All Comments on 'The Cuckoo Man - Beginning'

Good first effort. Minor issues with spelling but don't let that get you down.

It's nice to have cuckolding be actual cuckolding from the bull's point of view.

Be sure to read your story out loud to yourself before declaring it done - it will save you headaches. You also switched between present and past tense quite frequently which can be distracting.

However, I love the premise and the way it plays out. I love the idea of everyone being happy at the end of this.

Great job! Keep it up.

As the others have said. Good premise. Yes, read it out loud. Slowly. Several times once you get the story out of your head. Watch for words such as form, from, feel and fell. They, amongst others, will trip up the best of writers. As will tense. Keep this in mind as you edit. If you have someone to read it and offer insight all the better. Look into the Grammerly program. Look through literotica’s help for authors section. As for not introducing His name I suppose there are discussions amongst authors as to the why’s and why nots.

You state in paragraph 48 I want to make a hot wife pregnant with my kid, to ruin a marriage. Did you mean, Not ruin a marriage?

I see that you now have 13 stories out there. I will have to see how the Warbler is doing.

A new fan