All Comments on 'The Day I Caught the Flu'

and you've gotten some excellent advice but you're not taking it. You are not learning. You keep writing like you are in a race to get to the end. This was really bad. No feeling, no emotion, no nothing. And the wife's story is just a rehash of the husband's. If you are going to write the wife's story it should be different and not just repeat everything you already wrote.

I was hoping you would get better but you are not. I'd go back and re-read all the great advice other writers gave you.

before you reap the rewards for what you have sown, TK U MLJ LV NV

This could have been a great tale of consequences but it kind of flopped in the end. Cheating cunt got away way too easy. If you're going to do BTB, give the cheating spouse the end they deserve.

While you were using Husbands POV , you set up a pretty good story line , but once it went to her POV , it just went wrong.

What was she saying about him that was so bad ?

Why did she even want to fight the divorce ? There sure isn't any love conveyed to her husband, only lauds of praise on her lover.

This had the potential to be a very good LW story , but it just didn't work when you went to her POV. Maybe you can add another chapter , and explain her character a little bit more indepth, because you missed the mark in this part.

Go read for a while and figure out how to write dialogue. You write as if you have never read in your life.

Your writing is very immature as is your story line. There is no interaction between characters, no emotion, no depth, no pathos. What was the point?

Quit writing in 'narrative' it gets tedious and boring.

I have to agree with @Crkcppr comment...Why the need to know her part of the story? To know she was a whore? To know she didn't love her husband? And finally a piece of art: she thinking: "I am trying to put my life back together and hope I have learned my lesson"!! Of course not!! She soon will be fucking around again...But at least now she is single! But a good story...Why the need to depreciate this writer's stories, just because they all involves Hospital environments? 3*

Straight to the point, and good. A clean kill with no messy ambiguities. What is missing is the back story: the reason she cheated. Was is simply that a good looking guy came on to her? These things do not really happen in a moment. They have plenty of time to think about it. When did she take the safety off and how did she make the decision to trade her life, and honor away for sex with a "god"?

What I can't understand is why a cheater cheats? If they don't care for their spouse why not leave? If they do care for their spouse, why hurt them? The only thing that makes sense in every case is that they do not care about their spouse and they want to stay married for the other benefits. They chose not to build a fulfilling life for themselves in a loving relationship with a spouse, with kids and family. Cheating is ultimately a self destructive act. It cause personal ties to be damaged or cut. Even if the cheater had few ties, or gets to keep most of what they had, the trouble is they have already sacrificed their honor. They didn't tell one lie, they lived a life of lies. When you chose that - no one can trust you, not even yourself. Like entering bad data, they have crammed their computer so full of shit that nothing good comes out of it.

hospitals have so many nooks and crannies for such action... this may be fiction but it is a true setting of a day in the halls of the hospital

No passion, dialogue, character development, or writing skill. Just blah.

adding some zest to your stories. You need more emotion, so the reader feels some of the pain. You also have to use some imagination and change something about catching the wife cheating and divorcing her. That seems to sum up your plots. Many readers enjoy BTB stories, but you have to give them something with some emotion. I always suggest people read some Ohio stories to see what emotion in a story can be. That guy makes you feel the pain of the cheated husband.

As Crkcppr said,just what did she say, and if she felt so little for him, why fight the divorce?And if she does want to fight the divorce, STOP FUCKING THE DOCTOR!

@betrayedbylove, how much more BTB do you want? She lost her job, friends and family and had to leave town. Did you want her homeless, eating cat food or working in a Mexican whorehouse? I think the BTB was sufficient for her actions.

Like one of the other Anonymous says, you should stop writing in pure narrative and instead incorporate dialogue and other textual variations in your story.

As it is, it's frankly a boring read. I didn't get any feeling for the husband's situation while reading, and I never got invested in the characters. It was like reading a newspaper article. The story in itself is fine, but you need to work on better making your readers experience the husbands sadness and rage through your prose. Conveying feelings, mood and atmosphere is as important as the story.

An empty woman with an empty life. Threw away her husband for some fun cock. Now she's sorry. Goodbye.

