The Bargain

"Did you start making plans to leave at that point?"

"I tried to, but anytime I attempted anything concrete, that is, organized, I'd become depressed, and life would begin to feel futile. I didn't know at the time until my psychotherapy began, but I was hovering around the edges of serious depression and possibly suicidal ideation. Even though I found the idea of leaving soul-killing, even more, I also found it liberating, as if I was in prison, and looking at a release date. Honestly, finding out that I'd already lost Patti helped in a way because I'd done my best and failed, but now I was freed to make concrete plans."

"So, you eventually established a relationship with Dr. Frank Condon and went through a period of emotional self-evaluation and therapy. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And did your time with Dr. Condon help you reach definite conclusions about how you felt about your marriage and how to get out of it?"

"Oh, in no way did Dr. Condon direct me in leaving my marriage. For the first three months, he simply helped me examine how I felt about the marriage, about Molly, and Patti. After I had fully organized my feelings, he simply helped me manage my anxiety and depression at the thought of my failures and of ending a more than two-decade-long relationship. That was difficult. It was very emotionally fatiguing to face my depression while simultaneously carrying on a demanding law practice and maintaining the appearance of a settled marriage. All Dr. Condon did was to bring in a little light, I found my way on my own."

"Mr. Laughlin, do you still love your wife?"

"That's a tough one. I suppose that I still love the Molly of twenty years ago before all the hurts mounted up, but as time has gone by, the love has diminished to the point that I don't feel much about her one way or another. I've become comfortable with the fact that she has never done anything to me out of malice, and that she probably loves me within her concept of the word, but I can't say honestly that I still love her in the here and now."

"Is there anything that your wife could do that would make you change your mind, that would re-establish your love for her, that would cause you to want to risk taking another chance on your marriage?"

Philip Laughin looked over at Molly, who had both of her hands clasped tightly in front of her mouth, and who gazed back at him sadly, "I suppose she could invent a time machine, take us back to our college days, and decide that I was too important to her to risk fucking another man for twenty years. That might work, I guess. But I suppose that you're asking, is there anything she could do now, and the answer to that is no. Even if she gave up her other relationship, which she would never do, there's just been too much damage to repair. I just frankly don't give a shit at this point."

"One last question for you sir, "Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife?"

Phil Laughin turned and looked his wife directly in the eye and shook his head.

"I'll need an audible answer for the record sir,", Eloise said with force.

"No! I was never unfaithful to her at any time in our marriage."

Eloise Kline glanced at Judge Bartelli, "No other questions for this witness, your Honor".

"Very well. Mr. Raffin, do you have any questions for this witness"?

"Just a few your Honor". Bernard Raffin turned toward Philip, and asked, "Mr. Laughlin, did you understand what Molly was proposing when she told you on your fourth date about her relationship with Sam Freskin?"

"I'm not sure I did, but I certainly did subsequently".

"And did you fully understand the nature of your prospective relationship with her when you became engaged?"

"I've already gone through all the permutations of our relationship at that time, and how I understood it."

"Please humor me and answer the question, sir."

"I don't believe I will."

Eloise Kline turned quickly toward Judge Bartelli. "Your Honor, all of this information has been covered in earlier questioning, has been asked and answered. I don't know what Mr. Raffin is getting at here, but it appears that he's asking questions simply for the sake of asking."

The Judge thought for a moment and looked at Raffin. "I agree. Mr. Raffin, you're going over the same ground, and if you cannot demonstrate that you're going to be branching out into new territory, we're going to shut it off here."

Raffin, looking extremely irritated, shuffled through some paperwork, had a whispered consultation with Molly Laughlin, turned to the Judge, and said, "The Defense has no further questions of this witness, your Honor."

"Very well. Ms. Kline, you may call your next witness. If you're going to take longer than thirty minutes, however, I think we should take a short break."

"That might be best, your Honor."

"OK, we're going to say thirty minutes, so everyone be back here at 3:00, and we'll wrap this up." She rapped her gavel on the table and everyone rose.

As they were all exiting the conference room, Molly headed for Philip. "Philip, we need to talk," her arm was extended, reaching out to him.

