The Book

He snapped. "Get all set in there. You wake me 'n you'll regret it."

Muse moved to the other side of the bed, hugging the edge as he hurriedly got in her blanket and moved the pillow.

He threw himself into bed next to her, sprawled enough that his knee and arm were both touching her. She couldn't move over any more without falling off the bed, so she just squeezed her eyes shut and hoped he left her alone.

In minutes, he started snoring and Muse glared at the window. Why couldn't he have gone to sleep an hour ago?!? He'd been just waiting for her to get up so he would have an excuse to make her sleep in his bed.

Slowly, she rolled off the bed and eased up, then tiptoed out of the room. For now, she decided against trying to run, she curled up on the sofa instead and felt sorry for herself.

She was still sitting there in the morning, wide awake and lost in herself when he came out of his room in nothing but his sleep pants.

"I told you to sleep in there!" he yelled, hands going to his hips as she snapped out of her thoughts and blinked at him.

"You were snoring and I couldn't sleep," she lied. Her pa had snored so loud and hard he could wake the dead and she'd learned to sleep through it. Aaron wasn't so bad as he was.

"Get used to it! You... you ain't slept, have ya?"

"No," she sighed, looking around at the light coming in the window.

"You get all wrong in the head again?" he demanded.

"I was just a bit lost in thought," she shrugged, looking down at her hands.

"Make breakfast," he snapped, going back to his room.

Muse got up and started the fire in the stove, then stood waiting on it to heat up as he went out to heat up the forge.

When he came back in, he stood at the door and watched her a moment as she stared unblinking at the wall. Her eyes were wide and she looked afraid of something, a thought or a memory. "Muse," he called softly.

She didn't move.

"Muse!" he called more loudly, stepping closer.

She kept staring, her hands in a white knuckled grip.

"MUSE!" he yelled, shaking her.

She screamed and dropped to the floor, her arms covering her head like she was expecting a blow.

Aaron knelt, feeling helpless as he put a hand on her shoulder again. "You ain't there no more, Muse. You ain't never goin' back there, that place is gone. Forever. You stay here, you hear me? You stay right here with me. Get up now, you ain't even started breakfast," he admonished gently.

She stood, but she was trembling from head to toe as she looked around wide eyed. He watched her face crumple as she burst into tears.

"No! No, none of that, Muse! No grief for him! Fine! C'mon then, we'll go eat at the tavern. Clean up yer face and fix up yer hair, c'mon!" he told her, ushering her to her things and her brush.

She sat down on the sofa instead, curling up to hug herself and cry.

Aaron huffed, throwing up his hands. "You hafta stop, Muse, I don't like this bullshit! Dry it up! I'm tellin ya as yer husband to stop it! Don't you shed another tear for that old bastard! Sit up right now and go get your fuckin' face cleaned up!" he yelled, but there was no heat behind it.

She still managed to stand and go wash her face, then fix her hair.

"Cain't I just stay here, just this once?" she pleaded as he motioned her to the door.

"You need ta eat, you don't hardly eat enough to feed a fuckin' bird, Muse. You need ta eat 'n stop being all gone in yerself. No more of it, you hear me? C'mon," he told her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her out the door.

Muse had to run to keep up, still feeling out of it. She didn't look up as they walked through the tavern to the back table, even when he held her chair and sat her down.

"Lookit me," he growled as he sat down.

Muse looked at him, still feeling lost.

"Tell me 'bout that book you been readin'."

"What?"

"Tell me 'bout... Sharon, four," he told the passing woman without looking at her. "Tell me 'bout that book you been readin'. What's it about?"

"I... umm... two sisters who both love the same man?"

"Love story then?"

"Oh... not really. When one finds he's been wooing both of them, she leaves them both behind to go find adventure and live a life bigger than both them small minded people. She was just about ta set sail to Africa, that's where I left off," she mumbled, confused as to why he was asking.

"You always read stories like that?"

"I read whatever Frank gets in," she shrugged, sipping her water. "Just fiction, though. Why?"

"So's you's thinkin' on the here 'n now. On me."

"Oh," she breathed, finally actually looking at him. "Sorry... I just ain't quite feelin' myself, Aaron," she mumbled.

"How 'bout you..."

"Aaron?" Frank called, walking up to their table and leaning on it. "I mentioned about the bakery to Clarrissa and she mentioned it to Katherine. She said her and Douglas mean to look it over 'n make an offer? They wanna know when they kin look at it 'n talk to ya."

