All Comments on 'That's What Friends Are For'

It must be british thing. When your spouse says to you " I dont ever want to have sex with you again".... and wont really talk about it.... what it mean....s or why..... and will not even agree in principle to seek help...

its time to walk ( or run actually0 out of the marriage

Writing was OK. But I don't see how this activity "saves" one's marriage. Making love with someone else usually detracts from one's marriage. Also, when a spouse knows, there will be jealousy (just as we saw in this story). There will always be the fear (danger?) that he/she might come to love the other, sexual partner, more. A relationship is reinforced by the physical pleasure associated with sexual congress -- just like Pavlov's giving food to dog(s) while ringing a bell, so the dog(s) would drool whenever the bell was rung. It's something that can't be helped. It might be better if the sex were with someone unknown, someone who no one would ever see again. If it's between two individuals who are already fairly close friends, well, it's anybody's guess what will "come" of it.

Jill is very selfish. She was a lover but now feels old and frumpy. Many people go through this and can be helped by counseling and other therapy. Jill, who is "oh so concerned" for her marriage doesn't even want to try. If her marriage was really important to her you wouldn't be able to keep her away from a counselor. Since she doesn't want to be bothered with sex anymore she decides to farm it out. Lucky she has a horny friend. It's like woman who want high power careers and farm child care out to nannys. Eventually the kids aren't really their's anymore. <br><br>

Sex is a very important part of a loving relationship. If two people get older and start slowing down together that's understandable and workable. But when one stops dead that's a big problem and it isn't fair to the one that still has the spark. If Jill had done everything she could to address her lack of libido, fine. But she just says, leave me alone. Fine, she can be alone. All alone. The story is far from over. Lovers share lots of loving intimacies beyond the sex. Pillow talk stories from work and about friends. Good feelings. Plans. Jill will get less and less. It wouldn't be surprising if she found out one day that the marriage wasn't really her's anymore.

There was nothing loving about what Jill and Paul did. It was shallow, deceptive and disrespectful to their spouses and their marriages. Almost as bad as cheating and IMO emotional/psychological abuse.

The more usual situation is one half of a marriage loses interest, while the other doesn't. At that point they can either just co-exist in relative happiness, have an affair, or separate. Big decisions that can get expensive and of course the sex drive diminishes in the other partner eventually in any case. This story is a bit far fetched, but not improbable. The risk to both "sexless" partners is the other two decide they are better suited to each other. Sex is a strong emotion, particularly in women, so they are playing with fire.

But it will be the start of the break down of two marriages. You just can not be truly intimate with changing the equilibrium.

I know because my wife has recently made her decission much to my dismay. Just because we are on Social Security doesn't mean there should be no more sex. But I don't think my wife would like me to find and another play partner. Good story.

If Jill was so worried about her marriage, maybe she should have gone to the gym with her friend and tried to get rid of her unwanted old body with a little work and sweat. All she is doing is driving her husband farther away than he already is. Paul hasn't even given a reason for not loving his wife physically and yet is giving her away. Maybe the two spouses should just grab the bags they told them to get and take a whole lot more things and disappear for a couple of weeks to let them really have some insight as to being alone and neglected.

And I have a wife that has the problem! She hasn't offered up a friend like Jill did, or at least not yet. She has hinted that I can look elswhere discretly, I haven't at this point.

Do you plan a second chapter that explains how this all worked out? I hope so.

Good story. Let us know if it's true!

So Iain was already having an affair that Jill doesn't know about. Doubt if she knew that she'd be so "helpful" setting up this sitaution with her friend Anne.

As for Paul he could have gotten help for his problem. For men they can take a pill to get some pep in their step. And usually they seek it out at the first sign of trouble. For women it's a whole other issue there is not magical blue pill for us.

They are playing with fire. Jill and Paul worrying pretty much shows that just like Iain and Anne's anticipation.

Your scenario is hitting a little to close to home. If my marital relationship ever reached this point, my fantasy would be that an "Anne" could be there for me.

But in reality, I must also agree with Bruce22 that if I ever did search out an alternative partnership for my physical needs, relieve, etc, that would destroy both my marriage and my wonderful wife. My wife is both my lover and my best friend. The two go hand-in-hand.

So I guess Ill continue to enjoy my private fantasies and read erotic stories on Lit; and Ill keep praying that this point in my life never arrives.

Thank you for sharing your stories. Please keep on writing.

So when one person doesn't want sex with thier partner the couple become swingers? yeah, great idea for braindead people.

I am a 44 year old woman here in the same situation of having a sexless spouse (he's only 46). We haven't had sex for years (about 12). The little blue pills just do not work as an essential element is missing: the desire. Tons of love and affection, best friends, laughter, no fighting. At least he went to the doctor at one time and did a whole blood work up to see if anything showed. Nothing did. It is extremely unfair and frustrating to live like this and have the one withholding the sex state that the one wanting and needing it can't go elsewhere for fulfillment. I had to convince myself that this 'condition' of his fell under the 'in sickness and in health' part of our vows. That thought process didn't get implemented until after two short-term affairs where the men sucked just as much as the efforts of my spouse. What are the odds that three men I chose could all give better talk than actual performance? So I read stories, write a little, fantasize, and buy (on his dime) toys.

For a very readable exposition of a near-impossible situation. I lived in a sexless relationship with a partner for ten years, though in her case that was completely understandable: she had MS, and I was transformed from lover to carer by it.

Ignore the simple-minded and self-appointed moral guardians who have no idea of the complexities life throws at us sometimes.

I look forward to the second chapter.

that there is a second chapter coming.

If it were my story, I might have the two lovers, released overnight from their marital bonds, not come home for a couple of days. just to let their spouses understand that in giving away the sexual part of their marriages, they might be giving away all of their marriages!

I guess it happens, though me and wifey been humping happily for 12 years.

Is there not a way for Lit. to check the age ID of commenters like Anonymous0? It's a little off putting knowing that there are children allowed to comment on here.

Though HarryinVa must surely by now have reached the age of consent(after all he's been making inane and drunken comments for years)it must possible for him to mature mentally...just a little, Harry, no?

....know each other well enough to be married. And that most couples are not pro-active. This is not a minor dislocation in the equilibrium of the relationship. This is the Grand Canyon.

Very rare here and in real life as well.

Really a very silly story.