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"Yeah, I hope so," Jane replied.
Holding open the door for the teen, Lilly continued, "You've been studying all week; as long as you stay out of your head, you should be fine." She rubbed Jane's back, hoping her words wouldn't be misconstrued and add to the stress. Truthfully, she had ample faith in her girlfriend's capabilities. The way Jane could bounce back in school so fast after her accident was more than enough proof of this.
However, Lilly also knew that the teen had a tendency to overwork herself and, in turn, begin to spiral. The last week had been a long one, Jane spending most of it preparing for her midterm while Lilly spent her time policing her girlfriend. Unfortunately, it was a complicated balance as she didn't want to be responsible for Jane failing. However, letting her return to the unhealthy work ethic she had post-accident also wasn't an option.
Mulling it over as they walked, Lilly felt a tinge of guilt for her controlling nature. "Jane?" she nervously asked, biting her lip, "I didn't, you know... stop you from studying, right? I just know that sometimes I may have been a bit of a distraction, or I stopped you because I was worried about you pushing yourself. I... I just don't want to be responsible for you doing badly."
"It's OK; I feel good," Jane smiled, trying to reassure her girlfriend, "And if I do bad then... that's my fault, not yours. You're just trying to do what I sometimes can't and remind me to take things slow."
"OK, good," Lilly still wasn't convinced, although she did feel better. Trying not to think about it anymore, she followed Jane up the stone stones to the dining hall and went inside. It still being early, they could grab their trays and order food without having to wait.
Learning that Lilly was feeling bad about her limitations on the teen studying, Jane felt a little worse about going behind her back and waking up early to review her notes. Rather than say anything now, however, Jane decided to keep it to herself. After all, she was an adult capable of making her own decisions and bringing it up now just seemed like a good way to start a fight rather than putting feelings at ease.
"Ooh, they have pancakes," Lilly's voice broke the teen out of her distracted state.
"Huh?"
"Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself," Lilly replied, "I haven't seen pancakes here before." Then, grabbing the tongs adjacent to the chafing dish, she staked three of the thick cakes onto her plate. "Do you want any?" she asked, turning to find the syrup after Jane shook her head.
"I'm going to go over by the baked goods; I think I saw some breakfast sandwiches there," the teen explained, picking up her tray, "Go pay and find us a table; I'll meet you out there."
"OK, sounds good."
Watching Lilly get in line for the cash register, Jane walked in the opposite direction to where more pre-made food was laid out for the taking. Resting her tray on the counter, she grabbed the first foil-wrapped sandwich available and continued on towards the coffee. Also self-serve, she filled up a large paper cup before pouring in cream and sugar and adding a cap.
Looking down at her tray, Jane realized it was quite sparse though she didn't feel up to eat anymore. Her stomach was iffy as it was -- whether from nerves or eating earlier than usual, she didn't know. Still, not eating before a midterm was a sure-fire way to do poorly, and Jane wasn't going to risk failure. So, hoping the sandwich would be enough, she made her way over to the register.
"Good morning," the woman running the cash register smiled quickly before typing the teen's order into her computer.
"Morning," Jane replied quietly, looking around as she waited, finding Lilly seated near the corner of the room.
"Are you paying with a meal plan or money?"
"Meal plan," Jane flashed her student card, waiting for the cashier to type in another code before she was able to scan the card. With the screen displaying a successful transaction, she tucked her student card back into her pocket and picked up her tray of food.
"Have a good day," the cashier smiled again.
Already heading towards her girlfriend, Jane called over her shoulder, "Yeah, you too." She avoided the student walking towards her and set her food on the table, sitting across from Lilly. "How are the pancakes?" she asked, watching her girlfriend shovel a big forkful into her mouth.
Shrugging, Lilly swallowed, "OK, but they're definitely from a box. Still, I'll take pancakes whenever I can get them." Cutting off a piece with her fork, she took another bite, "And what did you get?" she mumbled, mouth full.
"Breakfast sandwich," she briefly held it up before peeling off the sticker and removing the foil encompassing it. Revealing the sausage patty, fried egg, and a cheese slice on an English muffin inside, Jane took a bite, deciding that it was just OK. As she ate, her mind drifted back to her imminent midterm.