Recently, it seems that there is this popular idea that maybe only after just a few months "the grass isn't any greener" angle seems to come up to the surface, as part of the consequences to cheating. i.e. what starts out so hot, fizzles out to not. And then, the hot new adultery has lost something in flavor, compared to the "rock steady" marriage back to true love at home whom they've been busily taking for granted. Damage done regardless of length of time, and of course consequences abound.

For some reason, in this story here, what sticks out to me is the (did I read this right?) almost DAILY consummation of the adulterous affair goes on and on, lasting for two years in the flagrant view of the entire workplace????

How were they not caught prior to the events of this story?

Right there, THAT is some of the extra detail this story would have needed to improve.

But further, how did they keep the carnal passions up for so long, without any guilt or thought to their (even self-centeredly just the lovers) future?

It seems to me that after 2 years, they actually had a pretty good thing going, so why wouldn't there be any thoughts of abandoning the prior marriages?

This is another area for more detail.

And then, after discovery, why not expound a little on the forces keeping them apart. Why would doc and nurse, even if fired, and finally divorced, NOT bundle together even tighter to survive the aftermath? So, I guess I'm asking WHY

was getting divorced the deal breaker for what was obviously hot sex in a committed relationship of 2 years?

I guess we are just to assume that the Doc is an asshole. I mean ALL "greek gods" were, so......

But was it really just the power of a larger penis, and the availability of the job keeping them together? So without the job, he just HAS to take his penis elsewhere?

Sure, them breaking up is very believable. But based on the story you wanted to tell, THAT is what you should have been focusing on in "her part" of the narration. In this way, her POV brings something NEW to the story, and isn't merely a rehash of the exact same events you JUST GOT DONE TELLING US through hubby's POV.

Often the best way to utilize "He said, She said" narration technique is to make it more like:

" this is what he knows, this is what he DIDN'T know" (or what actually was happening)

What is even better, is to use split narration to cover larger timeline stories. But in any case, the use of more than one narrator is HARD to pull off effectively. Such that for many neophyte authors, the best advice is to avoid it altogether. Make it HIS story....PERIOD! Or, if ya like....HER story, PERIOD!.

In this way you will be inspired to add more emotional aspects to the character development, and it can help to compensate for the "outline" feel of your plot layout.

I do hope you keep working to improve, and I wish you good luck!

And as always, thanks for your efforts.

The comments posted previously are apt criticism but keep writing as you can only get better. The story is believable, and could pertain to anyone when it comes to cheating.

But it definitely needs more context to it. But it's still good. Please keep submitting!

There's a decent story in here, but the writing is too dry, and the end is rushed.

I agree that you should keep writing. You are a good storyteller. You should stop posting, though. Just work on these things a little and you'll be very good. They feel rushed to post, like you are in some sort of race to post 100 stories in a year. Wouldn't it be better to post five very good ones? This is a draft and the story still hasn't been written. Slow down, breathe a minute and you'll be fine. There isn't a deadline and you're not writing a news story. A little back and forth, a glimpse into the characters minds and you'll have good stories. If you keep doing this, the scores and readers are going to continue to decline until no one bothers anymore. Best wishes for the future.

So why would she fight the divorce? She was clearly dissatisfied with her marriage if she was anticipating having sex EVERY SINGLE DAY! Let's face it, most men and women fade after a few months. Sex becomes...routine after a year and more often than not, couples sex lives slow down. So for her to be having hot sex every day for two years says that this was more than just simple sex.

And why would she be fired? Why wouldn't she be hired somewhere else? Do you seriously believe hospital administrators and HR are a bunch of puritans with some extreme standards for sexual purity? Do you believe that if she were single, she would be fired for having sex? Fuck no! Likely no one would care.

If one of the women in my office was having an affair, I wouldn't care.

Case in point: My boss was fucking one of my employees, caught her giving him a hummer in his hummer...and I was on my way to his place to pick up my daughter because his wife ran a day home...it wasn't any of my business that he was fucking someone (or a lot of someone's as it turned out) and I never said anything. Why? Because they're both GODDAMN adults doing adult things. So quit acting like a motherfucking nut job who's still living in his mothers basement jerking off to Internet porn. No one really cares who is fucking who.

