All Comments on 'The Christmas Party'

LMAO! I saw a photo of the Marine Corps dress uniform and it looks spiffy.

5

Couldn’t you have had him chasing ambulances in Carolina instead? 🤣

Nice twist

Too perfect, but I liked it a lot. 5*

Good one!

Good One.

Liked the change in perspective

Nice that a man and a military man was out ahead of the screwed up couple. By the by, the Marine Corps dress uniform are outstanding. The best of the services. Semper Fi

Mildly entertaining cliche.

Maybe it's a little redundant, but how do you write an LW story these days without it?

Pretty awesome! 5 Big Blazing Stars. I should have been a Marine. Thanks for the effort. Buster2U

Fun concept, and as you said, it was way over the top.

A smile a minute. Thanks.

Fuckin' A!

Nice change of perspective with the story being told from the asshole boss view.

A funny one. And well written.

James Bond times ten. D

OK, it was just a liiiiiitlle over the top, but too much fun, so I was forced to give it a 5. Just watch yourself next time or I might be forced to give the next one a 4.

So... she's married to a well-educated, Brad Pit looking billionaire, who also happens to be some kind of war hero,... and she doesn't know any of this?

...fair enough.

great story, funny bone well tickled

Just pure fun

Perfecto !!! The asshole lawyer got screwed, glued and tattooed.

10 out of 5*

He’s a Marine, but his soon to be ex-wife is entitled based on his Army pay?…

Not that bad for unbelievable drivel ! ;-))

As a quick BTB story it was good. It never ceases to amaze me that cheaters think that they will never get found out or caught.

3* Heh, Heh, Heh. So, why are you such an arrogant ass-hole in your disclaimer? That was a cute little story. Yeah, a little over the top. But, a fun read.

Maybe Traci should put a patch over that thing she pees out of, so assholes like Sharon's ex-husband don't' piss in her... Maybe Sharon should let Jason pee in her and give her kids siblings...

Lol, this must be Trope Tuesday! No tacos this week. 'Not bad.

Poopycock. As u said .it is so over the top it’s ridiculous! A billionaire army sniper. 😜 crazy.

Sorry a marine billionaire

Nicely done, it could have been longer,. Perhaps a second part? Jason sounds like quite the interesting character. A flawed hero. A lot can be done with that. Just a thought shared with a fellow scribe.

A short but always welcomed light BTB, among the countless annoying cuck tales flooding everyday this LW category. All good, but the awful useless opening: this platform is based on the authors writing and the readers feedback, positive or negative, so no need for that opening. Anyway, even though too much short, a full 5 stars is the rating.

Haha good story. Short and sweet……. Thanks for writing.

This should have been posted in the "Humor and Satire" section.

Would never happen in a million years, but loved it!!!!!

5/5. Half way through I was expecting bullets through High Rise windows. Would have liked this story to be longer. What enraged, jilted husband hasn't thought of snuffing the traitors.

A really fun read, no matter how far-fetched.

Only one itty bitty quibble in this otherwise really good story. Early on you stated categorically that Jason was a Marine, then he told Traci she was only entitled to his Army pay. Marines and Army are not the same organization. Still gave it 5* though.

(Yes, I am former Army. Lol)

Way over the top and really fun this was.

Even the cliche here is cliche.

LOVE this story, even though the improbability level is through the roof. However, I’m a firm believer in suspension of disbelief for a well written story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

When I first started reading, like others, I liked the change in POV, however, a little further on it simply became ridiculous. I was waiting for the guy to tear open his shirt and show everyone the big red S on his long underwear. He's a sniper in the Marines with hundreds of kills and a multibillionaire and his wife has no clue about any of it? He's kin to the owner of the company she works for and that never came up during family get togethers? That's stretching things way too far.

Great, clean and efficient.

Why do it? Why claim that this is such an over the top story, challenge the readers, and then proceed to write it? It's not 'drivel', but what's the point?

Stupid wife didn't know her husband that well.

At least she literally dodged a bullet.

/

I think I'm beginning to like you as a writer.

Your POV's of the snake/a*hole is quite refreshing.

At least it ain't cuckoldry.

Thanks TRYTSTYN

Didn't really like the story but loved what happened to him.

Sadly, "Over-the-top," actually passes for writing these days. In fact, this story represents the gold standard for the BTBAAC cabal. Well done, or perhaps, well, done, is in order.

Definitely over the top, but laughed all the way through! 5* for the smiles.

2 stars and yes, this trivial little story was way over the top - billionaire, graduate degree and a sniper - in the same paragraph - you have got to be kidding and the timing could not have been worse.

