All Comments on 'The baby-sitter'

I loved how Jenn was seduced and how Susan helped her. I hope they have more fun adventures together.

loved the pace of this story and Jenn's confusion.

This story is good but it should not be in the Lesbian Sex category. While there is a lesbian encounter, it is in the minority.

Wow that was fucking amazing, my dick is rock hard. I need to give it the attention it deserves.

First off, this was the wrong category. It would fit better in Group Sex. However, wonderful story. Hopefully you write a follow up where John gets to live out his anal fantasy and to show more of Jenn's sexual education.

Very nice keep going x

Good first story but please proof read, too many mistakes.

Fucking awesome. My cock is hard

Why put a group sex story in the les category? There's a category for that already.

An excellent first effort. The criticism of the typos and the other mechanical lapses is aptly registered, but if they induce you to spend more time and attention on proofreading and editing, they will be much to your benefit.

I especially appreciate how thoroughly you have immersed yourself into Jenn. Your creation could well be extended into further episodes; you intimate as much at the end. I would be pleased to learn more about Jenn's education at the hands of the Marshalls and then on into University.

If this were your 50th submission I would rate it a 4. As a debut piece, it is worthy of a 5.

Great first story.

Really enjoyable story. I thought your visualization was very good. I am looking forward to see what you have next.

Outstanding story. Keep writing

Very good

It’s rather wordy in places and the sex scenes are a bit perfunctory, but you make a decent fist of the porno-style story.

Well written. l\Looking forward to your future work.

Great read. Looking forward to your next work.

Many thanks to all who commented.

Yes, it is probably in the wrong category, as it is not a purely Lesbian Sex story. It started life as one, but stories grow in the telling, and it developed into something that is probably better described as Group Sex. As it is my first publication, I was unsure who to cartegorise it.

I take the points about better proof reading to remove mistakes and inconsitencies, as well as typos. In my defence, I would say most people reading their own output see what they expect to see, rather than what is actually written.

I had not actually though of a folow-on from this story, although I can think oif several ways to tackle it. i have a few more stories involving a similar character which need polishing, and which may appear befre any direct sequel.

Thanks once more to those who liked my story for their support and encouragement

If this is your first story? You did a good job. I liked your plot. I hope you post more stories?

This is a complete story for everyone. We’ll done.

Great first story.

As others have said and as you've acknowledged, a little more editing wouldn't have gone amiss.

You write the physical stuff in a similar style to me so, if you'd like to have an empathetic fellow newbie beta read your next work... the offer's there.

Best regards,

Bobby

Very nice, looking forward to to perhaps another story about her ....education!

Great job for a first story. I was glad that Jenn was not only swept along, but that she participated fully. I'd be happy to read about future lessons.

Superb, you have me rockhard and about to wake my wife up!!

Make it real sex, bareback and raw, no birth control, risking a pregnancy like Mother Nature intends. So much hotter if there is real danger there. Protected sex is boring sex.

Great job Jenn!

You got me inspired to write again. As other male readers have commented, I was very aroused after reading this. You also immersed us into Jennifer’s character really well. Looking forward to creating more stories together at our next opportunity.

…M

Thank you for a great story. It is well written( minus a few typos) and I loved how Jenn is expertly seduced by Mrs Marshall