All Comments on 'That Is Not What I Expected Ch. 02'

Very good story, Brad! Thank You!

the first (and most important) rule of writing is: Show, don't tell.

how are we, the readers, supposed to feel here? how are we supposed to be interested in these characters or feel any connection to them at all? they have had next to no dialog or development or anything at all.

this reads like the overview of a maybe interesting story. not an actual interesting story.

2 stars. keep trying. you have potential.

Very nice ending.

I wanted to like this one but is lacking.