tessa Tinderbox. Now, would you mind putting your wrinkled cock away and leaving me alone? I mean, if you need an ego boost, well, it's all big and fat and stuff, now leave please."

"Ah, don't you no never mind about my wrinkles sweetie. They are like nature's natural ribs, you know, like those crazy condom's you kids use these days. Are you going to open this door before someone else comes in sweetie? My wallet is fatter than my rod."

"Stop calling me Sweetie, Mr. Jenkins. It's not what you think. I had an emergency and I'm asking you to leave me alone."

"Whoa, how do you know my name sweetie, I mean Tessa. Hey, have you sucked me off before and I was too drunk to remember your wonderful and wet mouth? I paid up, right?"

"Well, I remember you drinking a lot, but I promise you, we have never been together. I also remember having to wipe off your riding mower seat when I would come over and cut your grass a few years back. You used to jerk off on the seat that I sat on, didn't you Mr. Jenkins? Did you used to watch me clean the mower, Mr. Jenkins?"

"What? Wait, little Timmy Timmerman used to cut my grass. Is that you boy? You a sissy boy now? Let me see that. Open this door. It's hurting my eye to peep through this crack."

SMACK, BOOM.

"Sorry about the headache Mr. J."

I flung the stall door open and it smacked him in the head. It startled him and I made a mad dash for the door. He may have mistaken my arm motion as a wave good bye, but believe me, it was just the motion of running. And I kept running until I found our seats in theater 4.

"I'm back babe. I hoped you enjoyed the movie babe. Oh, and we're leaving right now babe and I mean move it, Rusty! The ski is falling."

"Huh, what? Bond, James Bond has only killed three villains and hooked up with six girls. Why are we leaving? Hey, isn't that your old neighbor?"

"Keep your voice down. It is Mr. Jenkins and he said that he wants to rub his anti-wrinkle cream all over my thunder thighs. Let's go!"

"Hey, you don't have thunder thighs. They're just right."

"I know baby, I just wanted to hear you say it, babe. I know you have peeked into my bedroom before, babe, but I don't care about that right now. Listen, Bond, James Bond wins and gets the girl, end of story. Move!"

Oh, I was no longer a good date! I was manhandling him like I worked on the corner of Elm & 7th and was taking special requests and he was letting me drag him out like he was making a special request on the corner of Elm & 7th.

It's fair to say that the date ended there, just as it's safe to say that Bond, James Bond had his fair share of gadgets. However, what wasn't fair to say were all those things that Maggie had to say about me, so she should be expecting to hear from me soon.

Oh, and before I close out this chapter. Listen, ugh, my other friend, Cade, well, that freaky SOB heard about how I dressed as Tessa when I went to the movies with Rusty and OMFG, OMG, that little MF asked me if I would be willing to role play for him too. Only, OMFG, he asked me if I would role play Tessa, the silicone doll and lay on my belly in his basement for 2 days! Needless to say, I have nothing further to say about Cade.

End Tessa Tinderbox 01