All Comments on 'The Dept'

Pathetic... couldn’t make it past first couple of paragraphs

Silly question I know but what is “The Dept”? Perhaps you meant “Debt”?

Whichever, it is still rubbish.

What is the obsession with anal sex with ones wife is the writer a closet homosexual.

Put these efforts at story telling in the Fetish category

This seems to be a first story. Thank you for risking criticism by sharing it on such a public platform.

I am just going to focus on the first paragraph. You seemed to want to go immediately into the background and so you gave us your background report.

One problem is that you still have not caught your readers' attention. A writer has maybe three sentences to hook the readers before they opt out of reading your story.

Second, you used a "just the facts, ma'am" style, which is boring.

One recommendation is to possibly formulate your very first sentence in such a way as to hook your audience and give them some clue as to where the story is going.

Another option is to go to your first scene without the background explained, and then bring in the background. Preferably with dialogue or memories.

I hope my comments are helpful.

Another retread with a new name writing the same old cuck story written thousands of times, with the same tired cliches to build a ridiculously told and plotted mess.

Just go find a cock to suck and then you wont have to write this idiocy and put it out there for public consumption. We get it, you dont like pussy and your to afraid to open that closet door, but do yourself and us the bigly favor of opening that door and freeing yourself.

Good premise but bad fallow through. To short and to little detail. Stretch it out.

The idiots are not dying out. Neither in reality nor in fantasy. This author and his story prove it!

Sister's dick didn't pick his wife come after Mr c got to it did he ever suck her p**** after Mr c put his come into it and did he eventually become a c********* himself more please

Previous anonymous bitch sounds like the type reader this shit is written for.

Will definitely keep an eye out for this author's stories to be sure to avoid reading them. I understand that one man's erotica is another man's trash and this story will fill many trash bins. Just press the handle and let this one swirl down the bowl.

Dear moron1016,

This has to be an all-time record. Six letters in, and there's a mistake.

Go back and spell the fucking title properly.*

*But I still won't read it.

It's terrible.... truly terrible.

$50, she values herself too lightly.