The Bargain

"Now, where was I,...oh, yes; what we're going to do is to swear everyone who will be offering any testimony at all en masse, and you will all remain sworn for the duration of the process. There will be no witness stand as such, and witnesses will simply testify from their seat at the table. And this is a big qualification, I will interject questions when I do not believe that counsel is eliciting all the information necessary for me to make an informed ruling."

Professor Raffin rose again, but before he could speak, the Judge pointed a finger and her intense small black eyes at him and said, "Don't piss me off, Mr. Raffin."

He decided that she gave good advice and sat back down.

"OK, the totality of what I am saying here is that I intend to run this whole proceeding as painlessly and simply as possible. Mr. Raffin, Ms. Kline put aside your bags of tricks, go with the flow, and we'll try to be out of here quickly, efficiently, and with as little bloodshed as possible. Please do not test me on this. I have a great-granddaughter's fourth birthday party to attend this afternoon, and I do...not...want...to...be...in...a...bad...mood. OK, everybody ready? All right, Carl, we're going on the record."

The bailiff rose as the court reporter's fingers hovered over the stenograph and he called out, "All those in attendance, draw near and be silent, Court is now in session, Superior Court Judge Antonia Bartelli presiding. At the bar comes Philip Braxton Laughlin seeking dissolution of marriage from Michiko Satomi Yoshida Laughlin, citing grounds of "Irreconcilable Differences". All principles and parties to this action being present, Court is convened."

The Judge gazed around at the parties and began. "I see the plaintiff is represented by my old," she smiled, "Or should I say, long-time acquaintance, Ms. Eloise Kline, of the firm of Kline, Billings, and Cate, and the defendant is represented by Mr. Bernard Raffin of Georgetown School of Law. Any representational changes or additions, counsel?"

"No, your Honor," both responded.

"OK, we're here today to entertain arguments on the matter of a request by the defendant in this action to require couples counseling before the trial for final dissolution of marriage is heard. Is that correct Mr. Raffin?"

"It is, your Honor. The defendant, Professor Doctor Michiko, or Molly Laughlin, as she is more commonly known, maintains that the action by her husband Philip Laughlin was commenced precipitously without discussion between the two parties sufficient to solve marital difficulties between them that the plaintiff would deem serious enough to seek dissolution of marriage. The defendant maintains that both parties continue to harbor deep and abiding love for one another and that all avenues of effort to save the marriage have not been exhausted until marriage or couples counseling has been attempted."

"Very well, Mr. Raffin. Since Defendant has sought this action, you may call any witnesses that you feel necessary to support your arguments, and you, Ms. Kline, may do the same. I reserve the right to address and question any witness from the bench".

She looked to her right, "Carl, please swear the witnesses."

The bailiff rose, "All those informed by counsel that they will be bearing witness to the matters addressed in this filing please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear or affirm that you will reply truthfully regarding all issues upon which you are questioned in this matter? Please respond I do or state your reservations."

All replied, "I do."

After everyone was seated, Judge Bartelli said, "You may call your first witness, Mr. Raffin."

"Thank you, your Honor, the Defense calls Professor Doctor Michiko Laughlin".

Molly began to rise, but the Judge reminded her, "You may just testify from your seat at the conference table Dr. Laughlin."

"Ms. Laughlin would you please state your name for the record," Raffin said, looking down at a file.

"My name is Michiko Laughlin, I live at 119 Dogwood Close, Washington, D.C."

"And what is your profession."

"I am a tenured Professor of Economics at Georgetown University, a research fellow at the Brookings Institute, and a consultant to the United Nations Commission on Economic Development for Third World Nations."

"What educational degrees do you hold, if you please?"

"I earned double Bachelor of Science Degrees in Economics and Computational Mathematics from Stanford University and a Doctorate in Economic Theoretical Analysis from Georgetown University where I now teach."

"Now, Dr. Laughlin, Molly, how long have you been married to Philip Laughlin"?

She smiled slightly, "We've been married for nearly twenty-two years, our anniversary will be in May."

"And has your marriage been a happy one," he asked seriously?