First comment on writing. A bit clinical. I knew where it was going from the beginning. Not much of a twist and no clear emotional commitment on the husbands side.

Clearly Jim is worthless in bed. She never came during sex? What a useless dick Jim is, it will take awhile for Carol to realize it but she is better off without him and her family if they dumped her. Jim is actually emotionally distant long before she was otherwise he would have noticed the change. Those who leave first are the ones who are surprised. He had not opened up communications with her so she was not secure with sharing the work issues etc. I doubt it would be that hard to prove who took the video and how it was taken, after that you just have to create enough logic in the mind of a vengeful husband - pretty easy. Further, she had cause against the Hospital for lax security if someone could so easily plant a camera. They would be on the hook for poor security and believe me she would have walked away with a private settlement. I know this of settlements I have had to negotiate such both as a defendant and as a plaintiff. The hospital is responsible for every square inch of property, and access to that property. Given that this was a "rest and recreation area" is should have been secure. My guess is given Texas law she would easily walk away with a fairly good settlement - 500K or even 1M.

Here is how I want her. She needs to be diseased, alone, homeless, addicted to heroin, broken, broke, and sucking dick on the street. Remember, this is fiction. I want the whole package.

tongue-in-cheek

So there

I agree with kimi1990, you are pushing them out about as fast as wifey was meeting Dr. Adonis in his personal room. I appreciate also the fact that you can spell

and use good grammar. That is a plus for me.

You do need to concentrate on character development so that we almost know what the spouse will say or do before they do it. Give background but don't labor it. Get to the point but don't rush through it. I'm enjoying your LW stories both BTB and RITE (reconciliation in the end). But please don't be offended by the jerks who comment on here, and take to heart those who are trying to help with constructive criticism.

Again, 5 *'s but no FS rating today.

she strayed. she played. she paid.

nice :)

sorry... :-( BTB stand for...?

it ends too fast & the ending sucks

It contains everything that a reader of the Loving Wives section could want. Cheating, drama, discovery, revenge and justice.

Your fans are waiting for your next story.

Where does Jim get off causing problems just because his wife traded up?

You got the basic outline, but there's little emotion in this. It reads as if it was a journalistic exercise and not prose.

Another good story, but as another has suggested, it would be better with dialogue. I went back to another story and you did very well with the dialogue in that one, so you can write decent dialogue. I think dialogue is the best way to show the character’s inner feelings, but what do I know?

Fort some reason many readers on this site seem have a problem with viewpoint switch when it’s written in 1st person. I’m not bothered at all, but I read an awful lot of novels and regardless of voice, POV switches often. With an erotic story, it’s true the reader feels closer to the action when the voice is 1st person, but I’ve read many erotic works written in 3rd person. It never hurts to test your wings.

I gave you 4*. cd

she should have had a been dealt a much-more severe revenge to her financial, social and physical appearance. This goes for male or female - cheat = the earth that you exist in gets scorched badly. Well done author!

just no emotions.

and, which is it?

"I was quickly found in contempt of court and fined. I didn't care."

" I was furious and Bruce had to lead me out of court before saying something that would put me behind bars."

He gets off not on her trading up, He gets off because he traded up.

Seems like this theme was handled well by at least one of the popular

Authors in this category. As is, this is a bare outline with very little story / character development. What would set it apart would be a different slant on the theme and exploring the motivation behind all the characters' actions (revealed through action and thoughts as they get involved in this destructive behavior). It's not necessary to go more criminal in the BTB but mental anguish and fear (maybe caused by pure bad luck) would be fun to explore. A mentor of mine often quoted his favorite psychologist, saying "children are great preceivers, but lousy interpreters." Try playing off of misperceptions of events following divorce.

You need to work on your conversations and get some emotion into it! I admit that the latter is more or less dependent on the reader. But if the speakers get emotional it has a tendency to carry you along.

