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Click here"You dare challenge me?" said Avide towering over her and giving the look that invited challenge. Grosseins immediately looked away.
"Bien run!" shouted Gaine.
He stepped in front of Gaine. "Not without you."
Avide sighed and strode towards them. "It doesn't have to be like this."
Bien let out a yell as he threw his pants at her.
"You tiny fool!" shouted Avide, snatching the oncoming pants. There was a cracking sound as she caught them. A nearly invisible cloud of dust burst forth from the pants and into Avide's face. "What is this?! It burns!" She doubled over, clutching her eyes. "Cinnamon?!"
Gaine grabbed Bien, holding him under her arm, and kicked open the large double doors. Wind blew into the drinking hall, toppling plates and turning over cups. She ran into the freezing cold, past her house, past the edge of the village, and continued running.
The biting cold stung her face and burned her exposed skin. After several minutes of running flat out in the cold, she stopped and let Bien down.
"G-g-get dressed," she said through chattering teeth while looking back. No one appeared to be following them, at least for now.
The two quickly put on whatever clothing they gathered.
"What do we do now?" yelled Bien over the howling wind.
Gaine looked around the open fields. "I- I don't know." She knelt down to Bien's level and pressed her forehead to his. "For now, we keep running. Together." She looked around and spotted a distant forest to the northeast. "There," she said, pointing. "Hop on my back and hold on."
"Do you think they'll come after us?" asked Bien as he hopped onto her.
"I... don't know. The others didn't seem happy with her decision."
Bien looked back in the direction of the village. "Thank you, for saving me back there."
She made sure he was secure on her back. "As long as we're together, I think we'll be okay."
They took a deep breath as Gaine bounded off into the night towards the distant dark forest.
TO BE CONCLUDED...
- COMMENTS
C.H. Darkstriderover 2 years agoAs promised, here is my review of one of your erotic stories! First off, the technical aspects of it are good! Your spelling and grammar are top notch, with only a slight flub or two in the whole tale thus far. Bravo! The storytelling elements are well done! Your level of detail gives enough to paint a picture in your head, while leaving a good deal of imagination to take place on the reader's part. Nicely played!
Also I get a distinct vibe that is somewhere between the Witcher and Legend of Zelda. As far as fantasy goes, this is a nice sweet spot you've hit! The erotic bits are good, but they could have used a bit more detail and buildup, maybe a touch more in chatter and conversation between Bien and Gaine. Primarily to help establish something more concrete between the pair. Outside of that, the only gripe os tbat this story is woefully too short! With what you found here as far as a story goes, you could easily make this a regular series!! I hope you can manage such a feat, as something this good shouldn't be relegated to only a few chapters! 5 stars for you!!
Anonymousalmost 3 years agoExcellent chapter and story overall. Your writing really gave a sense of the excitement, the lust, the fear and of course the erotic nature of their growing relationship. As per usual it does seem to prove that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I think you also managed to show that clans lead by warriors without wisdom is a clan that will die by stupidity. Avide claims that what she is doing is for the good of the clan but it is clearly jealousy that motivates her and you cannot rule by fear and emotion. Thanks for another well written chapter and for all that went into making it so good.
J.D.
CDFablealmost 3 years agoAuthorIt's finally here! The final part is already plotted but I might do a different short first because this one took a long time to get right. Thank you so much for the positive feedback on chapter 1 and I hope you enjoyed chapter 2.