"I love Philip Laughlin unreservedly, as much today as I ever have, and I can't imagine life without him. And I think that he also loves me, just as much as he has always done."

"Molly, is your marriage to Philip what would be described as a conventional one, and if not, would you describe it, please?"

Molly was very quiet for a few breaths, and then she began. "I see our marriage as a variation on polyamory. I am married and in love with my darling Philip, but I am also in love with and a lifetime partner with another man."

"And how did this arrangement come to pass?"

"My other partner and I", at this point the Judge interrupted.

"Ms. Laughlin, if you will continue to refer to the "Other man" who is outside your marriage, I would like for you to state his name for the record".

"Yes, your honor. My other life partner is Samuel Freskin".

The Judge continued, "And where does he reside and what does he do for a living?"

Molly responded, "As of yesterday, Sam is a Brigadier General in the United States Army, he lives in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, and he works in an arm of the United States intelligence community the details of which are unknown to me."

Mr. Raffin looked at the Judge somewhat irritably, she looked back blankly. Raffin said, "Molly, if you'll continue your answer about how the polyamorous arrangement that you found yourself in with your husband came about?"

"Yes, sir. Sam Freskin and I met when I was eight years old and became fast and best friends. By the time I was ten years old, I was completely in love with him and planned on marrying him when we were grown. In the ensuing years, however, Sam realized his innate and powerful patriotism and, early on decided that he would be a career military officer and serve his country. As a part of that dedication, he was almost like a priest in that he determined that the military would always be his bride and that he would have neither the time nor ability to sustain a marriage. And while I was very taken aback and hurt at the time, I eventually came to see that his dedication and deep, devout love for his country was matched only by his love for me; and that love continues today. I accepted his dedication to service, and curiously enough, it only made me love him more. So, when I accepted that we would not, could not be married with all the things that encompasses, I realized that there was nothing wrong with having that family experience and love with another man, and Sam agreed with me."

"And what made your thoughts turn in that direction," Raffin asked pseudo-skeptically?

"My life experiences made me believe that way", she said. "My mother was in a triad lesbian polyamorous relationship for as long as I can remember, and I had a rapturously happy childhood in a house where everyone loved one another. I could only believe that I could find someone who would love me enough to understand my heart and my feelings, and who would be strong enough to stand with me against the judgment of others."

"And did you find such a person?"

"I did." Molly's face relaxed, and she smiled, looking over at Philip, who stared at the tabletop. "I met Philip Laughlin, and it was love at first sight for me, and I believe for him also."

"Did you tell him early on about your relationship with Mr. Freskin," the attorney asked, looking at her intently?

"Yes. After our fourth date, I was completely besotted with him, and he was acting as silly as I. I sincerely believed that Philip was the man that I wanted to marry and have a family with, so I told him about Sam, who was at West Point at the time."

"And you made clear to Mr. Laughlin that you also loved Mr. Freskin, and that while you were looking for a serious, committed relationship that you intended to maintain your long-established relationship with Mr. Freskin?"

"I did. I explained it exactly as I have here today and told him that a long-term committed relationship with me would necessarily involve my previously existing relationship with Sam which I intended to maintain."

"And did Mr. Laughin respond positively to your explanation?"

"It was a tough few weeks. He walked out on me after the explanation, and I didn't see or hear from him for two weeks. I thought I had lost him and had determined to go on with my life when he called me and asked me out. He was very honest with me and said that he didn't know whether he could have the kind of relationship with me that I wanted, but that he'd like to see me and talk about it in more detail."

"At this point did you have a sexual relationship with Mr. Laughlin?"

"No. I had wanted him to be able to able to examine the relationship possibilities from a purely emotional standpoint without the pressure or coercion of sex affecting his judgment."

"So, he decided to continue purely on the basis of what he knew, not what he felt? In other words, he wasn't' blinded by sexual attraction?"

She grinned lasciviously, "He may have been blinded by the sex he hoped to get, but at that point, no, we hadn't been intimate. That came on our next date after we had a beautiful, romantic dinner, and then a deeply serious conversation. Afterward, we went back to his apartment, and it was our first time together. It was wonderful, and I knew then, for certain that I loved him and wanted a family with him."