"Who is the third party in a traditional marketing chain?"
"What?"
"I don't know; you've been staring at the wall for literally the past..." Lilly looked at her phone, "Eight minutes. I thought I would ask you one of your marketing questions to snap you out of whatever it was you were thinking about."
Looking down at the table, Jane realized that her girlfriend's plate was now empty. More surprisingly, her breakfast sandwich was gone, the teen seemingly having finished it without realizing. "Oh... I didn't realize so much time had passed," she replied truthfully, "And what did you ask? Something about a traditional marking chain?" her tone changed, "That wasn't even on my cue cards."
"Yeah, I couldn't remember any questions, so I made one up," Lilly smiled.
"OK, well, what you said is gibberish."
Lilly shrugged, "It worked to distract you, didn't it?"
"I guess..." Jane confirmed the time on her phone, "It's getting close to the start of my midterm; I should probably get going." Picking up her tray, she crossed the room and dumped its contents into the garbage -- careful to keep her still half-full coffee cup -- before setting the tray on top of the trashcan. Returning to their table, she grabbed her backpack, "OK, well, I'll see you back at the room."
"What do you mean? I'm going to walk you to the testing room," Lilly replied, picking up her own bag.
"I thought you had chemistry."
"Not for another twenty minutes. Besides, did you seriously think I was going to let you walk over there alone? I want to make sure you're still good before the midterm starts."
Following Lilly out of the building, Jane quickly took the lead as she directed them where to go. She thought about arguing that Lilly should prioritize her own classes, but the teen knew it was a lost cause. So instead, she focussed on the fact that her girlfriend was willing to take time out of her day to make sure she was OK; it felt nice.
Fortunately for both of them, the professor's office where the midterm would be taking place wasn't far from the dining hall. So, in only a few minutes, they were passing through the commerce building's lobby and getting into the elevator. "Which floor do you want?" Lilly asked.
"Third," Jane replied, though she pressed the button herself.
Holding her girlfriend's hand, Lilly gave it a quick squeeze, "So, still feeling good?"
"A little more nervous now, but still fine," Jane replied, watching as the number beside the elevator door switched from 2 to 3, the doors opening shortly afterward. Stepping out, she led her girlfriend down the hall, stopping once she reached the office of her professor. "OK, this is it; thanks for walking me here," she hugged Lilly.
"There's still five minutes until you can go in; do you want me to stay?"
"No, I think I'm good," Jane sighed, "Besides, your lecture is starting soon, and you still have to go across campus."
"I can miss the beginning of class if you need me to."
"Don't put my education before yours," Jane gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips, "Now go to class."
"OK," Lilly relented, "But come back to the room right when you're done; I think we should celebrate. Y'know, have a little fun?" She wrapped her arms around the teen, giving Jane's butt a quick but firm squeeze."
"Just go already," Jane grinned, "My professor can probably hear you. The last thing I need is her walking out to see you groping me."
"Is she cute?" Lilly whispered in the teen's ear.
"Go. To. Class," Jane pried the girl's hands off her butt before pushing her away.
Sneaking one last kiss, Lilly finally accepted her girlfriend's advice and began to leave, "OK, love you."
"Love you too," Jane replied, turning her attention back to the door once Lilly rounded the corner. Her palms were slightly sweaty now as she mentally prepared for the imminent test. Taking her cue cards out to run through them one last time before starting was tempting, but she knew there wasn't enough time. Instead, she tried her best to run through some content in her head, answering the questions she could remember.
However, as she suspected, there was little she could do before her professor opened the door to her office, indicating the midterm was about to begin. "Hello Jane," the woman stepped out, "Are you ready to go?"
"Hello, Dr. Patel. Yes, I am," Jane struggled to make direct eye contact, her nerves getting the better of her.
"Would you like to go to the washroom or maybe get a drink of water before you start? There's a fountain just down the hall."
"No, thank you; I'm good."
"OK, without further ado," Dr. Patel stepped out of the way, standing against the open door as she gestured for Jane to go inside, "After you."
Sheepishly walking inside, Jane set her bag at the side of the small room, grabbing out a pencil and a couple of pens before taking a seat at the available desk. What she assumed to be the midterm was laying upside down in its center, a separate page for multiple choice answers placed on top. Setting her writing instruments of choice beside it, Jane waited for the professor to close the door and give further instruction.
