by littlemissnaughtygal
You need to decide before starting the story what POV you want to write it from, and stick with it. There is an extreme difference between "I"/"you" and "he", "she",etc. Also, you should learn the difference between your (second person possessive), and you're (contraction meaning "you are"). I actually hate the english language, it was forced on my gaelic and french ancesters by military power, and I think the world is a lesser place because of that. However, I accept that we have to "bloom where we are planted" and have to make the most of what our ancestors left us.


What a weird and hateful comment from the first anon. person (and so wonderfully well-written LOL) I guess it takes all kinds, even the delusional.
Anyway this story has a some good moments in it, the plot needs some work though. Why would a loving person subject their partner to being hit on when it obviously is distressful to her?
to stupid lesbians who goes from straight to pussy licer they are taught a lession about being fuck by a real dick and not a whores fake one