The Diversity of Modern Cuckolds

The Diversity of Modern Cuckolds

Soaul Meme

Historically, a cuckold is simply a man whose wife is unfaithful and commits adultery with adultery being consensual sexual intercourse between a married person and a person not their spouse. Conversely, a cuck quean is a woman whose husband is unfaithful and commits adultery.

The only question is whether the cuckold or cuck quean would discover their spouse's unfaithfulness and adultery, a.k.a., 'cheating.' If cheating is disclosed or discovered, a divorce usually ensues but sometimes reconciliation leads to staying married with promises that cheating would not recur. These are supposed to be simply black or white situations.

Ironically, over time marital sex usually becomes increasingly routine, lustless and less frequent to even absent and this monotonous monogamy frequently leads to a sexual ennui that invites adultery. Studies show up to two-thirds of husbands and half of wives commit adultery making monogamy in marriage mostly a myth and a lie .

In the 1960s and1970s, the 'Sexual Revolution' social movement challenged traditional sexual and interpersonal relationship behavior standards and advocated for increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional monogamous marriages.

This Revolution fueled by the newly released birth control pill resulted in marked increases in sexual promiscuity among singles and 'consensual non-monogamy', i.e., consensual adultery, in married couples. This consensual adultery in marriage took form in several 'alternative lifestyles' such as: 1) 'Open Marriages' or just 'Open' where both spouses were permitted ad lib consensual adultery; 2) the swinger lifestyle where both spouses were permitted consensual adultery in selected situations like spouse swaps, swinger parties and swinger clubs; and 3) the BDSM lifestyle (see 'An Introduction to BDSM' on Literotica) where a Dominant has power over a submissive couple, a.k.a., sub cuck couple.

Since it was consensual adultery that did not involve unfaithfulness or cheating, those in the Open and Swinger lifestyles do not considered themselves cuckolds or cuck queans. In contrast, men in sub cuck couples do consider themselves cuckolds even though it is consensual adultery and their wives are not unfaithful.

Additionally, there is an alternative 'Shared Wife' or 'Hot Wife' lifestyle in which only the wives are permitted consensual adultery. This lifestyle arose from swingers that evolved to only the wife 'swinging' and from married couples where the husband and/or the wife requested and are permitted consensual adultery. Unlike the Open and Swinger lifestyles, these men not infrequently call themselves cuckolds or 'cucks' for short.

Yet, this self designation as cuckolds when there is no unfaithfulness and there is consensual adultery of a sub cuck wife or Shared/Hot Wife wrongly groups these husbands with cheating wives' cuckolds. More specifically, cuckolds are even more nuanced based on the husband's, wife's and/or other men's roles and motivations in the wife's adultery. These roles and motivations allow for the identifying of distinct cuckold groups.

The following explores the diverse groups of modern cuckolds and how they can be identified. These observations are based on informal questioning of countless online self-described cuckolds in adult sex chat websites with cuckold chatrooms.

Cuckolds Groups and Their Nuances

The first group are the many unwitting and clueless Traditional Cuckolds of cheating wives. Wives cheat for many reasons (see 'Wives Explore Sexuality Online' on Literotica) and readily admit that their husbands do not know. These Traditional Cuckolds probably remain the vast majority of cuckolds in the United States.

The second group are Wittols or Acquiescent Cuckolds who are husbands that are aware and tolerate (but do not consent to) their wive's unfaithfulness and nonconsensual adultery. Not infrequently, wives disclosing or discovered cheating threaten to leave their husbands if their adultery is prohibited and these threats result in them acquiescing. Anther reason husbands may acquiesce is that they are unable to sexually satisfy their wives (thus, their cheating) and yet, they are still unwilling to consent to their wives' adultery.

Closely related are the Assenting Cuckolds group that are too small, too quick and/or too inept in bed to sexually satisfied their wives. These husbands either ask their wives or assent to their wives requests/demands to get sexual satisfaction from another men such as a 'Boy Friend' or 'Bull.' Thus, even though these wives still 'love' their husbands ('get mental and spiritual fulfillment from them'), they get their sexual satisfaction from consensual adultery.

Once their wives start openly getting their sexual satisfaction from adultery with 'her (and not infrequently, 'their') Bull', Acquiescent and Assenting Cuckolds' commonly stop having penetrative sex with their wives. Although in reality, many husbands are relieved to not have the marital pressure of their wives' sexual satisfaction, it is frequently their wives or her Bull who no longer permit this penetrative sex. Nonpenetrative sex like hand jobs, leg humping and cunnilingus especially 'clean up' (cunnilingus after the wife has had sex and semen still remains in or on her) are permitted.

When asked Acquiescent and Assenting Cuckolds would agree that their wives no longer respect them as men but instead respect them as companions and providers. Also, while some still respect themselves as a man, many have lost this self respect.

The third group are the Compersion Cuckolds or Compersons. Compersion, the opposite of jealousy, is pleasure experienced from fantasizing or knowing that one's partner is emotionally or sexually involved with another person. It is commonly experienced in polyamory but some husbands experience compersion fantasizing or knowingly sharing their wives with other men.