"So, to keep things fair, you will have ninety minutes to complete the exam just like everyone else in the class," Dr. Patel explained, "I'll start the time when you flip over the page in front of you. OK?"
"Yeah."
"Great, if you have any questions during the exam period or you need to leave the room for whatever reason, just let me know. I'll be over here doing some other work but don't be afraid to interrupt. Oh, and make sure your name and ID are correct and match on both the multiple-choice and short-answer sections; it's always a nightmare trying to figure which test belongs to which student otherwise." Giving one last reassuring head nod, Dr. Patel took a seat at her desk situated a few feet from the teen.
Taking a deep breath, Jane flipped over her midterm. Carefully filling in her name and student ID as instructed, she turned the title page over and read the first multiple-choice question. It was easy enough, and she knew the answer without looking at the options, but she read them all to be sure before bubbling in the letter 'A' on the answer sheet.
The next few questions went about the same, some more difficult than others though Jane felt relatively confident with her answers. However, when it came time to flip the page, her speed rapidly decreased as the content became more difficult. The questions were less obvious, and the teen found herself struggling to find the correct option of the five listed answers. As she progressed, more answers were left blank, Jane planning on coming back to them at the end.
When she eventually ran out of multiple-choice questions, she decided to move on to the short answer section and return to the unanswered questions at the end. After all, the second half of the midterm was weighted significantly heavier than the first. With over thirty minutes having already passed, it seemed wise to spend most of her remaining time on the short answers.
And, writing as fast as she was, this section felt like it passed even faster than the first. Looking up, she found her eyes meeting Dr. Patel, the professor giving her a warm smile before returning to her work. What drew Jane's attention more, however, was the clock hanging above the woman's head. Despite how fast it felt like she was working, the teen realized there were only twenty minutes left.
With the one long answer and all the multiple-choice questions she skipped still remaining, Jane began to panic. She now began writing as fast as possible, filling up the page she was given for the essay-style question at the end of the exam. With her hand cramping, quantity became more of a focus than quality as she just wanted to get all her ideas on the page.
"Jane?" Dr. Patel's voice broke the teen out of her rapid writing momentarily, "Just wanted to let you know you have five minutes left."
"Oh, OK. Thanks," she replied, trying to hide the panic in her voice. Waiting for Dr. Patel to look down once more, Jane's hand returned to her page. Attempting to wrap up her mess of a response in one sentence, she had to accept that the long-answer question was finished before flipping the midterm back to its beginning. Unfortunately, it seemed time didn't help matters as she was still unable to answer the first of seven multiple-choice questions left blank.
"One more minute Jane."
Accepting she was out of options, the teen frantically bubbled in the letters on the answer sheet at random, hoping that she would get lucky on at least one of them. After spending so long studying, she was beyond frustrated that it had come to this. But with her professor now hovering over her shoulder, Jane had to stop writing. Straightening out the papers, she handed them to Dr. Patel and began gathering her supplies.
"Thank you very much; I hope that went well," Dr. Patel smiled, walking back to her desk, "I'm technically not supposed to do this, but if you want to see your mark for the multiple-choice section, you can stick around for a couple of minutes. I just have to feed it through a machine, and it will give you your grade."
"Uhm," Jane zipped up her backpack, pausing to consider whether or not she wanted her mark so soon. After all, she had guessed on a significant number of questions, and a bad grade was not something she was mentally prepared for.
"You don't have to if you don't want to; I should have your final midterm mark posted online within a couple of hours anyway," Dr. Patel explained as she fed the teen's answer sheet into a scanner.
Biting her bottom lip, Jane made a decision, "No, I... I'll wait." Putting on her backpack, she walked over to the woman's desk and watched as her paper was ejected slowly from the machine. With it dropping into the tray, she waited as Dr. Patel began typing on her computer before turning the screen to face Jane.
"Ok?" she asked, turning the screen back around following a nod from the teen, "Well, as I said, I'll have your full mark posted in an hour or so. Unfortunately, there is no machine to read all the long answers; that would save me a lot of time," she chuckled.
