All Comments on 'The Cursed Hottest Girl of School Ch. 01'

Way to short and too vague to be Chapter 1

Ouch, the writer needed an editor to not only help with the obvious sagging errors, "big boobs, they were trying to break out of red skirt" to the more structural mistakes. There is no physical description of the main character near the start of the story - which is what the reader needs to get a mental picture of the character. Indeed there is no definite mention of what gender the main character is (straight male or lesbian) until the mention of boxers and pulling their length out of ..... The characters name does not give any hint as to gender as the name is an anagram of Brianna.

There is no backstory to the main charactet. Why is it their first day?

Why do they not know any other students there?

How come no-body warned the new student about the vampire?

The main idea of the story has promise, but the writing style needs some practice.

Thanks for your feed back, truth to be told, this wasn't an originally planned story, Alpha's mate and sex slave which is now available here, is the original wolf female alpha and human college nerd love and smut story. This one was thought of at the last moment to kick off literotica journey as the wolf story was not in a state to be uploaded due to some technical problems. I hope you guys like the wolf story which is from a male pov and navigates his passion for a hot female alpha and her cultist pack

Thanks