Everybody is an expert on how to write a story. Maybe some of you smart asses should start writing some stories and make them better. It's not like we don't need any good ones in this category. Getting enough trash posted daily stinking to high heaven. Loving wives sure is a place for the whiners. lol

Good story author, appreciate your effort.

BTB = Burn The Bitch/Bastard

Please pay attention to the comments. Criticism is NOT insulting ... it is intended to be beneficial. If, FreeWheel, you do take it to heart (and pen), your stories will improve.

Using primarily narration, this tale is about as exciting as reading a quilting instruction manual! Your characters are probably vivid and exciting in your mind, but you are NOT conveying those impressions effectively to many of your readers!

For the read.

For the read.

...of fact, your characters and story come off a bit flat and dry. Kind of like Detective

Sargeant Joe Friday in the almost ancient TV series Dragnet...."just the facts, ma'am," tends to leave the audience disassociated from the drama they're experiencing.

As a narration, it worked. As a story about one of the most horrific experiences a couple can face, it lacked audience-engaging emotion and character development. We just don't really care that wifey got burned...and nearly equally are not phased by hubby's tragedy. Oh, and the ending was rather abrupt.

To the exasperated Anony, I have written and been published since I was eleven. I am now almost seventy, have taught writing and literature classes at highschool and college level.

I think I am reasonably well qualified to comment as I have.

No one has to like these comments, but if the author ever hopes to improve, attending to them, filtering out pointless invective from the toads and working on the things the audience didn't like...are all necessary.

Good luck, keep writing. Thank you.

Ay me! for aught that I could ever read,

Could ever hear by tale or history,

The course of true love never did run smooth.

One more unremarkable tale of woe caused by confusing sex with love. How many of these stories need to be posted to remind us of the charming consequences of infidelity and the predictable emotional response by the 'injured' party before we explore another option to seeking revenge and inflicting pain on those who 'betrayed' us? Wanting to hurt somebody because they bruise your ego by having the audacity to want to experience sex with somebody else proves only one thing: you didn't really love them in the first place.

Just one more reminder of why I need to stay away from Loving Wives stories.

"Wanting to hurt somebody because they bruise your ego by having the audacity to want to experience sex with somebody else proves only one thing: you didn't really love them in the first place."

What kind of a cuck are you? I prove my love by letting my wife "experience sex with somebody else" (let's not call it what it is - CHEATING!)? How about SHE proves HER loved by not WANTING to cheat?

And it has nothing to do with "ego". Part of loving each other is for BOTH parties to forego sex with others. How is it that when the cheated on partner gets upset he/she has a "bruised ego", yet the cheater would never accept being cheated on. Why, are they afraid of bruising THEIR egos?

By all means stay away from Loving Wives. It seems this category is harmful for your well being.

You use the word "cheating", but at what point in a relationship a person has with somebody who is not his or her spouse do you say that 'cheating' has occurred?

I have a number of friendships with people who are not my husband. Technically they are 'extra-marital relationships' but nobody could possibly describe them as "cheating". They are 'friendships'.

If I allowed them to develop, at what point in your definition would they cross the line?

Lue

it was like reading an instruction manual. The reasoning was so unbelievable. It was everyone else's fault but hers. She is suppose to be an RN yet is as stupid as they come. He was no better.

Are you really that stupid, or do you just like making an ass of yourself in order to vex people for your own amusement? You're asking him to "define cheating", when he literally defined it in his comment. I know you're THE cheater apologist/rationalist, but come on, you can't have your head that far up your own ass.

Are you having sex with any of these "friends" of yours behind your "husband's" back? If so, you are cheating. You can split hairs all you like, but the definition of adultery isn't going to change just because you want it to. The story is about extra-marital SEX, sbrooks' comment is about extra-marital SEX, so you bringing up "friendships" that don't involve extra-marital SEX literally has nothing to do with anything being discussed.

The point at which penetrative sex occurs draws the line between 'cheating' and 'not cheating'? Could 'cheating' have occurred before then? Could penetration occur without it being 'cheating'?

Come on. A bit of deep thought. Exercise those brain cells.

