All Comments on 'The Chaser Pt. 02'

As I read the rewrite, I noticed a few of the changes I had suggested were applied. The most prominent thing I noticed was again the overuse of that damn word "and" ! I had gleaned "so many" of them out of the story.

Yet, there again, big as daylight, the evil little word had replaced the more descriptive transitional words I had installed after removing the overly repetitive conjunctive, "and" !

Why ? I ask of you ! Why would you fall back into that rut ?

You have a good imagination ! Use it to explore less commonly used words of description, as well as words of direction for changes in sentences. You do not have to try to be impressive with large, flamboyant words, which the reader has to look up in a dictionary. Though such words can sometimes draw a reader, much deeper into the work you have authored !

Please note, This is not like a demand. That would be inappropriate. Being that you are the author, it is your prerogative to use whatever terms you wish to use. This is however a comment section, as such I am simply making a comment.

Great so far. Delicious characters and dialog. Good info on safe practices. Mor soon, please?

The plot thickens, and so does her cock! If you look far off into the distance, you can see a three way on the horizon just waiting to be unleashed. It should be hot as hell and we’ll worth waiting, watching, and hoping for. Excellent job on building this story.

Please continue