The Christmas Party

The cheating wife, the smirking asshole boss, and the often-clueless husband seems to be a staple of loving wives stories this is my take on the genre. Typically told from the husband point of view I decided to use the asshole boss as the narrator. I also wanted to write it out in one day without rewrites the same day I thought of the concept.

Note: this one is so over the top you need to add to the top, and then add some more, to go over it properly. A regular top just won't do.

Standard disclaimer: if you want to complain about the hackneyed unbelievable drivel I write, lack of character development, or inflated breast sizes, be my guest. Just know I won't care. I sometimes enjoy reading the commentators that criticize my writing but if you're going to, remember, I already called it drivel. If you can't top that don't bother. Why commentators insist on displaying their own stupidity for the world to see always baffles me. Let's see the plot sucks, the characters aren't believable, I write like I didn't graduate high school (I didn't by the way), I barely know a noun from a verb, etc. Read at your own risk.

And yes the rights to this drivel, such as it is, are reserved by me and any resemblance to any other real or fictional character is purely delusion on the readers part.

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Looking back, I think it was my arrogance that was my undoing. I was the new hot shot lawyer at Tanner, Bender, and Jones. The new golden boy, I was ten years out of Harvard and had been heavily recruited into the big times of corporate law in New York City by T, B, & J. When it comes to law corporate was where the big money was, and we handled some of the largest hedge fund companies on Wall Street. I was on the fast track for partnership.

I had a beautiful wife, Sharon, two small children, and a secretary, Traci, who I loved to bend over my desk. Her husband, Jason, was in the military and spent a lot of time on deployment. I hadn't met him, yet, but I knew he was home for a thirty day leave and would be coming to the corporate Christmas party that night. From what I knew he was an enlisted man, not even an officer, and this was my chance to show some dominance over cuckie boy. There was no reason for it, I didn't even know him, but I could never resist the chance to strut a little. Nothing overtly of course, especially with Sharon there, but simply by comparison. I had money, education, style, things he simply couldn't compete with. The affair was formal, and I doubt his rented tux would compete with my $5,000 Italian made one. I had a brief word with security just to make sure he didn't start any trouble.

I still remember his first appearance in the ballroom. Think of Brad Pitt, only handsomer and more buff. He was around 28 or 29 and wore a Marine Corps evening dress uniform that looked like it was grown on him as a second skin. It somehow made the rest of us, with our Italian designers and fashionable tux's, seem shabby. I don't think there was a woman under 50, and probably quite a few over 50, whose panties didn't suddenly get wet when he walked in and looked around. He seemed to have a way of seeing nothing and everything at a glance and I could tell he had made and acknowledged the discreet security.

Introductions were made and shaking his hand I realized that he might look like Brad Pitt from a distance but up close he looked more formidable. His face was young, but his eyes were clear, determined, and focused. Soon we were all seated together, the ballroom being set with tables for eight. Traci, being my secretary, sat at my table with my wife, another older lawyer, his secretary, and their respective spouses. Jason and Traci sat across from my wife and me.

"What is it you do in the Marines, Mr. Smith" my wife asked him.

"Call me Jason, please, Mrs. Brady" he said, "I lead a scout sniper squad. It is comprised of three scout sniper teams."

"What is a scout sniper team"?

"Basically, each team is comprised of three members" he replied, "the sniper, the spotter, and the backup. The sniper is the shooter, the spotter picks the targets, verifies the results, and backs up the sniper, and the backup covers their backs. So, while the sniper and spotter are focused on the enemy in front, he covers their backs and sides from attack."

He looked directly at me for the next part.

"In a way it is a lot like a marriage. Each team member depends on the other and it require a high level of trust. The sniper can't cover his own back, so he trusts the backup to do it. Both the sniper and spotter are trained scout snipers so can interchange as needed but it is really a three-man team and each needs to have complete trust in the other."

"So, you don't do the actual shooting then. The Snipers do it" my wife asked him?

"Not so much anymore. I used to be the lead sniper on a team, but I do that less and less now".