Philip Laughlin leaned away from her touch, nearly cringing, as Eloise Kline's assistant Claire stepped between the two, effectively cutting Molly off from her target.

Molly was left standing there with Patti stroking her shoulder as Philip disappeared down the hallway shepherded away by his two female handlers.

Eloise Kline, Philip, Claire, and Frank Condon stood at a wine bar, and as they discussed the progress of the case, Philip's phone vibrated, and he looked at it only to find that Patricia was calling him. He hesitated and then raised it toward his ear. Eloise grasped his wrist, and asked, "Who's calling Philip?"

"It's Patti, I probably should take it."

"No, not during the hearing. Let it go to voice-mail, and if it's anything vital you can call back, but it's not a good idea to speak to her right now if you can avoid it."

After a few moments, his phone gave a short vibration, and he saw that he did have a voice mail. He dialed in and heard a message from Patricia.

"Daddy, I wanted to let you know that I'm very upset with you. You didn't have to make my personal business public as part of your case. This is supposed to be between you and mom, but I see that since I'm in the line of fire, I'll just have to keep my head down, I suppose. I'm very hurt that you said those things about me without speaking to me first." She hung up without saying goodbye.

He scrubbed his face with his hands, and looking around the table, he said, "Patti's angry that I brought up the issue of her two boyfriends in court. I knew she wouldn't like it, but she sounds as much hurt as mad."

Eloise just shook her head. "Phil, you had to know she would be, but you also know it had to be done. If you don't get through to her, you've wasted a real chance."

"I know, but this isn't like grounding her or sending her to bed without dessert, she has to see this as a real slap in the face."

"Maybe it's a slap in the face that will wake her up," Frank said, lowering his half-full glass of Cabernet.

They tried to lighten the mood, finished their snacks, and headed back for to courtroom.

...........

The Judge looked around at the parties to the case, and said, "If nothing earth-shaking comes up, I'll be ruling on the filed request at the end of the session and entertaining any further motions that either party may introduce. Please be ready to argue anything you request".

"Ms. Kline you indicated that you have another witness. I'd like to finish this soon. Is that possible?"

"Absolutely, your Honor. Our next witness won't take long for my part, and dependent upon questioning by Mr. Raffin, I'll have two motions at the end of the process."

"OK, you may call your witness."

"The Plaintiff calls Dr. Frank Condon."

Before Eloise could speak further, the Judge interjected with a smile, "Let the record show that the court is very familiar with Dr. Condon's work, that he has appeared before this jurist as an expert witness, that the court holds him in very high regard and accepts the fact of his esteemed status as an expert witness without reservation or further qualification."

"Well, thank you, your Honor," Eloise said, complacently.

She turned back to Dr. Condon, and after a moment to collect herself, she said, "Dr. Condon, please state your name and address for the record."

"My name is Francis Myles Condon, and while I live in the District of Columbia, your Honor as I have done before, I decline to give my specific address for the reasons of patient privacy and security."

The Judge simply nodded in acquiescence.

"And Doctor, since the Judge has waived the need for qualification, I'll only ask you to state your profession for purposes of the record."

Condon nodded and said, "I'm a psychotherapist, specializing in the treatment of PTSD."

"Did you at some time have occasion to meet and accept as a patient, Mr. Philip Laughlin?"

"I did. I normally accept only those with moderate to severe emotional impairments as patients but was approached by a long-time friend who prevailed upon me to at least have a conversation with Mr. Laughlin, and if nothing else refer him to someone else who might provide more appropriate care in his situation".

"Upon your interview with Mr. Laughlin did you reach a conclusion as to whether it would be appropriate to take him on as a patient?"

"After a session with Mr. Laughlin, which I admit went substantially over the normal time constraints since it was the last of the day, I decided that not only could I help him, but that his case could open doors in my thinking and treatment that I had not explored before."

"Before we explore those factors, Doctor, what did you discern that Mr. Laughlin needed help with?"

