The 70 Show

She tried to push his head towards her groin and he resisted, continuing to embrace her. Shit! Loser! She grabbed his cock figuring this was the only way she might get any satisfaction and started stroking for all she was worth. It crept back to life and he almost immediately pulled his fingers out, climbed on top, and started to push his cock inside her.

She reached down and spread her lips, grabbed his cock and tried to ease him in, but he pushed and buried himself. Thank goodness he's not too big.

He started pumping hard and fast. Banging his pelvis to hers going as deep as he could then back out. Faster and faster. Almost frantic. He stiffened and came again. She was just starting to feel something building on the horizon, but he was done.

He immediately rolled off and looked like he fell asleep. She got up and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Well, that really sucked. How can Linda stand it? She must really love him.

And look at this crap. It's just past 12:30. Shit. Theo would still be buried up to his eyeballs in my puss and nowhere near ready to put that old porker of his in there. What do I do now? Guess I hang around and see if there is a round two.

"Emma? Oh my God, you were fabulous. I hope I wasn't too much for you."

"You were great too, Steve. What now?"

"Well, let's do it all again. Can you help make him big again and then maybe we can do it from behind, OK?"

"The is the Stevie show so whatever you want is fine."

By two she was on her way home. Steve was asleep. Worthless. Theo won't have to worry about me doing him twice. I'll just shower at home and have awful images of Theo with Lydia until he gets home. Oh, what the fuck have I done?

Meanwhile, at 12:30, Theo was walking out the door to head to Lydia's. As always, he liked to be a little early rather than right on time. His phone rang. It was Linda. "Linda, how are you doing?"

"Theo, I want to have sex with you. Today!"

"Well, Linda, I'm sorry, but my agreement with Emma was that the spouse would call to make sure we weren't going to cause any, uh, misunderstandings within a family."

"Theo. That lowlife is fucking your wife. He sucks in bed and she'll probably be on her way home by 1:30 or two. He threatened violence if I did not agree to let him have sex with her. You know, he propositioned her at church, right?"

"Yes, I know. I saw him."

"He's lusted after her a long time and this was like a kid in a candy store. A dream come true. I asked him to call you and he wouldn't do it. He said I would be a slut if I had sex with you and he would not tolerate it.

"Well, fuck him! He's been cheating on me for years. But I stayed with him because of the kids and then it was out of habit. I was stuck, scared to leave, but now... This is the final straw. He's in my house. In my bed, fucking my friend and I'll be expected to put new sheets on the bed and see the aftermath.

"Please, Theo. I just need to know that all men aren't like he is. I've already seen a lawyer and started the paperwork so it's not like you'll be breaking up a happy home. Please, Theo! I don't know who else to turn to."

"Unfortunately, I'm on my way to Lydia's. Don't know how long I'll be there. Tomorrow is Friday, so what if we go out to get something to eat. Then, if you want, dancing somewhere, and if you still want we can find a place to finish the evening. What d'you think?"

"Oh, Theo. That would be marvelous. And I could plan to have Steve served with the papers on Saturday. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll bake you some special cookies to thank you.

"Can we start early? Like you pick me up at five so we have more time and Steve won't be loaded yet."

"Sounds like a plan. See you then. Linda, you're a great girl. And beautiful as all get out. Lots of guys would be interested in you once you're divorced. Don't worry about that. Gotta go, sorry."

He walked into Lydia's. "Hi Lydia. I'm kinda rusty at this and nervous as hell. Not sure what to expect or how to start. Never was something that was on my bucket list. So help me out a little if you would."

She laughed. "You're quite a guy, Theo. If I were just a little younger I'd throw you on the stinking carpet and screw your brains out before you knew what happened to you. You'd have to get a taxi home.

"But don't worry. Since my husband died, I just haven't been interested. Even though you are mighty tempting. I said 'till death do us part' and for better or worse, we never really parted. I feel he's still here with me. So, your question is 'so why the hell am I here?'

"Well, several reasons. First, since you guys were just starting this craziness, I didn't want you to just be at home fretting about it or drowning your sorrows at the bar again."

"Oh, so you know about that. Not my proudest moment. It was just that...well, it doesn't matter. How do you know about it?"

