The Captain

"I understand Sir' I tell him with all the affection I can put forth. He opens the door for me and we walk to the bedroom and enter without speaking a word. I know my place on scene nights like this-it's at his feet. He removes my sundress and I keep my eye downcast. He kisses the top of my head and asks me if I am ready to begin. I answer, "Yes, Sir!"

He leads me to the bed and tells me to bend over and spread my legs. I do as he asks, and he rubs his finger along the forbidden hole. We haven't gone there yet but I suspect tonight we will. I hear the pop of a lid and feel the cold of the lube as he spreads it over the outside of the area. I hear a drawer open and I hear the lube open again and then I feel something press against my ass. "This is a jeweled plug. It is heart shaped and purple. I thought of you when I saw it. I bought it for us. Relax for me and let this in. I want to claim all of you and this is the first step. We must prepare you." He is explaining and at the same time I am relaxing and the plug pops inside. "Good girl!!!!" He exclaims, and I just know he is grinning. He twists the plug and then smacks my ass hard. I feel it move a little and little tendrils of pleasure course through my body. "On your back now, quickly. We have a lot to get ready before I can enjoy my girl." He tells me absentmindedly. "Knees up and spread your legs, we are going to do some E-stim."

I obey quickly and he places the pads where he wants them. One on each side of my nipples, one on each side of my clit and one on each side of the plug. He then hooks the wires to the pads and instructs me back to my knees with my arms out over my head. He hooks the wires to the tens unit and turns it on low and I can feel a low sting in my breasts, my nipples start to pucker and I very much enjoy the sensation, he knows I can take much more. He turns the breasts up about half way and begins to turn the pads on and up that are attached to my lower half. He starts low and slow. The pain is immediately intense but between the two I am in heaven. When he gets to where they are even and I have not said anything except to moan and gasp a few times. He places the tens unit on the bed still on and within reach. I hear him moving around behind me.

I feel his hand run over my ass and my back. A gentle smack with something and I am alert. Another smack and I can feel the long tails trail over my back. It was a light one but enjoyable. His fingers dance over the outer lips of my pussy feeling the wetness there. I moan and try to rub against his fingers to get more friction. He takes his flogger and comes down on me harder this time. He does that about ten more times and I am in utter bliss and jelly in his hands. My pussy is wet and running down my legs as well. Next, he pulls out a vibrator and pulls out the plug from my ass. He places the vibrator in my pussy and I feel his cock pushing against my ass. I will myself to relax and allow him to enter. I take a deep breath and he pushes in slow and steady until he is all the way in. I am completely full. He starts thrusting and suddenly the tens unit goes up a few notches and the vibrator turns on. It's sitting against my g-spot and I wish I could use my hands to move it just a little. "Don't even think about moving those hands. I mean it." It's as if he can read my mind. I can't even respond. I just close my eyes tighter. He thrusts harder into me and the vibrator moves and taps against my g-spot while it vibrates at top speed. He knows I won't last long at this rate. He pounds harder against me and I hear him moan. "You are mine, I am going to claim your ass. I have cum in every hole you have but this one and tonight this one is mine too. Fuck, I can feel you starting to cum. Cum for me now. Flood me. I want you to claim me like I'm claiming you." His voice is almost a whisper. He almost sounds like he's begging. The right combination of pain and pleasure put me over the edge and I go screaming his name. I don't know what else I said but I hope I didn't reveal anything that I am trying to keep close to my chest.

After, he removes the pads, the vibrator, cleans me up, brings me a drink and snuggles in bed next to me holding me close. My nose is buried in his neck and my arms are around him. His hand moves up and down my back and he kisses my head. I can tell he has a lot on his mind but I leave him to his thoughts. I have a lot to think about too.

I wake the next morning to a note on the pillow next to mine from him. He has left early for work and will leave for home from there. He urges me to stay the last night here and enjoy myself. He ends the note with a few XOXO. I get up and place the note in my bag. I decide to spend the day on the beach and enjoy what little time I get and maybe clarity will come. Hours pass and I hear nothing from him. I begin to realize that I may have said something in the heat of the moment I shouldn't have. I go back to the cottage and decide to get cleaned up and go from there. It will be a pretty long drive for me home if I decide to leave now but I may just do it. Staying here another night, smelling him on the sheets, remembering our encounters will be heartbreaking for me.

I shower and begin to pack my things. Tears fall from my eyes and my heart breaks. I really didn't want it to be like this but maybe this is best. This is a clean break and he has no clue what my intentions are at this time. Unless his are the same as me of course. With so many unanswered questions, I continue to pack my bag. Walking through the cottage to make sure we didn't forget anything, I snap a couple of pictures with my phone. Under the edge of the bed, I find a shirt of his and hold it to my nose. It was the shirt he wore the night we went to the Mexican place. I smile and place the shirt in my bag and look around, tears well up in my eyes. The sun dips down below the sea as I walk to my car. Leaving that part of my life is the hardest thing I will ever do I know this, but I also know I won't ever be anyone special to him. I sometimes wish he would just open up, but I know it will never happen. The future is uncertain, there are so many things I just don't know about him. I'm not sure I ever will. In the darkness of night here alone in the cottage I can admit that I care way too much for him, maybe even love him. I have tried not to. I tried keeping my distance. Nothing worked. This man owns a piece of me and I have no idea where I stand with him.