"Philip told me that he had been in a marriage for nearly twenty-two years in which he had always accepted that his wife had an emotional and sexual partner other than himself and that he had remained with her for the sake of the minor child who had subsequently become an adult and who was no longer as much of a factor in his decision-making process. He further said that, while he in some way still loved his wife that her determination to maintain the relationship with 'the other man' made it impossible to continue their relationship, that it was simply too much for him emotionally."

"So, you and Mr. Laughlin began a therapy regimen that lasted for one year, and you had two sessions per week during that time?"

"In fact, we had more than two on occasion, when Phil was feeling particularly upset for one reason or another, totaling some one hundred and seventeen separate meetings."

"And what was Mr. Laughlin's aim in his therapy?"

"As he so baldly put it, he wanted to grow a pair of balls that would help him get beyond his shame and subjugation and take a step that would allow him to feel free and whole for the first time in twenty-four years."

At this statement, there was an audible gasp, and as Molly Laughlin looked at Philip in incredulity, he stonily gazed at Dr. Condon.

"How did you help Philip Laughlin, Dr. Condon?"

"By allowing him to tell his story aloud, letting him hear it audibly for himself, and making it take on reality in his life, rather than existing as an intellectual situation. What Philip wanted to achieve required a dose of reality that he did not want to face, and he needed help in doing so. I acted as a good therapist does in that I simply asked questions that would elicit the answers that helped him find what he was looking for. Any good, ethical therapist simply makes it possible for the patient to answer their own questions, rather than supplying the answers."

"And during these one hundred seventeen sessions with Mr. Laughlin did you, at some point, form a diagnosis, if any that described his condition or situation?"

"I did. Shockingly enough, I determined that Philip Laughlin was suffering from a form of PTSD, and something that most have, by this time, heard of in popular culture, "Stockholm Syndrome". 'SS' is a condition in which one is taken prisoner, and during his imprisonment, the subject forms a bond with his jailer or abuser and irrationally cleaves to them. Mr. Laughlin, in his way, even though he saw the actions of his wife as anathema to his way of thinking, had loved her all the more because he held out perpetual hope that at some point, she would change, and everything would be wonderful. This state of mind is common in relationships between abusers and the abused. Mr. Laughlin's case is different only in the fact that it was a velvet, loving fist that held and abused him."

"During your sessions, did Mr. Laughlin ever mention the possibility of some sort of process by which he might be reconciled with his wife?"

"Oh, absolutely not! During our conversations, he not once expressed any desire nor intent to come to any sort of arrangement with his wife that would allow a continuation of their marriage. His sole purpose was to achieve the mental clarity and resolve that would allow him to confront his wife with the declaration that he wanted to be free of their relationship, and to have the strength to resist her possible blandishments in the face of that confrontation."

"So, this was the "Grow a pair" that you referred to, and then for him to be able to stand against her entreaties in opposition to his leaving?"

"Exactly as you say, Ms. Kline."

"Now, Dr. Condon, you said that Mr. Laughin exhibited some of the symptoms of PTSD. Why would that be?"

"You have to see it from his viewpoint. Essentially, he had, even before his marriage accepted that his prospective wife proposed that she be able to go entirely against the rules of civilized society and be available to more than one man in a role as an overt sexual partner. And during the marriage, Mr. Laughlin subconsciously lived in dread that one day his wife would simply walk in the door and tell him that she had decided that she intended to also have her second lover's child and that she would expect him, Mr. Laughlin, to love it and raise it as his own. He lived in that fear and the associated fear that he would not be able to refuse her in light of his devotion to his own child, and his overpowering love for her. As the burden of these fears grew, Mr. Laughlin began to develop suicidal ideation and seldom a day went by that he didn't consider, internally, how he would accomplish his death. Any action was always curtailed by his ultimate realization that he could not do such a thing because of his daughter."

At this point, audible weeping was to be heard from both Molly Laughlin and her daughter Patricia.

"Dr. Condon, in your professional opinion, would joint counseling achieve any positive effect on the marriage of Philip Laughlin and Molly Laughlin?"

"I cannot imagine any revelations or concessions that Ms. Laughlin could make that would change Mr. Laughlin's mind."

"On another issue, it is my understanding that you also saw Ms. Laughlin in consultation for five sessions. Is that correct?"