Having spent more than a decade in the military, I have seen and drank a few with the people who actually do that sort of thing (my own uncle included) and they never gave me the impression that they really liked doing that. It is just not talked about either, in the military, or in civilian life. PTSD figures prominently in their lives, just like me, who worked in a search and rescue helicopter squadron. Seeing friends and coworkers being put in black plastic body bags, is not really a topic of conversation at the dinner table - especially around this time of year.

So this story is just kind of flat on November 7, 2023 - sometimes RESPECT is DESERVED.

Actually, the husbands often AREN'T clueless. The usually warn the wife that the pussy hound is after her, and they either tell their husbands that they're imagining things, or that the wives can handle the PHs.

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"I also wanted to write it out in one day without rewrites the same day I thought of the concept." - Why?

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"this was my chance to show some dominance over cuckie boy." - How can he be a cuck if he presumably doesn't even know about it?

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No dramatic tension when the hero holds all the cards.

Way to bitch slap that punk lawyer. Made me laugh. 5 stars. DMW aka Sumnut96

He stated he was arrogant and I love he got fucked over. Oh. the story was very well constructed and I especially liked the fed add the Marine rolled under the asshole”s table. Bomb

Over-the-top, indeed. But even so. actually a lot more realistic than many tales here. But it was a refreshing and unique angle, and frankly a fun short read... the perfect length for this!! Loved it.

Yep that was piled on. I always figured guys like that had so many hidden resources that even if you caught them, they'd never have to work a day in their lives. Most would simply disappear with all the money to a nation with no extradition and live happily ever after.

one of the best,

A FEW GOOD MEN is all that is needed.

Yeppers, that was way over the top what with all the riches and highly placed relatives. But damned if I didn't like it!! Just loved his response to Traci's question "we're rich?".

Interesting when a wannabe wolf meets a true predator.

Was about to say that wouldn't happe... then. Tom, you dumbass.

Well played.

Another divorce strategy and technique story, with almost no human element. And also little plausibility.

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Do you know who military snipers kill? Whomever they are ordered to kill. Of course there is some claimed justification, but the guy pulling the trigger doesn't get to verify the person he/she is killing is in fact worthy of death. A sniper working in a battle zone against an armed enemy is a legitimate, really great. A sniper that kills unarmed civilians on command is an assassin, and maybe a murderer.

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Which begs the question: Why would someone independently wealthy and incredible intelligent choose to be a military assassin? And more to the story, how could such a perceptive intuitive and discerning person end up married to a desk top office slut? And how could this guy be so wonderful and wealthy, but his whore wife has no inkling, no hint of who and what her husband is? Yeah, that's the Human Element that too many authors can't or won't engage in their LW stories. Lots of details about financial arrangements, spy cameras, phone tapping software, and divorce court rape. But any explanation or exploration about the human beings, their psyche, motives, weaknesses, an analysis of their complete disrespect for themselves and their marriages: NADA, nothing.

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So I guess you write about what you know. Like snipers, and billionaires. I'm sure you know All about those things. People? Not so much. And it shows. Thanks for the effort.

This was a hugely enjoyable read provided I kept my tongue planted firmly in my cheek!

He’s very fortunate to be alive to chase ambulances in Kentucky. Harvard to Harlan is a great career arc.

Just didn’t work from the Asshole’s POV. Good idea, but…

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2 **

Excellent good guy knew and won. Stupid wife and boss sorted. Shirt and to the point. Enjoyed.

Best story I've read for a long while. Keep writing.

One miss "on my army pay"... He is a Marine Scout Sniper an elite!

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5.5****** Hooyah, Salutes.... xFTGC V-Vet

I enjoyed this a lot! To get into the head of a man like the boss only to see him undone by a better man was fun. The wife is worthless.

It's rather odd that the wife was completely clueless about her husband, or the fact that her hubbie's uncle was one of the senior partners where she worked. If she knew so little of her hubbie, it's no wonder she cheated - they didn't have much of a marriage to begin with!

Still, despite that plot hole, good story. 5*

Not that you care, and I care even less (LOL!), but I loved the succinct, complex plot lines intertwined driving home the conclusion. 4.5*

Nixrox

This is a cartoon not a serious effort but I understand your comments. More marvel comics than

PTSD is serious and often lasts for life. I am old enough that my father and my friends fathers were in WWII and many of them were not the same 20 years later. Seen grown men cry themselves to sleep while we sat in another room and pretended not to hear it.

Every day I watch my wife of 40 years slowly die from Parkinson’s. She has Parkinson’s dementia and is in a wheelchair. She’s only 58 and you tell me what watching that does to a person. Sometimes she forgets who I am. Some days she can’t work the TV remote. A year ago she wasn’t like this a year from now she probably won’t know who I am. Sometimes I wish it was me and not her, but then I wouldn’t want her to suffer watching me go through it.