"And what did that deeply serious conversation concern?"

"Philip told me that he had intense reservations as to whether he could successfully maintain a relationship with me if I were also in a loving, sexual relationship with another man, that he doubted that he would be able to emotionally accept what he considered only part of my heart. I assured him that it wouldn't only be part of my heart, that when I was with him that he would be my only focus. Over the next couple of weeks, we talked the issue to death, buried it, dug it up, and talked more. Philip finally decided that he wouldn't be able to make a decision until I actually went off for a weekend with Sam, which happened during Christmas break."

"And how did that go?"

"When I returned, on our first date, Philip wanted to know everything about what Sam and I did, where we went, he asked some very rude and intrusive questions about the personal time we spent together, and I refused to tell him anything about it. I told him that I would never give him intimate details about my time with Sam any more than I would tell Sam any intimate facts about my time with him. I'm not sure if that did any good, but he stopped asking. Over the next six weeks, we continued to see only one another and didn't actually discuss my other relationship. Just before Spring Break, when I was going to spend a week with Sam, Philip told me that he wanted to try to have a dedicated relationship with me and that he believed that he had enough love in his heart for me to accept the situation."

"Did you subsequently marry, and at any later time did your husband express any reservations about your meetings and relationship with Mr. Freskin?"

"We did marry, and he never addressed the relationship directly. However, for the first couple of years, every time I left to spend time with Sam, Philip would always ask me not to go. He never couched it as a demand, or told me directly not to go, he simply asked it of me. I knew that he hadn't fully accepted things as they were at the time, and I suppose I thought that time would solve everything."

"And did there come a time when he stopped asking you not to go?"

"Yes, after our daughter, Patricia was born, he stopped asking. But I noticed that on those occasions, he wouldn't let me kiss him goodbye or hug him, and I remarked on it to myself, but didn't ascribe any deep significance to it".

"Did you later come to understand that the birth of your daughter had some significant effect on your relationship?"

"Yes. On the day that my husband and I attended a couples session with Doctor Frank Condon, my husbands' therapist, Philip told me that on the day Patricia was born, that when flowers and a card arrived from Sam, I insisted on calling him. During that call, I was, apparently emotional, and I expressed my happiness with Patricia's birth, was bubbly and happy, as you might expect, and, in Philip's hearing, told Sam how much I loved him, and that he would love the baby also".

Molly looked down at her hands, took a tissue from the box on the table, and wiped her eyes. "I don't even remember any of it, but what I said has been confirmed by others who were in the room. And while I don't remember it, I'm sure that I meant every word of it. I loved Sam, I loved my little girl, and I wanted him to love her also. If I had been in full control of my faculties, I wouldn't have subjected Philip to that conversation, even though I meant it all. But I knew Philip's feelings, and I would have never hurt him like that. I knew that it was a special moment for just the two of us, but you've got to remember, that the love that I have in my heart isn't parceled out, divided as it were. If I had my choice, I'd live in a big house with Philip and Sam, everyone would love each other, and we would be whole. But I know that's not possible, and I wouldn't have hurt Phil for the world."

"Did Mr. Laughlin discuss the occurrence with you?"

"No, he didn't, and I actually didn't know that it had happened until it was revealed at his therapist's office. I was completely taken aback and didn't believe that I could have been that reckless, and after further consideration, I realized how badly he must have been hurt; but you have to remember that I was under the influence of drugs at the time."

"And did he ever subsequently discuss being unhappy in your relationship, or with your relationship with Mr. Freskin?"

"No, he didn't. He still wouldn't let me kiss him before I left to see Sam, and wouldn't let me hug him goodbye, and when I returned, he was always a little standoffish for a couple of days. But I always attributed that to a kind of atavistic male reaction to the mating ritual, that I was the metaphorical broodmare that had to be guarded". She shrugged, "In retrospect, it appears that I was completely wrong".