Traci and I exchanged glances. "You used to shoot people" she asked him?

"I do have 43 confirmed kills, yes" he said.

"You killed 43 people" she asked him.

"No dear" he replied. She looked relieved. "I said I have 43 confirmed kills. I probably killed five or ten times that number over the years. Typically, with the scout part of scout sniper you don't keep track of the men you killed. Once you get over one hundred you begin to lose count. I must say this salmon is really good. You don't seem to be eating dear, is everything ok"?

"It's just I didn't know you killed people. I mean I knew you were in the Marines, but I thought you were just a clerk or something".

"No dear, that's why I enlisted instead of taking a commission. I wanted to be able to qualify for scout sniper and they don't train officers for that".

I thought maybe I could regain some control here, so I chimed in.

"Don't you need a college degree to become an officer" I asked him?

He looked at me, kind of like I was a worm. "I have two degree's, one in Greek Classics and one in Stoic Philosophy. I will probably finish my PHD when this tour is over and go into teaching" he said?

"Really" I asked him, "where did you attend college"?

"Cambridge. Any fool can go to Harvard and Cambridge is probably the best Classics program in the world".

"Really, teaching isn't the most lucrative job out there. Sure, you wouldn't like to try something that makes a bit more money"?

He gave me that look again. "How much money does a person need? Besides my older brothers seem to have the make money bug and cover that part for me. You may know them, John, and James Taylor. Tri-J Hedge fund?"

"Your brothers own Tri-J? They are one of our biggest clients". I had a slight sinking feeling in my stomach. If it ever came out I was cheating on the brother of the owners of Tri-J my career was over.

"In a way. Tri-J stands for James, John, and Jason. When they wanted to start Tri-J we each pulled 500 million from our trust fund as seed money and pooled it. So technically we each own a third."

"But it is worth billions" I said to him.

Traci was looking at him googled eyed. "You have a $500 million dollar trust fund" she asked him.

He just looked at her and shook his head a little sadly. "You seem a bit disorientated tonight dear" he said, "I said I took $500 million out for their startup, although technically the trust owns the stock in Tri-J. I think there was about $400 million left at the time but now I don't really know it's worth. Probably two or three billion".

"So, we are billionaires" she asked him?

"I am, yes" he replied. "You, however, get nothing from the trust during the divorce so all you are really entitled to is based on my army pay".

"What divorce"?

"Why, the one I am filing for adultery. Did you really think I would allow you to have an affair with this dickwad over here" he said indicating me? "Both Sharon and I will be filing next week".

"I'm not having an affair" she said.

"Really. So those videos of him bending you over his desk and screwing you were what, some form of exercise?" He looked over at me. "I shared them with your wife she will be using them in her divorce as well".

I was rapidly losing control of the situation and needed to do something to regain it. "You can't use those videos. I don't care who you paid off the law firm is private property".

He just gave me that same damn smile again, more of a smirk really. "Of course, I can. Uncle John gave me his permission to video tape your office, so it is all legal and above board"?

"Uncle John"?

"Yes, John Tanner, the senior partner and namesake of Tanner, Bender, and Jones, is married to my father's baby sister Sylvia. He wasn't too happy with what you were doing on company time and company property. I think he is going to do his best to have you disbarred."

I saw him nod to someone off to the side and suddenly there was a security man on each side of me. I saw two others over on Traci's side. "If you will please come with us, sir" they said.

Jason looked a little sadly at Traci. "Go with these gentleman please dear. They have some papers for you both. And don't bother coming home I had the locks changed on the apartment".

We were escorted from the room to the lobby, where we were both served with divorce papers, and I had a restraining order placed on me. John Tanner wasn't able to have me disbarred but he did fire me and black ball me from getting a job in NYC again and I ended up chasing ambulances back in Kentucky. Sharon cleaned me out in the divorce, I think Jason paid for her lawyers and no one would touch my case, I ended up defending myself and they had me dead to rights. Child support was based on the average of my prior five years income, and I was now making a tenth of that. I think Traci ended up with her parents.