All Comments on 'The Corruption of the Muse Pt. 01'

Don't bother with the other nine parts. No one wants to read shit, especially shit written in present tense.

Never continue. That barely qualifies as a story and for a supposed epic it was an awful start. Plus which you're in the wrong category.

You need an editor

Never read anything by you before and won't again, do you have such contempt for the readers on this site that you break it up in to miniscule 'chapters'? 1* Won't finish it.

Stop there don't continue this train wreck. If you must continue put your stories in the fetish category cuckolding is a fetish and there is clearly a category for that fetish.

Seems like an attempt to write something artistic and profound, but without any meat. I was both bored and lost by the 2nd paragraph. Who are these people? Hopefully future installments will improve.

Words of advice to new LW writers (whether it's your first Lit story or just first LW). DON'T start off with a ten chapter story, especially with chapter 1 not even a full page.

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Write a complete story, 2-4 pages, with three being the sweet spot.

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Make it a traditional "Loving Wives" story, i.e. a wife does something to put her marriage at risk. It doesn't have to be a huge marriage-ending thing. It can just be an idea, like the various iterations of, "Honey, we have to talk."

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It doesn't have to be BTB, it can even be a reconciliation, just don't make it a RAAC (Reconciliation At Any/All Cost), and don't make her offense something that any normal couple could come back from.

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This will help you avoid turning off readers before they even get to know you, let them get to know you, maybe point out some mistakes that will help you in future stories. Once you've established yourself, you can spread your wings, dip your toes in themes that might not be so popular.

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TraLaLa, this is just friendly advice, I'm not trying to be the boss of Lit, so spare me the digs.

Ignore the haters!!! Not a bad start, keep going and let this woman explore her depravity!!!!

Considering it's your first story I didn't expect much and received even less. My gosh, you write like a lost forlorn teen hiding in the basement masturbating into your mother's used panties. This was beyond bad, it was horrible. The attempt at a present tense scenario was a complete flop. You had one chance to make a good impression Bucko. Judging by the other comments I'd say you fucked that up. Oh, and don't bother with more, this was bad enough. You're simply the next writer that I'll forever ignore.

Good start bud, keep it up. This has the makings of a good story...

Meh...not much here...can already guess. She goes to the class...ends up fucking the stranger in a torrid love affair. Destroys her marriage to a man she loves. Instead of talking to him about not taking her for granted and rekindling their love? Nope. Instead she just commits adultery. Has a long affair. Cuckolds her husband.

I'm sure it'll turn into one of those stories where he ends up liking it. Encouraging her to fuck other men. Likes sloppy seconds and eating her diseased hole after another man uses it.

She'll end up pregnant from someone else. With a nasty STD or two.

Just do us a favor and stop writing.

Rule #1 for a newbie...NEVER break your first story into parts. It's not going to end well for you.

Not sure!

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Not enough here to make a judgement on.

I see this retread already bought a ticket to Cucksville.

Next up for him...the conductor yells "ALL ABOARD!!!" and the train rolls on.

Don't let all the vitriol from the anonymous commenters dissuade you. For me, you have the makings of a great tale. I agree with sbrooks that you should make each chapter longer as the rhythm of the read gets interrupted too soon. Hopefully you have the other chapters "in the can" as it is disturbing to wait weeks if not months for follow on chapters once you get the reader hooked.

Perhaps the author is attempting, or emulating, a stream-of-consciousness style. If so, he or she ought to give up any attempt at punctuation and just let it all flow together, slipping in an occasional character without introduction and an action without prior cause.

I like the story and it has potential. Looking forward to the upcoming installments. Only beef I have is, the author needs to proof-read. First her husband's name is James. Then suddenly its Mark, then back to James. Later, the stranger is Louie. Then its Lenny.

!! EXCITING..!!

Just started to read this series you have in mind. Given some/many comments, encourage you to stay with this piece no matter the troubles you are experiencing with writing and the negative comments, many of which are shallow and inane — part/parcel of the category. You promise more to come, but I could not help but note stark similarities between the start/first paragraph: “He [James] rolls off, spent, satisfied while she just smiles politely, … he is oblivious to what has just transpired as he makes his way to the bathroom” and the closing lines of this piece: “Bella looked up to see James laid on top of her … it dissolved away into one last grunt as James emptied his balls into her, he rolled off and stumbled into the bathroom.” Absolutely perfect “bookends” to this relationship. Beautiful — surely you planned that. So, despite some shortcomings, I look forward to next piece. Liked it, I think.