"So, your husband has filed for divorce on the grounds of "Irreconcilable Differences", yet he made no effort over the last nineteen years to discuss his grievances with you; and what you're asking for is simply the opportunity to enlist the help of a mental health professional to aid you and your husband in diving deep into your problems with the sole aim of saving your marriage. Is that correct?"

"Yes, it is."

Raffin glanced at the Judge, "No more questions, your Honor."

Judge Bartelli looked over to Eloise Kline, "Do you have questions for the witness, Ms. Kline?"

"Just a few you Honor."

Ms. Kline turned to face Molly Laughlin.

"Ms. Laughlin, had you gone out with other boys and men in your high school and college experience while you were in love with Mr. Freskin."

"Yes, I had".

"Many people"?

"Several, I don't remember specifically how many".

"Do you remember how many in college, how many that you liked enough to give the "Other man" talk to?"

Molly looked uncomfortable, but answered, "I discussed my situation with four other guys before Philip."

"These were men who you considered desirable, and who you thought presented possibilities as a marriage partner?"

"Yes."

"And how many of them progressed into a relationship with you past the big reveal."

"None. None of them wanted to proceed after discovering what it might lead to."

"So, of the five that you were interested in enough to inform of your, how shall I say, predilections, Mr. Laughlin was the only one with a big enough heart to give you the benefit of the doubt?"

"Yes, and that's exactly the way I would have characterized it."

"You also understand that many would have characterized it as him being a "Sucker" don't you Ms. Laughlin?"

"Regrettably, I do, but I never would."

"So, if I may, Ms. Laughlin, wouldn't it be fair to say that since Mr. Freskin wasn't going to settle down with you in the little white cottage and have babies popping out like muffins, you started to look for someone who would, someone who would overlook you having an ongoing sexual and emotional relationship with Mr. Freskin and that it took five tries before you found someone who was sucker enough to fall for your line?"

"NO! That would not be fair," Molly cried. "It took me five tries to find someone who loved me enough to let me live my own authentic life without trying to strap me down with the bindings of conventional society."

"So then, did you tell Mr. Laughlin that if he loved you enough, he would let you have your lover and relationship, and still maintain a happy comfortable home with the child, two cars in the garage and church on Sunday?"

"YES, that's what I told him, and I meant it. I am who I am, and if he didn't love me enough, he needed to let me go and we'd both move on; but he never did, he lived by the agreement, and I don't know what changes that now. That's all I want, the chance to talk to him in-depth, to find out what changed, what we need to do, what adjustments we need to make to allow our loving life to continue."

"You realize that's all YOU want don't you Ms. Laughlin?"

"What do mean?"

"Do you care what your husband wants?"

"God, yes, but how will I know unless he talks to me?"

"But Ms. Laughlin, it's apparent. He wants a divorce!"

She turned her head abruptly as Molly was trying to speak, "No more questions for this witness your Honor."

The Judge looked at two files on her desk. "Do you have further witnesses Mr. Raffin?"

"Yes, your Honor. The Defense calls Patricia Laughlin".

Raffin glanced to his left. "Ms. Laughlin, no one wants to put you in the middle of this issue, and I'll only be asking you fact questions. Is that OK"?

"Yes, I guess."

"Patricia, oh, may I call you Patricia?"

"Patti, if you don't mind."

"OK, Patti, as far as you're concerned, have your parents had a happy marriage?"

"As far as I was concerned, they were the ideal mom and dad, always hugging and kissing; someone was always at my school activities. I love them both so much, and this whole process has me very upset."

"So, you never heard them fight, or heard your father raise the issue of Mr. Freskin?"

"No, never. I knew Sam was mom's best friend that went back to when she was just a child, but I never heard daddy make an issue of it."

"And you never saw it have an apparent effect on their relationship?"

"Not from my perspective."

"No more questions for this witness, your Honor."

"Ms. Kline, any questions?"

"Just a few, Judge". Ms. Kline looked across the wide table. "Patricia, how well did you know Sam Freskin?"

"Not well at all until I met him, but Momma talked about him a lot. She told me about things they got into when they were kids, how honorable he was," she hesitated, "How much she loved him."

"And didn't that strike you as odd, to hear your mom talk about how much she loved another man, other than your father?"