"Theo, I'm older than you and most of the crew and I've become kind of the mother confessor. I know all kinds of shit about everybody. It's enough to turn your hair gray. See how gray mine is? It's from all the stuff I've been told. My life with Mel was boring in comparison, but I loved every second of it.

"So how are you? And don't worry. I'm sort of like the Confessional. Nothing you say will go anywhere. Promise. That's why people feel they can talk to me. Nothing will get back to that dumbass wife of yours. I like the heck out of her as a friend, but what a fuckup!

"So, how are you doing?"

"Awful. I said, 'til death do us part' also, but she apparently didn't. So I'm hurt, crushed, despondent, angry as hell. Empty. My life is in shambles. Does that kind of answer your question? And all this escort stuff is just crazy shit."

"Yup. That's what I thought. You're an engineer so I assume everything is already split and the paperwork is underway?"

"Damn, Lydia. You're good. But I'd rather not discuss it."

"I understand, Theo. No reason to trust me even though you can. So why did you agree to this craziness?"

"Several reasons. First, it was just too crazy to say no to. I've never even heard of anything like this before. I can't believe that there were immediate responses. Heck, I have a date for tomorrow night."

"Let me guess. Linda, right?"

"Lydia you are downright scary. How did you know?"

"Just a lucky guess. Be careful tomorrow, Theo. Steve drinks a lot and belts her around. He's really hurt her a few times. When you pick her up or you bring her home he may get violent. So be prepared.

"He'll be loaded so you should do fine, but don't let him catch you off guard. He's pretty big and a brawler. Oh, and please hang around a little or something in case he starts roughing her up or anything when you take her home."

"Got it. Thanks for the warning, but after my talk with Linda, I was planning on being ready."

"Theo, thank you for agreeing to see her. She is a wonderful woman with so much to give. So much to offer. So many interests. A lot of the same ones you have, you know. For example, she loves hiking and restores and refinishes furniture.

"Give her a chance afterwards. See how things go tomorrow, but you would never have to worry about her taking you for granted or straying.

"And as an added bonus, she's also a few years younger than you. So just about the same mental and maybe physical age as you. And you know, Theo. That's kind of the crux of the problem with you and Emma isn't it?"

"As we age, there are all sorts of physical changes, but most of us can deal with that, in ourselves, in our spouses. The problem is we age at different rates mentally. It causes spouses to grow apart. Heck, that's why the divorce rate is so high for 65-75year olds.

"In the last year or so, Emma's really aged. Lost interest in a lot of things and left herself and you stranded, right?"

"Yup. I've tried every thing i could think of to get her fired up again. Er...not just for sex, but for taking trips, going to the craft fair...whatever. But most of the time she'd prefer to sit or reminisce about the past.

"And instead of trying to perk her life up with me, she picked Hugh. Deal breaker."

"So...no chance?"

"Doubt it."

"And maybe...the biggest reason you agreed with this scheme was so you could catch Emma with Hugh again. Tell me I'm wrong, if you can."

"Dammit, Lydia. What are you some kind of mind reader or something?"

"Well, actually, I feel things and get images. But she had the look of a kid in a candy store even though she'd been caught. Sorry, but not sorry. Know what I mean? So I didn't need anything special.

"But, I'm also a good listener and folks just like to spill their guts in a safe space. So if you ever have questions, or are wondering which road to take, or whatever, I will be happy to talk to you, hold your hand and see what I see. Deal?

"I would have liked to guide Emma before all this, but although I saw it as a possibility, the suddenness of it caught me off guard. Sorry.

"Damn, I like you Theo. You are one great guy. If the spirit of that old goat of mine weren't hanging around all the damn time, I think I would have to check out what's in those britches of yours." Turning her face upwards, "Hear that, you old goat. You're keeping me from having some fun with this guy, but I love you just the same. See you soon."

"Now, let's have some tea and discuss a few more things. But please, see what you think about Linda."

"It's a deal. I always thought she was great. I had no idea of what she was going through."

"She's always kept real quiet about it. I think she's ashamed or embarrassed. I think, like most victims, she blames herself."

He got home around five and Emma was sitting on the couch watching tv. "So, how were things with Lydia?

"Great! I had a very nice visit."

"...and no sex. Just the Vulcan mind meld stuff, right?"

"Yup. What about your afternoon?"

"Well, I was home before two if that tells you anything. All I can say is poor Linda."

"So what's next?"