Although wives do bring up the idea, commonly it is the husband that summons up the courage to suggest or outright ask his wife to have sex with another man as a way to add fun or 'spice' to their marital sex. Commonly, almost all wives hesitate but many agree usually because the appeal of relief for their marital sex ennui.

With their agreements, these wives becomes a 'Shared Wife' or 'Hot Wife' that has consensual adultery with a single BF/Bull, more than one 'Regular;' and /or Random Hookups with Strangers as negotiated between her and her husband..

These consensual adulteries can be very infrequent like a few times a year or only on vacations, or very frequent such as several times weekly. Typically, they range from weekly to several times monthly.

Although almost all husbands want to watch their wives' adulteries and some do, most don't because their wives don't want it and/or their partner(s) won't allow it. Thus, Shared/Hot Wives frequently 'sex date n tell' which involves a wife's adultery in private and then on returning to her husband the wife 'tells' him the details of her adulterous activities. This 'telling' is universally arousing for both the husband and his wife and uniformly leads to sexual activity including not infrequently 'clean up' cunnilingus.

Sharing wives makes marital sex exciting again since this excitement carries over to marital sex in between consensual adulteries. Curiously and paradoxically, sharing wives also leads to stronger marital bonds probably because of the open communications, trust and intimacy involved in doing it.

In contrast to Acquiescent and Assenting Cuckolds, many husbands of Shared Wives rebel at being call 'cuckolds' due to its negative connotations and instead frequently will use other terms such as 'Stag/Vixen.'

Of note, they readily accept being called a 'Comperson' because of its compersion connotations. Compersons are respected as a man the same or more by their wives because they are shared and Compersons do not lose their self-respect as man.

Finally, there is the submissive cuckolds or 'sub cuck' group. Although there are rare Domme/sub cuck pairs, almost all sub cuck husbands are part a sub cuck couples where both are submissives. Within these couples, there is a minority of Switch/sub couples where the wives dominate ('Domme') only their submissive husbands and remain submissives to all others.

Generally, submissive couples struggle to get their alternative BDSM lifestyle organized since neither can or is willing to take the lead. Usually organization comes from a Domme wife (if one) or a Dominant ('Dom/Bull') who takes 'ownership' of the wife and controls the couples' sex lives.

Since the sub cuck also serves their Dom, once a Dom/Bull is involved in his wife's adultery, the sub cuck ceases all sexual activity with his wife spontaneously or on orders from the Dom. Not infrequently, the sub cuck is also put in locked male chastity device ('caged') to prevent any sexual gratification including masturbation. The key for the device is held by his Domme wife and/or Dom and the schedule for being 'let out' of the device is at their discretion.

As a submissive, the sub cuck is obedient and does as the Dom orders. He frequently watches his wife's adultery with her Bull and others as her Dom arranges. Sub cucks not only routinely do 'clean up' cunnilingus on their wives they also frequently perform 'clean up' fellatio on their Bulls. And not infrequently sub cucks allow their Doms/Bulls to perform anal intercourse on them.

In addition, a significant minority of sub cucks are feminized or 'sissified' by their Domme wives and/or their Dom/Bulls. As sissies, they commonly wear women's 'panties' and are even made to fully cross-dress and remain so on only on occasions to full time cross-dressing at home. Some even serve as full time cross-dressed 'beta girl friends' to their Domme wives and their Bulls. Feminization can become so ingrained that some sub cucks fantasize having their own full time boyfriend and no longer think about having sexual intercourse with women.

All these activities are extremely humiliating to sub cucks and their wives active participation in humiliating them makes it uber-humiliating. Yet, humiliation is what sub cucks crave and live for and it takes great strength and courage for submissives to take the humiliation what want and need.

Almost no sub cuck respects themselves as men or see their wives or Dom/Bulls respecting them as a man and none would change it!

What Kind of Cuckold Is He?

An occasional husband will claim online that his wife doesn't know that he knows she is cheating and he is letting it continue unabated because it arouses them. In fact, one husband claimed to have gotten details of her cheating from his wife's coworker lover! He did not tell his wife because her thinking she was cheating on him added to its arousing appeal. So, what kind of cuckold is he?

Since he knew his wife is cheating, he is not Traditional Cuckolds. He could be 'closeted' Wittols who is tolerating his wife's adultery but he was more than tolerating it; he was enjoying it! He could be a secret Assenting Cuckold who is relieved that his wife's' adultery is giving her the sexual gratification he cannot but he would not admit to that.

On the other hand, he can be secret Compersion Cuckold who take pleasure in knowing his wives are sexually involved with others. yet his wife is not being knowingly 'shared' but instead she is cheating! What we do know is that they are not sub cucks since they are not involved with their wives as their Domme nor their Dom/Bulls.

The above points out that everything about nonconsensual and consensual adultery is not black and white.

Summary

The 1960's & 70's Sexual Revolution and concurrent (and subsequent) birth control methods decoupled sexual intercourse from procreation. This decoupling made alternative non-monogamous lifestyles available as remedies to the almost universal marital sex ennui resulting from long-term monotonous monogamous marital sex.

The cuckold of consensual adultery of various alternative lifestyles has been confused with the cuckold of cheating wives being unfaithful and having nonconsensual adultery. The above describes the motives and roles of husbands, wives and the other men involved that help define different groups of cuckolds and leads to better understanding of what is really happening.