"It's her place, ask her."

"You can handle all of it," Muse told him quickly. "I want no part of it at all."

"Then send 'm over to the smithy later, I'll walk 'm down 'n let 'm look. What happened to Daniel and Lyah?"

"Ain't seen 'm yet. I figure you kin put it out there a little more, see who offers the most for it? Seems there's interest there. Anyone else asks, I'll send 'm over to ya. Muse, I get a shipment in tomorrah, I happen to know there's at least 5 books, only three of 'm like you like, though. Should I save them back for you?"

"I'll take all three," Aaron spoke up before she could. "I owe ya for that one she borrowed, too. It got ruined the other day when all that happened."

"Alright, I'll set them back for you," Frank smiled, giving Muse a pleased look. "See you tomorrow, Muse!"

"Bye," she called, feeling a bit warm just then. "Thanks," she told Aaron. "You don't have to do that. He lets me borrow them."

"I want you to have 'm. You love readin'. You should have things you love. Maybe you could draw me something', make me a picture. I'd put it up on the wall. When he gets your paper and stuff in, would you do that?"

"Maybe... I'm not that good at it. I never got to practice as much as I would've liked."

"You was always drawin'! I saw the little pictures you drew, they was always good!"

"Here you go," Sharon called happily, then leaned in like she was going to kiss Aaron's cheek again.

"Bring her some milk," he told Sharon, leaning away from her. "Me too."

"You didn't come to see me," she purred, leaning on the table.

"I ain't gonna no more," he told her, scowling at his plate as he picked up his fork.

"What happened to not really being married?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I just don't wanna no more," he grumped. "Run fetch us that milk."

Sharon snorted and rolled her eyes, but left.

Muse peeked over at Aaron, wondering what he was about. It did make her feel a bit better that he wasn't rubbing the girl in her face like he had been.

"Eat," he rumbled, not looking at her.

Muse sat up and took a bite, but looked him over again.

He wasn't ugly... not at all. His heart was, and he was mean as a snake... at least he used to be. He still seemed grumpy and foul tempered, but he had been attempting to be nice in a way, even if that way was by just trying to buy her things. She tried to look at him as a man, looking over his soft black curls and sapphire blue eyes. His lips were close to being too full for a man, and she decided that she liked that he kept shaved. She didn't like that he was so huge, though she guessed it helped with his work. Blacksmithing took a heavy hand.

"Told ya ta eat," he growled, looking up from his plate to meet her eyes as she looked at him.

Muse looked down and poked at her food a bit, then took a halfhearted bite. Looking up at him again, he was still watching her with a scowl. "Ain't really hungry," she told him softly.

"Eat anyway," he countered.

"Guess I meant ta say I don't really feel like eatin' nothin'. My tummy is a bit unsettled."

"Try," he demanded, sitting up and staring her down.

Muse sighed and took another bite before poking at the food again and moving it around her plate.

"You best get ta eatin', Muse," he threatened darkly.

She took another bite, scowling down at the plate, then grimaced when her stomach protested. "I eat more, I'll sick up," she told him, setting the fork down, then laying her head on her arm next to the plate.

Sharon came back with two cups of milk and Muse quickly turned away from it, even the thought of it setting her tummy off.

Aaron growled, but said nothing as he finished eating everything on the table.

"We're headed home," he told her, speaking as if he were trying not to startle her if she was asleep.

Muse said nothing, getting up slowly and pushing off the table as she swayed miserably.

Aaron didn't walk ahead this time, he stayed next to her, hovering close like he was afraid she might need help. He said nothing as he led her inside and straight back to the bed, turning the covers back so she could lay down.

"Get rest," he told her, hesitating at the door. "Don't worry on dinner, I'll eat at the tavern. Bring you back somethin' if yer feeling better."

"Thanks," she sighed dismally, closing her eyes against the light coming in the window.

Aaron left quietly.

Muse woke when Aaron got into the bed next to her, blinking at the darkness. "I slept all day?"

"You had a fever earlier, sweatin' through and havin' tossin' fits. Doc said sweat it out. Get some rest, Muse. He said you got strain on your mind 'n heart 'n all, it's makin' you sick in your body. You need ta stop thinkin' on yer old life now. Yer married, hitched up ta me an' everythang is gonna be different now. Get it right in yer head, Muse. He ain't comin' back 'n yer mine to protect. I aim to. You hear me, Muse?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, curling up as she shivered. "It got cold?"

