All Comments on 'The Deep Murk'

I want to say good attempt but the structure was so fractured I didn't read much.

I don't really know what was going on here. The first several lines are so disorganized, chaotic, incomplete thoughts, I can't tell who the characters are, how many of them there are, where they are, or what they are doing.

I'm fairly new to this, so please don't hold back.

Im not sure what just happened... But it seemed well done... Like a foreigner watching a native ritual.. Intrigued but lost...