"Well, Molly called for Carl for tomorrow morning. I don't know about morning stuff. As you know, it never was my favorite. But...She has shopping to do and will stay away until noon or so. What about you?"

"I'm going out tomorrow night with Linda."

"No way! There's no way Steve would have called. Are you cheating on one of your rules, Mr. Engineer?"

"Yes. She's falling apart. Lydia said it was important for me to do it. But that's why I told you who it was right up front. Nothing hidden." Let me bait the hook. "I'll probably be back at eleven or so."

"I understand, Theo. It's the right thing to do. You don't have to worry about me seeing Steve twice." But now, maybe I can see Hugh tomorrow while you're out. I should ask Theo if he wants go out to eat and then mess around, but I don't want things to be sore down there before Hugh gives it a workout. And besides, he'd probably turn me down anyway.

"I'll be right back, Theo. Just need to hit the ladies room for a bit."

"Sure. I'll start dinner." So let's see. I tell her I'm going out. She picks up her phone and heads for the bathroom and closes the door. We never close the door unless it's going to peel the paint. Maybe I should just take a listen.

Whispering, "Hugh. Theo is going to leave tomorrow at five. Why don't you come over around 5:30 and we'll have a couple of hours together. Great! See you then." Emma, Emma. I still can't believe it. After 45 years. Guess I should just hand her my envelope too. Like Linda's going to do.

Friday: "OK, Emma, I'm headed off to Linda's. Remember, we should keep our phones on in case anything comes up. Be back at eleven or so."

"Good idea, Theo. Say hi to Linda for me." And maybe he'll text to say he's staying out all night. What the hell, Emma? You're actually hoping he spends the night with her so you can be with Hugh? And I don't even really feel guilty. I....I feel excited. I'm full of anticipation. Things down there are already stirring.

This is certainly not the best way to get your husband back. But...It's like....It's like when Theo and I first started. When did I lose that? How could I have lost that? He's worked so hard to keep the passion alive. And I...treated him like my favorite chair. Just loke Lydia said. What am I doing? I'm breaking all the rules. I should call Hugh and cancel.

Darn. There's the doorbell. He must have been waiting for Theo to leave. Too late to cancel now. And I need this. "Hugh! Come on in. What if we head to the bedroom and get busy?"

As Theo pulled up to Linda's a police car pulled away. He parked and rushed in the front door. She was sitting on the couch holding an ice bag to her already swollen face and discoloring eye. "Linda! Linda! Are you alright. Do I need to take you to the ER or get you anything?"

"You'd do that for me?"

"Sure. Whatever you need. What happened?"

"Well, Steve got drunk early and got pissed off about his team losing and then I told him I was going out. He started ranting and raving and then hit me until I fell down. In the past, I always just took it. Steve was Steve and when I mess up I get punished. I always felt like it was my fault.

"But it wasn't my fault, Theo. It never was my fault! So for the first time, I called 911 and the police came. They took one look and hauled him off. No judge available until Monday so he'll be in for the weekend."

"But when he gets out...."

"By that time I have to be gone. He'll be served in jail tomorrow. I'll go to one of the kids'. I...Theo, I don't know. I just don't know. Somehow I always dated losers. And then in college he got me pregnant. I was stupid. He married me and I worked and did everything around the house.

"The kids...the kids were my world. So I talked him into four. But then they were gone and it was just Steve and me. He went about his business. No big deal. Drinking with his buddies or getting wasted at home. When things didn't go right....with anything, it was my fault and I paid the price.

"Theo? I've just been so lonely...My kids must think I'm a pain in the ass 'cause I call all the time. I have the girls here...But..."

"No one to love. No one to share things with. To do things together. To feel passion and intimacy again."

She looked at him with a disbelieving look in her eyes. "Exactly! You're exactly right, Theo. How..."

"Long story. Are you ready to go?"

"Oh, Theo. I want to go more than anything. But I'm a mess. I look ugly, I'm not dressed. You don't have to keep our date. I couldn't..."

"First of all, you look great. You're a beautiful woman and a little puffiness here and there, no big deal. If that eye swells shut, we'll get you a patch at Walmart and you can say you're a pirate." She laughed.

"Theo...."

"You're wasting your breath. Not taking no for an answer. Go put on whatever's easy, although you look pretty hot in a tee shirt and shorts." She smiled and winced. "Sorry, Linda. I guess no humor from here on."

