by bobrobertson
Bob you have outdone yourself. The series is a 6, not a 5. And this chapter is a 7.
LOL While he was trying to tell her the truth, an image of Michael Keaton saying, I'm Batman, popped into my head. LOL
erotic story I have read since the great M1ke Hunt quit writing them around 2000.
(Try saying his name out loud three times) Okay, I'm acting like a high school lout, but your premise and way of telling it is superb. Of course it's pure fantasy, but once the reader is imersed, who cares?
No woman is THAT dumb. Again, who cares? I imagine you will take this another chapter or two and will be looking forward to it. I see that a couple of readers have provided you with potential avenues to take the story. They're not bad ideas, but I think you should trust your instincts and go from there.
By the by, humorous writing is by far the most difficult to do. As a high school senior, I sent several jokes into the Johnny Carson Tonight Show. All of which were used on the air. I thought (after receiving my first check) I had struck gold. It was so easy ... and then after a month of successes I bombed and received a rejection notice and with it lost the knack. Life does, however go on. Put me at a party and I can assure you, I am funny and entertaining, but when I put pen to paper, or type on my pc, it's erotica that comes out. So, while I didn't get rich writing humorous material, I have been happy in other areas.
Keep it up. Keep writing even if the funny side dries up, or seems to. You have a great writing style.
ParisWaterman, fellow author
pariswaterman@gmail.com
creeps me out.
Makes me feel sort of sick.
But it's only a story--
but if he's not "the bra salesman," then who is he?
(Ha, ha--she's an undercover detective just playing dumb--and she doesn't even feel guilty that she's got him--as the saying goes--in the palm of her hand.
She's got files on him. There's nothing she, this woman, does not know.
She's in control.
If not, she will fake it.
She's being paranoid--like a good little detective--and faking it right now.)
I hope they leave their name and tell what they were reading. (I would. In detail.)
This place deserves it.
(Out of all the sexism and racism here--black men have been portrayed worst.)
Don't worry, don't doubt it, you are killing people, and will kill more.
All this is hate talk.
And yes it's worth being informed about it. And watching what's going on here.
And talking about it to people who know about this stuff.
It's funny and --i hate using adjectives, doesn't feel right--
In spite of the funny, lovableness of the story, it just is, to tell the truth ( doesn't mean other people don't have any problem and love it)--too painful, physically, for me.
Just reading about clamps on nipples, bitten nipples, etc., I don't mean to be offensive, but--that's way more pain than I could ever willingly stand.
I have to almost be "drugged" just to have stitches--or even a splinter--taken out.
And I have to admit, I'm glad I'm like this. I don't deserve to feel pain.
But for people who like it, go for it? I don't know.
(Oh, and by the way, breastfeeding is not painful. And I don't remember ever being bitten. So there's no connection.)
I
But I will find out who you are if I want to.
For my poems, my stories ...
and I've got as much stress as I can take right now.
What with detectives and all. But I pulled a fast one--
I started following them--
then I just gave up and never left the house--
by Rita Hayworth
P.S. If all else fails, there is an exit.
I'm too worked up right now to say more about this story except what I said in title.
I have to take a nap. All this (my) emotion--I don't have it all the time, but when I do--wears me out.
He said I shouldn't be going without a bra, no matter that they were small. "Your nipples stick out even when not excited because of all the nursing you did. Now I don't mind that, but you're goin to ack like a lady--"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rsd6WXisgLk
I have very particular tastes in bras. I don't care whether men like them or not. I HATE ANY PADDING--EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO HIDE YOUR NIPPLES IN A T-SHIRT.
It's just not appealing to me. I like these DKNY bras with sheer everything, except for the underwire.
They don't completely hide your nipples, but it's better than nothing. And it's all I can take.
I'm going to Jackson--http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rsd6WXisg
Your stories are not only very sexually stimulating, but they are actually very funny and well written. I don't know too many authors who can actually pull that off. Well done, sir!