Lue

Ps: If thinking about the complexity of human relationships rather than seeing the world as a binary place of good and bad and right and wrong means that I am stupid as you suggest, yes I am stupid.

To begin with "cheating" is going behind your husband's back. So if you tell your husband that you are meeting some girlfriends for dinner, but actually meet a male friend, you have cheated, even if you just had dinner. It may not be as high a degree of cheating as actual sex, but it is still cheating.

Another common definition is if it is something you wouldn't do in front of your partner (I want to make clear that it isn't only wives who cheat!) - I'm ruling out you swingers and cuckolds out there!

If you kiss someone other than your partner passionately it is cheating.

If you allow touching, even over clothes, in places where only your partner should touch you,it is cheating.

If the touching is under clothes or with clothes of, it is cheating.

Any form of oral sex is cheating.

And it should go without saying that intercourse is cheating.

The bottom line is, if you want to "see" other people, but don't want to cheat, BEFORE doing it you approach your partner and discuss it. You make clear that you are extending the same opportunity to your partner, i.e. an "open marriage". If your partner says,"Thanks, but no thanks, you're all I want," you either drop it (but expect some mistrust from your partner and don't be offended by it!) or ask for a divorce.

I think that about covers it, if anyone thinks of anything I've missed, please add it.

I know the hard-core BTB'ers would want to kick his/her ass to the curb for just thinking about it, but as long as it hasn't gone "too far" (user defined!) before approaching the partner I believe that things can work out.

I would have agree with his definition. My only addition is something that I have encountered recently that drove me bananas. If you are doing something that you wouldn't allow your partner to do (with another person) then you may not technically be cheating, but you are wrong. I know a woman who loves to flirt. She loves plugging sexual innuendos into any conversation. She even has a guy a work that she calls "love muffin". However, if her husband even admits to being attracted to another woman, she goes insane.

Thanks for your comments on my comments. My original question was not flippant or ill-considered as SystemShock seemed to think. It is something I have thought about very deeply for many years and I'm still not sure that I could define 'cheating'.

Both of you have given physical and behavioural descriptions of things you would consider to be 'cheating'. (Sbrooks gave a very detailed description.) I have been thinking about it more as an emotional thing rather than behavioural.

I like the old legal term "Alienation of affections". Affection is emotional rather than physical. Some partners can do all the things on Sbrooks' list without threatening their affection for their spouse, or their spouse's affection for them.

It seems to me that 'cheating' is better defined through the eyes of the spouse. If my partner has a relationship another person that he or she should realise I would want them to not have, they are cheating.

But I'm still thinking about it.

Lue

And he didn't have himself checked by a urologist and demand that they see a fertility specialist. What a moron.

IDIOT

... Thank you for the story. It was crisp and well-paced, though the characters seemed hollow and in need of fleshing out. Panther fan.

As I read more of these stories I find too many to be pap formula. Greek God? Waiting to get proof? Thought she wouldn't be caught? Monster cock? Please give me a fucking break! Cheaters do not need excuses, they don't care! They don't faint on the news, their active disrespect is their armor. It's lust, and that he s burning passion. Lust for sex, position, money? Doesn't matter. Just lust. Go outside and see what is going on. A big problem for writers who are by nature timid and live with their words in their heads.

very formulaic. Always with the god with a baseball bat for a cock. If he was twice as big as her husband, and she said her husband always FILLED her nicely, (no size given, so if her husband 'filled' her, he wasn't tiny!) then what was the 'god' doing with the other half? Where was it going, into her womb? That doesn't sound very comfortable or pleasurable, unless she was a complete size queen, in which case how was she 'always filled nicely' before?

The unfaithful twat got what she deserved! And so did Dr. Big Dick! Fired,now with a bad rep,and divorced.Too bad he couldn't have gotten kicked in the stones and become impotent!

Somehow,even though the cheating cunt lost a lot,I would have liked to see the author rub it in,perhaps describing her parents reactions when seeing the tape,and some of the comments of her now former friends.

Wonder which doctor's career she'll ruin in Oklahoma.

Exposed on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com.