"You have a fever again," he grumped.

"Sorry."

"Just get rest 'n feel better."

"Aaron?"

"What?"

"Why'd you save me?"

"I told ya. I wouldn't let them men do what they was plannin', not to no one."

"But you didn't have to go as far as marry'n me. Coulda just got me outta there, saw me away. You chose to marry me... I always thought you hated me, but you never did, did you? It's like what Frank used ta say. A boy is mean to a girl he likes ta try 'n hide from others that he feels for her. He don't know how ta just..."

"You don't know what you're talkin' about!" he seethed. "Your fever is messin' with yer head! I signed them papers ta keep you from that fate, that's all!"

Muse sighed, half out of it as she turned over and went back to sleep.

She woke before him in the morning, sitting up and holding her head as she winced, then went to the privy. She noticed the extra room had been cleaned out and her bed moved in, as well as her chest of drawers.

When had he done that?

There were also three books stacked on her chest.

Going out front, she started breakfast, still aching and her head hurting, but not feeling as bad as the day before.

"You alright?" Aaron asked from the door, pulling his shirt on.

Muse shrugged, not turning around.

"I'd'a gone up to the tavern."

She shrugged again, moving to put the food on the table.

"You ain't talkin'?" he asked, sitting down at the table.

"Head aches," she told him softly, sitting down.

"Cause ya need food. Drink all that water too. Doc said ya needed it, you's makin' yerself sick not eatin' or drinkin' nothin'. Do it even though you don't feel like it, Muse."

She sighed, but cut herself a piece of bread and ate it.

"Always did wonder," he spoke up. "What's Muse? Family name?"

"Ma said it was like, inspiration. Muse was a lady that inspired a man in a story. She said I inspired her, so she named me Muse."

"That's somethin'," he offered, his eyebrows going high. "Mine's from the bible."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Did ya see I picked up them books?"

"Thanks."

"I was thinkin' on makin' that bookshelf today. I ain't that busy just now at the forge."

She nodded, then realized how hard he was trying to make conversation with her, put her at ease. "Thanks, Aaron," she told him, trying to acknowledge his efforts.

"You need ta lay down again, you could lay on the sofa? I could stay here with ya 'n do some small work needs doin'. If ya wanted."

Muse looked at him again, looking over his face. He wanted her to want him to stay. He wanted to be there for her and he wanted her to need him.

"If you want," she told him softly, looking back down at the table. "If you have plenty to keep you busy."

"I do!" he agreed quickly, sitting up straighter. "Fittin's an' all ta put together. Maybe... maybe if yer head gets feelin' better you might read one 'a them books?"

"Maybe," she agreed.

"Maybe you could read it out loud," he shrugged, as if he didn't really care.

"If you'd like," she agreed again, looking over his face as he blushed.

"Drink yer water," he told her quickly, going back to his food.

Muse did lay down on the sofa when she finished, putting a cool, wet cloth over her eyes. She could hear him bring a crate of things in, things that clinked and jangled as he moved. Pulling the chair across the room, he sat right next to the sofa. Close enough he could reach out and touch her if he wanted to. More than once, she felt him put a hand on her head as if checking for a fever.

The third time he did it, she spoke up. "I ain't feelin' feverish, Aaron, my head just aches 'n my body feels worn out. I spent full days on my feet 'n didn't feel so worn as this."

"Sip on this water some," he told her, putting a hand under her shoulder and forcing her to sit up as he put a cup to her lips.

"I ain't helpless," she told him, taking the cup and sipping the water. "Thanks."

"You want some more bread?"

"No thanks. I'm fine, Aaron, you kin see to your work. Stop frettin' on me."

"I told you, you don't get ta tell me what ta do. Yer mine ta protect, that means takin' care when you're sick, too. Stop bein' difficult."

Muse only sighed and turned away from his hand holding her up, curling up on her side. Facing away from him, her head pressed to the sofa, she closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Yer sleepin' too much."

Muse jerked awake, then sat up groggily to look around.

"Sleep all day again, ya won't sleep tanight."

"Time is it?"

"After noon. Prolly about 2, I reckon. Try'n sit up 'n drink more water."

Muse sat up, cozying into the corner of the sofa for the afternoon.

Aaron left that evening and brought her back a plate of dinner that she tried to eat, then set one of the new books next to her as he sat down.

"Head still aches enough that I don't think I could read just now. Plus the light ain't so good no more."

"Reckon not," he agreed glumly.

