All Comments on 'The Babysitter's Story: Jane'

Okay story. But lots of little mistakes which would have been caught by a proof reader. I got distracted by the little mistakes which made me lose focus reading the story.

Thank you for your feedback. I would appreciate more specific feedback. Please let me

know my mistakes. I am eager to learn to write better.

Being naked and over a womans knee and being spanked or paddled is something i enjoy probably too much. To be dressed as a sissy maid bent over a womans knee with frilly panties and be spanked in front of other girls watching would be my ultimate pleasure. Being submissive like this i dont know how far i would go probably as far as the girls wanted but bent over a padded stool my wrists tied to it and a spreader bar on my ankles is in my mind. Over a period of time the girls getting naked and teasing me playing with me but not making me cum. Perhaps letting me get hard then soft frustrating me with the taste of vagina juice but no more then playing with my cock and bumhole making me desperate then a man appear naked and them taking turns to suck on his cock in front of me then smiling to me and telling me its my turn now taking him behind me and telling him to fuck my ass while they watch as he penetrates me by then id want his cock to fuck me and to have him fill me with his semen as i am that aroused i ejaculate just by him fucking me as they watch !!!

I'm not the OP, but here are some of the mistakes I've found:

i) The first story takes place in 1970, but 15 years later Jane reads the story - how? Perhaps as a reader's story in an adult magazine, as 1985 is still pre-internet.

ii) Jane's age is mixed up. She claims to have been 30 when the caning occurred, but also met her husband (who is apparently 15 years older) when he was in his mid-40s, yet they have been married 8 years by the time she punished David, which means she must've met when she was 22 at the latest.

iii) Finally in the last paragraph a Georgina is mentioned, unless this is a future spouse, that should probably be Victoria