I decide that I need the time to think so I put my bag down and decide to stay the last night. I won't have much contact with him for the next few weeks, he's always very distant after we've been together. I skip dinner opting for a few snacks and the bottle of wine we had in the refrigerator. I go out to the patio and lay on the lounger where we made love and watch the moon as it raises in the sky and listen as the waves crash against the shore. I close my eyes and remember. I remember all the wonderful times and moments and tears slip from my eyes and travel down my cheeks. My grief overwhelms me and I walk back into the cottage, scenes from the days and nights we spent together run through my head. I strip naked and crawl in our bed. Yes, our bed. I cuddle up to and breathe in his scent from his pillow. I close my eyes and remember how good his arms felt around me. I long for so much but I know he will never be mine. Crying and mourning for what I know will never be, I fall asleep at some point.

I wake the next morning to find him curled up beside me, his arms around me holding me tight. "You cried in your sleep love, why?" he asks as if he has been there the entire time.

Looking away, I gather what I need to say and what I want to say and then decide how I want to proceed. "You left. All you left was a note, no texts, nothing. You said you were going to head home, or was it too late to travel?" I ask him. That was mean in ways but honest too.

"I went to my training. I agonized over how I left you. I hated myself for doing that to you, to someone I care so much for. The truth is that I didn't want to leave you, but it gets harder each time." The honesty in his eyes is heart stopping.

"I know what you mean," I whisper into his chest as he pulls me tighter against him. "I have no dream this will be a fairy tale with a fairy tale ending no matter how I'd like it to be. I just don't want to be treated like a second-class citizen. If you can do the things that we do with each other, you can trust me. I'm not out to wreck your life. I won't make a fuss. If you leave today and decide it's over, I'll be heartbroken, but I won't be that crazy person you are so afraid of. We both deserve better than that." I tell him firmly, again. These are things I have told him before, but I think he didn't bother to listen. I meant them. "I'm tired of not hearing from you for days or a week after one of our encounters. I get anxious and weepy. I just want to talk. If being like this," I run my hand down his chest and over his cock, "is too much, say so, we can stop and I'll be your friend. I don't want to completely ruin this and I'm afraid it's headed that way if it continues like this." I am in tears by the time I finish what I needed to say to him. Well, almost. The rest can wait, or better yet remain unspoken-forever if necessary.

He pulls me closer to him, tilts my chin up and kisses me fiercely. My arms pull him closer. He breaks the kiss and looks me directly in the eyes, "Love, I don't think you realize why I am here, let me explain. I started home earlier, got about half-way there and realized I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be here, with you. I tried to call you but you didn't answer. I wanted to make sure you were still here and that you were okay. I felt horrible for what I did. I've been miserable all day and I've taken it out on everyone. I chalked it up to not getting enough sleep. I was up and watched you most the night. I held you tight against me, memorizing how you felt. I smelled your hair so I could remember every time I get a waft of that aroma. Hell, I even took a pair of your sexy panties so I could have a reminder of how wonderful you smelled and tasted. I see that sad look in your eyes and you are thinking I was going to end this aren't you?" He asks and I shake my head yes and tears again fall from my eyes, "Love, I did those things to remind me until I saw you again. My problem is that I miss you so much, more that I should and more than I have any right to. I feel myself falling for you. That's good news and bad. You know my situation. I love my daughter. I stay there to try to work on things for her and her only. The wife continues to do what she always has. We rarely share a bed much less fuck. When we do, I close my eyes and picture you and I feel guilty, like I'm cheating on you." He kisses my cheek and pulls me tighter against him.

His hands move over my naked body and I moan, whispering his name. His lips meet mine and we are lost. We make love, hands moving lovingly over each other followed by kisses and playful nips and pinches. Eye to eye, he enters me with his hardness. We both moan and gasp in pleasure. I reach up and caress his jaw and run my thumb over his lips. He kisses my thumb and thrusts into me harder. My nails dig slightly into his back and I move them lightly down to his ass, scratching lightly with my nails as I go. Tears begin to flow from both our eyes as we cum. Tears representing love, pain, loss, heartache, and hope that someday it could be more.

We move to the shower and wash each other down after a hard, kinky session of fucking. My showers will never be the same. We decide we are hungry and he leaves to pick it up. I consider leaving then but I know I cannot, not yet. We spend the evening on the beach walking and talking, laughing and joking. He lets me take a couple selfies of us and I in turn promise they are just for me and only me. We make it back to the cottage in a tangle of arms and legs, tongues and clothes as we can't get skin to skin fast enough. We make love and fuck for hours. As the sun rises, I watch as he drifts off. I want to curl up next to him but I know that's dangerous for me too. I stay up and write out a note for him to find. I will make sure he knows about it before he gets home so he can get rid of it. It's time to be honest and I know that now.

Love,

I have so enjoyed the time we have spent together this weekend. You are so special to me and to my life. I treasure every moment we have had and will have in the future. I read between the lines of our talk earlier and I understand what must be done. I would like to always remain your friend. That is my only request. I can't see my life without you in it. I know you are choosing your wife and I understand that and don't take that personally. If that ever changes please let me know and we can see if things are still the same. I suspect they will be though. Before I close this note, I want to say one more thing, something I think you should know and something I need to tell you before we end this portion of what we are. I love you. I tried denying it but I cannot. It isn't something you need to worry over, I'll deal with it and be fine. I needed to tell you, it's been on the tip of my tongue for a long time and I am tired of holding back. I watch you sleep and memorize you and how you felt and how you made me feel. I will crawl back into bed with you and soak up the last moments we have and cherish them forever.

Love always and forever,

K

I fold the note and put it in his bag. I go back to be and cuddle up next to my Captain for whatever time I have left with him in this way.