She smiled. "Don't you dare stop. I need to smile, to laugh. I never do that with Steve. Not since the kids left." Tears welled up. He hugged her.

"It's alright, Linda. It'll all work out. Now let me get some more ice for that bag and you go put on...put on whatever you like. You'll look great in anything."

"But what will people say? They'll think..."

"No. We'll just say you had a touch up at the Plastic Surgeon's office."

She laughed again. "Sure. Me and plastic surgery. Better tell them a car wreck." She hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Theo. I'll be back in a jiffy."

He straightened things up while he waited. The place was a mess. Looked like Steve must have thrown her around a bit. Twenty minutes later she came out. Long blonde hair, a touch of makeup in an attempt to hide the colors, and a spring dress. He stared.

"Theo? What? You don't like it. I'll go back and change." She teared and turned to leave. He grabbed her arm.

"No. Linda, no! You look...you look fabulous. I'm sorry if I made you..." She kissed him. They hugged each other and their tongues probed. She moaned in the back of her throat. She broke the kiss and put her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Theo. Thank you for caring. Thank you for seeing something of value in me. We better go or I'll drag you back to the bedroom. But I never want to go in there again except to pack."

"I never asked what kind of food you like?"

"Anything. I like it all. Burgers and fries'll be fine."

"Really? Then let's head out."

"Uh, Theo? Where are you taking me? This kinda looks like the place you go to dump the bodies."

"I know. But it's safe. Used to come here all the time......until we didn't." They walked in.

"Well I'll be damned. Is that Theo Underwood? It's been..." And she hugged him.

"...Way too long, Carla. Carla, this Linda." Carla hugged her as well and whispered into her ear.

"I don't know where Emma is, but take good care of this guy. He's one of the good ones."

"I will."

They breezed through dinner. Never a lag in conversation. They made each other smile and laugh. "I am stuffed, Theo. It's a good thing I'm not wearing pants. I'd have to pop my button so I could breathe.

"This has been wonderful, Theo. I can't believe it's eight o'clock already. I've had so much fun..."

"Fun's not over, Linda. Remember, I said dancing? Come on, it's just down the street."

"Really. Theo, I'm not much of a dancer. But I'll try. Here, let me get the bill."

"Nope. My treat. I've enjoyed it too." They walked a few doors down and entered another building and walked up the stairs.

"Theo, this place is incredible. It's like from a movie or something." The band was playing "Can't Fight the Feeling."

"Do you want a drink, or something?"

"Theo, I'm not much of a drinker and after that meal....Heck, I'll fall asleep at one of the tables. But you get one if you want."

"Nope. I just want to dance with you." He took her hand and led her to the floor. He put his hand out to start the dance pose, inches apart. Hand oh upper back. But she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Then backed away and kissed him.

"Thank you, Theo. This is wonderful. Maybe the best time ever." She teared again. "Come on. Let's dance, but be patient with me."

"You'll be great. Just relax. Let me guide you. That's it. You're doing great."

She teared up and snuggled in. "I've wasted so much time. So much time. So much of my life."

"Looks like I'm in the same boat. Water under the bridge. It's all about now and the future. Hey, you're really getting the hang of it. You'll be better than me in no time. I have like zero rhythm in me.

"But wait! Here's a waltz."

"No, Theo."

"This is easy too. Just one two three instead of one two. So, I step forward, you step back. Then off to the side. Right. And then together. Now I step back, my left goes to the side and then together. A box. Back to the starting point. Ready? Now with the music....Great. See nothing to it. Now, I can step out to the side and turn. Then my feet come together. See? You're a natural."

"I'm doing it! I'm doing the waltz. Just like in the movies. Thank, Theo. Thank you, thank you." She kissed him with tears on her cheeks.

"What's the matter?"

"Theo, this has been so much fun, and I want to stay, but...and say no if you want....I will understand... I got a hotel room. And it's already coming up on nine and the rules say that you need to be in by eleven. So, could we go there? Would you...would you make love to me, Theo? If you don't want to, I...I will understand."

"I would love to. Let's head out, now that you've mastered the waltz."

She already had the key so they parked in front and went straight to the motel room. He turned and kissed her. Their tongues started searching and playing. He heard her moan. "Theo, I need to take a quick shower. I'm probably gross..."