All Comments on 'The Cruise Pt. 01'

Good beginning!

4

Looking forward to chapter two !

We loved it. Keep going!

It was obvious that the husband would have the opportunity to share the friend. But still a good story.

Great part 2 soon please!

Either some careless errors, or a Welch pattern of speech I haven’t seen before! Emma is very unusual, but the ‘blunt’ expression was a good warning! Not sure who the Loving Wife will end up being, especially since Sweetie1 has un-nominated herself!

So you are an alcoholic

Thanks for the feedback all. It’s written in a British voice so there may be some colloquial differences. Still at least I wasn’t picked up for using insufficient transient verbs as I was in part 2! Glad many of you are enjoying it and it’s now at over 13,000 views.

Their marriage is in trouble - you've set the stage that the whole trip was a setup by Jenny, but she isn't being honest with her husband. 4*

I can understand this. The incels who inhabit this area, can not and do not.

A great tease for part 2!

I really like this, nice paced good descriptions characters are believable