With nothing left to say, Jane stuffed her hands in her pockets and left the office. Walking down the hallway at a faster pace than normal, she soon found herself in the elevator. Pressing the button for the first floor, she watched the doors close before burying her face in her hands. 63%. It was the lowest mark she had gotten ever gotten spanning her entire education up until that point.
Upon arriving in the lobby, she wasted no time getting outside. Rather than going back to the dorm as promised, Jane walked in the opposite direction. She didn't know where she was going, but facing Lilly right now was out of the question. So, despite not going anywhere specific, the teen was soon standing in front of the library; somewhere quiet where she could hopefully make sense of her situation.
Noticing that the coffee shop seemed relatively quiet from a look through the window, Jane went inside and ordered. She didn't want or need the coffee, having just finished one a few hours earlier, but she did need the distraction. Playing with the cup as she took a seat at a table in the corner, Jane tried to busy her mind, although it inevitably went back to her mark.
After all the time and effort she put into studying the past week, to get such a low mark was a blow to the chest. Jane struggled to figure out where she went wrong. Guessing the answers to seven of the questions didn't help, of course, but it still didn't make sense when doing the math in her head. A 63% meant that she got four additional questions wrong, assuming none of the seven were correct. Learning that made it even worse; she couldn't just blame a lack of time anymore.
Watching the commotion caused by a large wave of students entering the shop becoming too mentally taxing, Jane rested her head on the table. She felt stupid and confused and disappointed, but not angry or sad. A part of her wished that there was anger, that she could be mad and blame herself for the errors. Strangely, the teen felt like that would make things easier.
Instead, she just wallowed in her newfound lack of self-worth. This was only making Jane feel worse, but she decided that this was deserved after having let not only herself but Lilly down too. The feeling was oppressive and, in many ways, similar to how she was after her hospitalization. Less severe, sure, but still shameful and overbearing nonetheless.
"Hey Jane, how's it going?"
The teen was startled to hear the voice, looking up to find Maggie now sitting across from her once her eyes adjusted to the light, sipping a coffee of her own. "Why are you here?" Jane asked, confused.
"Lilly was worried that you didn't come back after your midterm; she asked me to look for you," Maggie explained.
"Did you tell her where I am?" Jane looked to the door, worried that she would have to confront her girlfriend.
"I told her that I found you, not where though," Maggie put the girl's fear at ease, "I let her know that I would talk to you a bit, calm you down if needed. So, tough test?"
"I don't know... I guess."
"Yeah, I thought it was hard too. Did you get your mark back?"
Nervously picking at her nails, Jane contemplated whether or not she should share her grade, "Only on the multiple-choice section. She said that the full marks would be posted later this afternoon."
"And? How did you do?" Maggie asked, swirling her coffee cup.
"Bad," the teen paused, "62."
"Based on your reaction, I'm going to assume that you're not happy with it? But, I mean, it's really not that bad of a mark; you still passed."
Jane wanted to accept the girl's comforting words but struggled to do so, "It's the worst mark I've ever gotten..."
"Wait, really?" Maggie asked, stunned, "Like even in high school?"
"Yeah..."
"Holy shit, you're smart as hell. I failed like two classes in high school. Trust me, 62% is not bad," she took a swig of her coffee, "I don't know, though; I am like super dumb."
"You're not dumb," Jane chuckled, her mood improving slightly.
"Besides," Maggie continued, "That's only the multiple-choice section, right? That's worth the least amount on the entire midterm. Do you think she posted the full marks yet?" she said, more to herself than Jane.
"I don't know," the teen shrugged, "Maybe." The thought of checking made her stomach turn. The fact that she only had her multiple-choice mark softened the blow slightly; seeing her final grade would remove this protective barrier. "Watch me get worse than 62% overall," Jane sighed, running a hand through her hair.
"Yeah, right," Maggie scoffed, pulling out her phone, "I'm going to check."
Jane waited in the tense moment as her companion pulled up the webpage and signed into her school account before moving to the virtual classroom for their marketing class. Embarrassed, she tried to act calm and collected in front of Maggie, but she could still feel her hands shaking under the table. Jane knew that if she wasn't careful, she was bound to have an attack. But, of course, knowing this didn't change the fact that she had no control over her nerves or their subsequent effects.