So I write silly cartoons to keep me distracted. I get enough of the human element 23 hours a day I don’t need to live it in stories as well

We all live in our own private hells and suffer from our own demons. I don’t complain because many have it worse than me. But I don’t begrudge myself my own cheap amusements either. I hope this makes sense to you

Jerk

Not sure if my answer to nixrox said what I wanted so try this. If you want love and sympathy buy a dog.

I’ve been through enough crap in my life to wake up screaming if someone startles me. You don’t need to serve in the army to get PTSD.

I state up front I write drivel not good literature. If you’re looking for something good try Tolstoy. I prefer the classics myself, Shakespeare, Cicero, Thucydides. The Bible can get you through a long night but literotica not so much.

If you’re looking for an apology or for me to feel bad don’t know you not happening don’t care. Sorry but that’s the truth. I can mouth platitudes but at the end of the day they don’t mean squat.

And as for the date literotica picks it. I submitted this a week ago they publish when they want to

Enjoyable read. Yep, there are a few holes in this story but the result was pretty good.

Well done.

Over the top? Yes! Unrealistic? Yes! An enjoyable read? Definitely yes! Five stars! Please keep writing.

So giving this 1* for the dumb trope of the husband being secretly rich but not telling his wife. If he suspected her of being a golddigger, then why did he marry her? If he didn't, withholding that kind of secret is a pretty terrible thing to bring into a marriage where it's supposed to be a partnership.

Definitely over the top but this story works. ⁵ stars.

Nice plot twist

Over the top, indeed, but fun.

I am sorry for your losses, author, the current ones and those yet to come. I have some understanding because my situation is similar to yours in some respects. Parkinson's is a vile, horrible disease. If your verbal cartoons help you cope, I'm glad!

I’m not a big fan of snipers. They often take out non combatants to inflate their kill numbers. I didn’t even bother to finish reading this drivel. Two stars.

Excellent drivel. Much appreciated. Would have been happy to give five stars for the preamble alone.

Hilarious. 5* all the way.

Just so love these BTB and the asshole stories Well done (jaybee186)

Well done, Semper FI.

Excellent. Over the top and a great read- thank you.

I met a young man with around 30 confirmed kills. He was a different breed. He didn't talk much. Even his own family could barely get him to converse. But he was polite enough. He was only like 24 too. Have no idea if he's got more now. He definitely was changed by his experiences.

Excellent over the top btb tale. 5* :)

Five stars—-love seeing an Alpha get busted down to an Omega!!!

Curious part is how a superman like Jason ended up marrying a complete dud like Traci. MC probably did him a favour by blowing up the marriage.

If you are going to go over the top, go big 😊

Billions of dollars. Really over the top.

It doesn't get much better than this. 5 stars from Xluckylee

I LOVE IT WHEN THE ASSHOLES IN THESE STORIES HAVE A PLAN AND THEY SEEM TO NEVER UNDERSTAND THE HUSBANDS ARE NOT ALL DUMBSHITS! 5 STARS. Could have used a little action and maybe some skullduggery but I guess you can't have everything's.

I would have liked for this to have run on abit. One break in continuity though. Jason said that he and Sharon were filing for divorce the next week. But, then it was indicated that Traci and "Dickwad" were served that night.

here come santa claws

5 star

I am sorry for your losses, author, the current ones and those yet to come. I have some understanding because my situation is similar to yours in some respects. Parkinson's is a vile, horrible disease. If your verbal cartoons help you cope, I'm glad!"

Thank you. Things happen you just deal with it

As a completely side note I had a brother-in-law that killed people. He wasn't in the army he actually worked for the Italians trying to take over Boston back in the 1970's and early 80's. He told me about a few of them. Did killing people or talking about it bother him? Not in the slightest any more than killing a spider would you or I. The few times I talked to him was in the visiting room of a maximum security facility. When he got out we stayed away form him

Another one I met killed at least 20 people maybe twice that. I married a neighborhood girl so I had to go and shake his hand, pay my respects, before the marriage. He seemed nice, gave me a free beer, wished us luck. Fifteen years later we saw him on America's Most Wanted

Great story!!!

Different and very well written. I was entertain for brief moment

🙊🙉🙈💨🫣

TRYTSTYN I loved this story! I loved that your story was about one our true American Hero's US Marine's and their Braver than Brave Snipers. Years ago I met a man that went on LRRP by himself as well. Don't kid yourself, our Country is only as free as it is because of our brave Veterans. Unfortunately, I doubt that will remain free much longer with so much cheating and corruption in D.C. Our Country has the same circumstances that ancient Rome had that sunk them. 100 Stars Buster2U

Pretty entertaining tale. However, all the misplaced question marks break up the flow of reading. When you show a question, always place the question mark at the end of the actual question, not the continued statement, like this:

(Not) "Are you going home, he said?"(Instead) "Are you going home?" he said..

Oh, to continue, Four stars.

JPB