MARRIED FEMALE COLLEGE INSTRUCTOR IN HELENA MONTANA-ALSO GRANDMOTHER-LOST TEACHING JOB BECAUSE OF FACEBOOK INFO. HAD COERCED STUDENT INTO HAVING SEX

She-it man! We want more B.T.B. Hell yeah! A baseball game with his kahoonies (I cant spell) where was I oh yeah. Batter up left ball out the ground. ! She gets pregnant to Dr Dick? Hospital gets sued for millions. Her and Dr anaconda now can't get work here they move to Greece Country goes broke. NOW THAT IS A HOME RUN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKIN OATH MAN, YEAH I KNOW THAT THIS IS FICTION BUT I HATE WHEN WIFE CHEATS WITH Dr HORSE(sorry for calling Dr irrigation pipe names no disrespect to snakes, horses or irritating pipes . Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

Needed more pain on her lover.

Physical for sure, but more about the career and personal life destruction would have been nice to read.

Why its not illegal to purposely destroy a family I have no idea.

but no, it's a sad story, but good. "I am trying to put my life back together and hope I have learned my lesson." I think not, if all you can do is hope. Once a cheating slut, always a cheating slut. This story seemed so real life like. Doctors thinking they are Gods, Nurses thinking they are gods gift to humanity, and so superior to everyone else. I'm glad hubby was able to get rid of her, without too much time invested, need I say emotion.

Cheating starts when you prioritize something else above your spouse, whether that's a relationship, your occupation, or an addiction. If you can't sit your spouse in a room alone with the partner in your "extra-marital" relationship (i.e. your mother, lover, or boss) and be comfortable with any question that arises about that relationship, then you've probably cheated on your spouse in one form or another.

I believe in the maxim, "Put each other first, and you'll never come in second". It has served me well in my own relationship so far.

A marriage takes a lot of work. In fact, for most people it is their real job. It is where you invest time and money in your partnership with another person. You work towards creating a nest for your offspring and a future for yourselves. Unfortunately there are a lot of selfish, short sighted people out there who can't get past their own egos.

and nothing left to fight against, TK U MLJ LV NV

I never commented on a character's personality before since these are stories, but "hope I learned my lesson" doesn't sound like she did. Thanks for the read.

A true short "loving wives" story.

I am giving 5 stars as this story appeals to those of us enjoying burning the cheating bitch, and because right now the story has an overall score lower than it deserves.

However, her side of the story should be a little harsher and longer.

2* coz your other stupid wimpy husband stories...

Ull never rate you more than 2* from now on...

Cunt...

bit too fast paced, more detail of the betrayal and hurt and more emotions always makes cheating stories better but keep'em coming we love'em!.

to some of the anons, stick to mills and boon if this kind of stuff offend you so much.

This story seemed like an "overview" or maybe a summary of what happened. Nothing wrong with that of course, just would like more detail and dialogue. So many unanswered questions. Sex every day with the greek god? Every day? What was her plan for babies, for her marriage, for terminating the relationship with her hung doctor, etc.? The husband obviously did the right thing, she was no longer in the marriage and I'm surprised she even tried to fight it. Good story.

Once a cheater.........

It might be a good idea to at least proof read your work before submitting. Even better would be to use one of the editors that enjoy to help a writer along. This was one tough read, not to mention this story has been written so many times it seems like you copies someone's work.

Once a cheater...............

Not a story.

No emotion. Just a very dry narrative...more like a police report. Dull.

Not worth a comment

She got half and some embarrassment. She moved on to some other Doctor and probably ended up married to a successful Doctor. Not much of a penalty.

Hi I have read the comments section! It's almost even split!

My opinion don't cheat and you won't have to worry about the Bullshit associated

with cheating ( I hope that makes sense) diseases the list is long the worst starts

With " A " OR " H " for people who don't have a clue AIDS OR HIV ! So this brings

Us back to don't cheat!

Thanks for sharing this Fantastic story with us!

Love you all! GREG.

OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

those cockless wonderturds spooged on their neckbeards after this drivel

flat boring unemotional. the bitch and the asshole didn't get punished enough.

not a BTB tale, however it ain/t awilling cuck auto bio

She only hopes she learned her lesson, she’s delusional

For sharing .

If she doesn't know, she didn't. Thanks for sharing.

. . . . Infliction of Severe Emotional Distress, Wrongful Termnation (of the nurse/wife),j just for starters. Wife/Nurse states she was sexually harassed before she transferd to the new Service, but it (i.e., the harassment) got worse. The initial boink with the doc was described as not voluntary on her part. As far as the story relates, no one but the doc and the wife knew it was going on. Husband lost a good opportunity for an EEOC case (and probably a similar employment case under Texas law) by his quick divorce. The wife, and ONLY the wife, had an EEO sexual harassment case. It would be the doc's word against hers. Husband would only have a derivative loss of consortium case if wife has a case. (Texas law does not recognize alienation of affection, or criminal conversation any more.)

One star because your BTB story degenerated into fantasy!

you would think they should do everything to try and remedy it, TK U MLJ LV NV

i hope she burns in hell and that may even be too good for her

cunt. got what you deserved

Of the cryptic horseshit in the comments section! !! She cheated that it Oh No She then Bragged about how wonderful Donkey Dick was......What I want to know! Who the Dirty Prick was that farted on The Express Train in the Morning! Asshole Knew Nobody could get off "FUCKEN HELL IT STUNK!

★★★★★ WOOF! Oh Story is fantastic! See Ya!

Ironically, I'm going to go against my own rant starting in 3...2...1...

Comments should be directed at the story, author, fictional characters, and outing ones own self loathing. There are a few people that with their names that I perceive people perceive as big, whose opinions are already well known and don't add much more than an average comment, take over comments by primarily commenting on comments which serves to just fucking reduce the SINR to abysmal levels. In story after story, the same stuff over and over again. Please, just stop.

You should be knowledgeable enough to know that there are forums for argument, debate, and discussion on stories, probably actually having predated their very existence when you joined the site. And be big enough to carry the same rehashed discussions in a place where they belong.

YOU STARTED US OUT WITH THIS....

<<< The following story took place three years ago and is largely told in first person with virtually no dialogue.

The following story is a work of fiction and does not depict any actual persons or events. >>>

HOW DOES A STORY THAT YOU SAY "TOOK PLACE THREE YEARS AGO AND IS LARGELY TOLD IN FIRST PERSON WITH VIRTUALLY NO DIALOGUE" GET CONVERTED TO FICTION?

Video should have followed her to the OK doctor's office. That would have been a burn.

Lame husband, lousy plot, and a cliche cheating.

"...hope I have learned my lesson" what a nonsense to say in the end!

Pathetic writing.

Even Greek gods can be brought down. Just ask Achilles, the first heel.Decent story, with another totally insane cheating wife. Comments great, especially sbrooks103x schooling Lue on the definition of cheating. Luedon is/are very intelligent, but one of the biggest trolls in LW.

This is the second story of yours about a dr and his rest area. Must hit home. Short and sweet. Liked it.

You call that a BTB story? I think the doctor and the bitch wife got off easy. I mean, all he really did was divorce her and “out” their affair. Big whoop. One more thing, Texas is an either/or state. You can pick your poison, either “At Fault” or “No Fault” divorce. Grounds for ‘at fault’ can be adultery, cruelty, abandonment, among other things. Even mental illness is grounds. And the law does allow for the ‘at fault’ party to be punished, at least financially. At least that’s what I’ve been told. :)

What .... they can only have a vaginal orgasm if they have a massive 'cucumber' shoved up there?

And they all want their marriages to continue ? Whisky Tango Foxtrot !!!

One comment Said it And yes it true, just a 0815 story ... The plot it lamé And The characters are shallow. Pretty lamé predictible story

do authors tell a story from one persons point of view, then waste time telling the same story from another persons point of view. It never adds to the story. It is almost always nearly word for word the same. Just change from me and her, to me and him. Big fucking deal. Story was twice as long as needed. Just filling pages to look good.

just more justification and reason for why they cheated