The Charity Cruise Ch. 03: Preparation

"No," she said, her voice getting stronger. "You need to TELL me you understand. You need to TELL me that you COMPLETELY understand and that you still want this; that you still want us to travel down this path. I need you tell me that you understand where this path leads and it's a place you WANT me to go... US to go... because we're doing it together. This is OUR marriage. No matter what happens or what I do I'm always coming home to you when it's over and I NEED to know that you will always welcome me with open and supportive arms." Then her voice shrank a little and she finally looked away from me. "I need to know that you won't be ashamed of me; that you won't call me names or be judgmental; that you'll still love me like you do right now; as your wife, our children's mother and the woman you're happy to hold each night when we fall asleep together... every night for the rest of our life."

I knew what my wife needed at that moment, and I never felt stronger in providing it. I reached over to her, taking her left hand in my right; holding it tightly while I turned in my seat and caressed her beautiful face with my other hand. I waited until she looked up at me and our eyes met before I spoke. I made sure our eyes stayed locked onto and into each other until I finished what I had to say. "I love you," I said, soft but strong. "I love you completely and unconditionally and I want you to be happy in every way." I breathed and could see in her face as she gradually relaxed as she heard my words. "No matter where the path takes us... or doesn't... I'm proud of you for the strength you've already shown just in this conversation and the faith you have in our love. I will always accept you back into my arms and back into our bed and I will never judge you for anything you've done or will ever do as long as you never hide anything from me. As long as you answer what I ask and always come back to me, I will always be there for you. Now and forever."

Her right hand reached up and pressed over my left, holding my touch to her cheek as she closed her eyes and a small tear escaped her eye, streaming slowly down her cheek and onto my fingers as she held them there. For a moment she was motionless and then, eyes still closed, she began to nod her head. After another few moments she opened her eyes and looked into mine. "I can't make you any promises about what I will or won't do as far as letting go of my control or becoming 'that girl'," she said softly. "But I do promise you that I will always talk to you and let you know where I am in my head and my heart, and I will always trust in our love."

"That's all I can ask," I said back and leaned forward to kiss her. Our lips met and held for a moment, and I could feel our breath mixing as we both breathed. After another few moments had passed, I backed away from the kiss and smiled at my beautiful wife. "Now... let's go find you what you need for the charity cruise and enjoy our day together." She smiled a small smile, nodded in agreement and we got out.

A few steps away from the car, Dana turned to me and with a wicked smile said, "You know though... whether I ever let 'that girl' out with anyone else, I want to do it with you some time soon. I'm sorry I haven't ever done it before. If me acting that way turns you on, I want to do that for you... and I'll enjoy it the most if you take full advantage of the situation in every way."

I smiled back at her and said, "It would be my greatest pleasure."

Walking hand in hand we headed into the mall, both of us aware that we were here to buy her a dress to show her off to other men; to showcase her body most effectively; to make her look as sexy and attractive as was possible without her being undressed. The mix of an erotic reality following so closely on the heels of an emotional moment was electric.

- - - - - - - - - -

As we walked through the mall, having identified the couple of stores we wanted to make sure we visited, I did have one question on my mind and didn't think it would hurt to ask, even in public, given the nature of it. "So," I said with a slight smile in my voice, "why did all that come to light this morning? We've been discussing some of these topics for the better part of several weeks now. What happened to bring all this doubt and worry surging up today?"

Dana was quiet for a moment, considering her answer as she squeezed my hand -- possibly not even aware that she'd done so. "I think it was the dream," she said after a moment. "Before, all of our conversations were more hypothetical and just fun. While I enjoyed the talking and flirting and thoughts of possibilities, it wasn't out of control. It was still careful and limited, albeit outside the usual norms." She looked at me to see if I was following what she said. I nodded my understanding and she continued. "But the dream stirred up what I'd been so carefully keeping buried and with that reality, as much as there was the excitement, there was also all of the anxiety and fear and shame and..." Her voice trailed away but I knew where she was going.

"Okay," I said simply. "That explains it." She looked at me with curiosity in her eyes as if to ask, 'explains what?'. I continued. "It explains how we could be talking about a potential adventure for weeks and not have it be THAT big of a deal; just some fun talk and potential that benefited us at home. But then, seemingly all of a sudden, it's this huge, big deal that is causing you all kinds of emotional turmoil. I just wanted to understand what had happened and why."

About that same time, we came to the first store and went in. I let go of Dana's hand because it was FAR easier for her to shop and move through and around the displays without hanging onto me... or me onto her. On our shopping list was a new gown for her, some new stockings or hose for her, maybe a new pair of shoes and maybe some new undergarments. I doubted we'd find all of it in one store, and I was confident we wouldn't find anything in the first store we looked in.

I was right and we ended up taking a lunch break before shopping some more. Visiting the mall was an all-day affair, but in the end, it proved worth it and we found everything she was looking for. The dress she finally found and settled on was emerald green and full length. It missed dragging the floor by less than an inch if she wore the matching three-inch heeled shoes that we'd also bought. The dress was cut very low in the front, showing off a lot of her chest and prohibiting her from wearing a bra. The cut and structure was such that the dress itself provided breast support both up and together and presented her chest in a VERY delightful fashion. The shoulder straps were about an inch wide and went up over her shoulders, down her back and attached to the low-cut back of the dress just above either kidney. This dress wasn't cut as low in the back as the last one she'd worn out. It was high enough that her tattoo didn't show. From left to right across the back of the dress were two more straps -- one at breast/shoulder blade level and one a little bit lower. They were the same width as the shoulder straps and were slightly elastic, so they pulled the dress snug across the front of her. The dress had a slit on the left thigh that was high enough she originally didn't think she'd be able to wear thigh-high stockings with it.

After much searching and several visits to lingerie shops, we eventually agreed that thigh-highs with garters would be acceptable and actually add one hell of a sexy touch. When she tried everything on, we found that the stocking top was only about an inch... maybe two below the top of the slit and that the garter strap showed just that much. The overall effect was one of an enticing tease that called attention to her leg, stocking and garter without screaming, "SLUT!" She found a delightful pair of black silk and lace panties to wear under the dress and beneath the garter straps. In the back of my mind, I knew that meant the panties couldn't come off unless the garters were unhooked. I thought that might be inconvenient if she had to go to the ladies' room during the evening, but she dismissed it as only a minor concern.

We had dinner during the drive home and indulged ourselves. We had been eating so carefully for so long and exercising so much to improve our health and fitness, that we often denied ourselves foods that we both really enjoyed. We set aside that control for the evening, giving ourselves the much-needed reward of a meal we'd both have to do extra exercise to work off the next day.