Bernard Ruskin shot to his feet, "Your Honor, Ms. Laughin's relationship with Dr. Condon is undoubtedly covered by patient/client privilege and questioning Dr. Condon about it would be highly irregular!"

Eloise Kline handed a folder down the table until it finally reached the Judge. "Your Honor, we present as evidence a document signed by Michiko Laughlin in which she acknowledges that the sessions that she would have with Dr. Condon were specifically informational in nature, and as such are specifically for the benefit of Philip Laughlin and his treatment and that no true patient/doctor relationship exists between the Dr. Condon and Mrs. Laughlin. The agreement does stipulate that Dr. Condon would be free to discuss his sessions with her in general terms, with no specifics to be revealed."

Judge Bartelli visibly struggled with the argument for a moment. "I find it jarring to have a mental health professional recount a patient's thoughts against her will, but in this case, I find no legal barrier to Dr. Condon's doing so. You may proceed."

Ms. Kline gazed intently at Dr. Condon, "Doctor, after your conversations with Ms. Laughlin, did you reach certain conclusions about her intentions and psychological makeup, if not a medical diagnosis?"

"I did. I concluded that Molly Laughlin is a generally wonderful person, intelligent, and caring person who normally wouldn't hurt a fly, but that for twenty-two years had been subjecting her beloved husband Philip to excruciating mental cruelty because of the philosophy of her childhood upbringing. Ms. Laughlin was raised without a father, having no perspective into the role and part a male figure plays in family life, and dealing with that lack in her childhood made her mother's unconventional but loving lifestyle the model of domestic happiness. She was unable to recognize that what she was asking of Philip Laughlin was markedly different than the relationship that her mother was involved in, in which all parties lived and loved together and were in full agreement with every aspect of the situation. What she seems to have homed in upon was the "Zero-sum love theory" to the exclusion of consideration of Mr. Laughlin's sensibilities. As long as Ms. Laughlin was able to express her love adequate to her needs, others' needs seem to be insignificant to her, or, at least, incomprehensible."

"So, you're saying that as long as she got what she needed out of life, she wasn't able to see how it affected others?"

"In essence, yes. But the situation was complicated by the fact that the other man, Mr. Freskin was, apparently, completely in accord with the arrangement. But then, why shouldn't he be? He was bound by no commitments, was able to pursue his chosen profession without encumberments, had the benefits of Ms. Laughlin's companionship and her bed when he wanted it, and she loved him. What's not to like?"

"So, everyone was getting what they wanted except Mr. Laughlin, is that your characterization?"

"He got to live with a beautiful woman who loved him, in his view part of the time, the benefits of two extremely high incomes, and an intelligent daughter who was the light of his life. That was a lot, but it couldn't ever be enough under the circumstances."

"So, Dr. Condon, do you have an opinion on the success of the marriage or couples counseling that the plaintiff is asking for?"

"I do. Based upon the time that I have spent with my patient Philip Laughlin, and subsequent time with his wife, it is my opinion that it would not only be a gigantic waste of time, but it would also be injurious to his emotional state. The only purpose the exercise could achieve would be for Mrs. Laughlin to restate her viewpoints endlessly, in differing formats, which she and the plaintiff are both completely familiar with."

"Your Honor, I have no more question for this witness."

Judge Bartelli looked at her wristwatch. "Ladies and gentlemen as I said, I have an event this afternoon, so we're, unfortunately, going to have to carry this over until tomorrow morning at 10:00 AM."

She rose and left the table as the bailiff spoke a hasty, "The court is adjourned."

**********

As they walked toward the end of the hallway, Bernard Raffin leaned over to speak quietly into Molly Laughlin's ear. "Molly, I'm going to tear this doctor a new one when we get back in there. We need to establish that Philip knew what he was getting into when he agreed to the marriage and that the doctor's treatment didn't adequately consider that fact. What I intend to show is that his management of Philip's case was negligent, and that lays the foundation for a future lawsuit against him on your behalf. We need to show that Philip's decision to leave you was, if not prompted by, was at least encouraged by his sessions with this quack and that he should have been presented with a more balanced set of options."