"Tomorrow, maybe, if yer plannin' on makin that shelf. I could sit out there with ya."

"Yeah?" he asked, perking up.

"Maybe," she reiterated, getting up and heading back to bed as she rubbed her head.

He was close behind her, though it was earlier than he'd been going to bed. "Think you'll feel better tomorrah?" he asked her, leaning over her on his elbow.

"I hope."

"Me too."

"Night," she mumbled, rolling away from him.

He sighed and laid down.

When she woke up early and tried to slip out of bed, he woke up and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "How you feelin'?"

"Better," she lied, hurrying into the front room to make breakfast. She had a feeling she knew what he was waiting for, what he wanted from her once she felt better and that's why he was being so nice and solicitous. She might have to act worse than she was later, but for now she didn't want him hovering again.

He still came in and stood over her while she cooked. She tried to ignore him and work around him, knowing he wanted her to stop and look up at him. She refused, knowing what he was about. When she served breakfast, he finally sat down with a scowl at his plate.

She ate, then jumped up to clean up before he could start talking to her again, getting up the nerve to say what he wanted to.

He was grumpy as he finished and got up, heading outside.

Muse finished cleaning, then slipped out and went around, slipping in Frank's back door where Aaron couldn't see her from out in the forge.

"Muse?" Frank asked curiously as she slipped in. "You alright?"

"Yessir. Been missin' our talks."

"Me too," he grinned, leaning on the counter. "So how's married life? Didn't figure you'd ever go in for it the way you talked."

"Wasn't much choice with how things went. Aaron... he's tryin' I guess. He ain't so bad as I imagined he'd be. Frank? Can I ask you a question?"

"Always, Muse!"

"Back when you was married ta Olinnia, how long were you married 'fore you kissed her? 'N more... all that?" she asked, embarrassed, but wanting to know how far she could push it.

"Oh... well, we actually kissed quite a bit BEFORE we was married. As for the other... the night we was wed. He ain't too keen on...?"

"He's plenty keen on it... I ain't, so much. There a way to keep him from it?"

"Well, so long as we're bein' blunt here, Oli never let me at 'r when she was on 'r moon."

"Oh... I guess that'd be... problematic. How long you reckon that'd work?"

"Depends on if you have proof of it. Most fella's ain't been married don't know much about it. He might not know much, but ya know he had a ma 'n three older sisters he grew up with? He might know as much as you about it. Might now how ta tell, what to watch for if ya catch my meanin'."

"I guess that's so... his family... they still live close?"

"His folks are still on their farm, his sisters all married. Two live off now, but Sarah lives down by the loggin' camp. She married a loggin' man. She comes inta town sometimes, stops in and see's him. His folks too, 'n he goes out there. I'm guessin' he ain't told them about you yet?"

"I guess he hasn't had much time. I figure he wants ta bring me around to the idea of bein' his wife fore he brings me round folks who'd know I wasn't too happy over alla it, you know?"

"I understand that... Muse, if you're unhappy? If you want out? I'll talk to the sheriff. Have it annulled."

"Annulled? That's the word for it? Takin' back a weddin'?"

"Yeah. He'd do it if you said you was pressured into it. Forced. Specially if you ain't even been with 'm yet. That mean you want me to speak with 'm?"

Aaron opened the door then, looking a little frantic. "There you are! I didn't see ya come in here?"

"We was just talkin'," Frank smiled, standing up. "We're used ta talkin' at least once a day when she did her delivery here. Ordered all that stuff you asked for! Also told Todd to stop in on his way home 'n speak to Daniel 'n Lyah! I'll speak to more folks tomorrah at church."

"Thanks. Muse? Why don't you come on home now. I'm workin' on that book shelf."

Muse nodded, then glanced at Frank before she followed Aaron out.

He didn't ask, he caught her wrist and pulled her out to his forge, then picked her up and set her on a table. Pulling her legs up, she sat criss cross and watched him as he started working on the book case.

"What do you 'n him talk about?" he asked her, looking over at her quickly before going back to his work.

"We talk some about books he lets me borrow. He reads 'm too. He tells me some about his wife, she died four years gone. He talks about when they was my age. Sometimes he talks about goin's on around town."

"You talk any about you?"

"Not much. Frank likes ta talk, I mostly just listen."

"Yeah. So how come you went over there 'n didn't come out here? Like we talked about?"

"I just wanted to ask 'm if he was gettin' any soap in like I like."

"Somethin' wrong with what I got?"