The Doctor, The Ex-Con

Chapter 6 – Ruben

When I was in the seventh grade, Eddie, my best friend, told me he found a clipping in his mother's stuff that told about my dad being arrested for assault with intent to kill some man. I didn't want to believe it but he showed me the clipping. I read it over twice, and it was true. My dad was arrested after almost killing some guy with my baseball bat. It happened when I was nine and that was the last time I saw him. He must have gone to jail right away because I remember he never came home after that. At the time, mom wouldn't tell me what happened and said it would have to wait till I was older. I kept the clipping and when I went home that night, I asked her straight out to tell me what happened. She wasn't going to do it but I kept at her till she made me sit down and then she told me the whole story.

She said it was all her fault, and it was because she made a very bad mistake. She was in bed with her old boss when dad came home and saw them together. She said he had a 'breakdown' whatever that was but that it wasn't dad's fault. He had been working at the hospital for over thirty hours without sleep and he wasn't himself that day. She said when he walked in and saw them together, he just snapped. He took my baseball bat and hit the man several times before she made him stop.

She said the man recovered without any problems but that dad was so upset that he had hurt someone that he couldn't get over it and wanted to pay the price. She told me she tried to get him off with a lesser sentence but dad was too angry to accept her help and wanted nothing to do with her after what he saw. Instead, he insisted that he was guilty and they sent him to prison for seven years.

I listened, understanding what it was she did. I read stories and I saw what people did on the internet. I knew she had sex with that other man and I knew that meant she had cheated on my dad. She admitted it and didn't try to worm out of it. I thought that was pretty cool of her, even if it did make me mad at her. I asked why he wouldn't see us and she said it was because he was too proud to have me see him in jail like that. When I asked if she ever went, she looked very sad when she said dad wouldn't talk to her at all. He hadn't spoken to her since that day he saw her with that other man.

I asked her why he wouldn't talk to her and all she said was that dad couldn't forgive her for what she did to him. She said he was hurt very much and that he wanted to forget about her. She didn't say he wanted to forget about me so I filed that away for later. After I thought about what mom told me, I decided that it was the reason I would hear her cry sometimes late at night. I knew she missed my dad, because I could hear her talk to Aunt Eileen about it. Aunt Eileen was still friends with me and mom even after mom hurt dad, who was Aunt Eileen's brother. I heard mom tell her one day that she had some pictures of me she wanted Eileen to send to dad. Eileen said she would do that. I felt better that my dad would know what I looked like. I hoped I looked like him.

I didn't say any more about it to mom and I let her think I had forgotten all about it but I hadn't. I talked to Eddie about it and he suggested I talk to one of my teachers, one that I liked real well and who treated us kids like adults. He was cool and I knew I could trust him. I told him where my dad was and I asked him how I could get in touch with him. He told me he would check into it and get back to me.

It was a week later when he called me to stay after class. He told me then who to call for information. I thanked him and began to make my plan. Eddie came up with this idea that I buy one of those cheap phones that you could buy almost anywhere. He said all I had to do was pay for it up front and I would then have so many minutes to use before it was time to either buy more or just throw it away. I had enough money saved up to do it so we went to the CVS and bought one.

I waited until I was alone and called the Department of Corrections in Columbus and asked for information about Carmine Montoya. When they asked my relationship, I told them I was his son and I was eighteen. They believed me and gave me the information. I knew where he was and how to call at the prison, but when I did call, they said that dad had left clear instructions on who he would accept calls from. I wasn't on the list. They refused to talk to him for me so I asked them if I could still call for information about him. They said I could.

After that, I called every few months to see if he had changed his mind or if they might have said something to him but nothing changed. It remained that way for the next two years, the time between my calls getting longer and longer with each failure to talk to him. That was until the day I called on my fifteenth birthday. That was the day they told me that my dad had been released on parole a month ago. He was out of prison! He was free! That was the best birthday present I could have wished for. When I asked if they had a number where I could reach him, they gave me one. I had a number to call to reach my dad!

I decided that I wouldn't tell mom. She would try to stop me from contacting him. I knew that for sure. She would tell me it would hurt him if I were to call him. He wanted us to go on without him, she said. I heard her, but I wouldn't accept that. No way! Not my dad! I was going to talk to him if it killed me. And anyway, she was the one sending him my pictures so he had to think about me when he got them. So there!

I called the number they gave me and I got this man who said he was dad's parole officer. After I told him who I was and that I wanted to talk to my dad, he said he would get in touch with dad and tell him. But he told me it was dad's decision if he wanted to call me back. I did understand what he told me but I could hope. I gave him the number and he promised he would call dad and let him know it was me. I hung up and felt excited now. I was close to talking with my dad! I hadn't seen him since I was a little kid and I really missed him. I could still remember him coming in my room at night and kissing my forehead. Sissy stuff, but I loved it. I never told anyone but I did.

It was a week later, a week that seemed like it took forever to me, that I got a call on my cell phone. I still had it and kept it turned on and charged even though I never used it to call anyone else. It was just for my dad. I was walking home, my friend Eddie with me when it rang. I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, paralyzed. It was dad! He called me! What do I do? I stood there stupidly staring at Eddie until he said, "Answer it stupid!"

"Hello?" I held my breath.

"Hi. Is this Ruben? Ruben Montoya?" The voice was deep, sort of soft but clear. I would have known that voice anywhere. I heard it sometimes in my dreams. It was him!

"Dad? Is it really you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Does your mom know you called me? Is she there now?"

"No. I got a cheap phone, you know the ones you just buy and activate? She doesn't even know I have this one. I was afraid you'd call when I was home. I didn't tell her I was going to call you. Actually, I've been calling the prison for the last year or so, just waiting for you to be let go. They wouldn't let me talk to you or even give you a message so I called every few months."

"Who gave you my PO's number?"

"What's a PO?"

"He's my parole officer, the one you called. Who gave you his number?"

"The prison. Dad, where are you? Are you coming home now that you're out?"

"Ruben, that's no longer my home. Your mother and I are divorced and it's for the best. She's moved on now and that's how it should be. You know that."

"That's not true dad. She never goes out on dates and she never sees any men. She still cries at night sometimes and she's sorry for what she did. She misses you, I know. She doesn't talk about you but that's just to make it easier on me. She told me what she did and she made a mistake. You have to come back! You have to!"

"No, Ruben, I don't have to. It's better for both of you if I'm out of the picture. I'm a con, an ex-prisoner, and I've spent the last five years in a prison with other violent men. I don't even know how to live by myself yet. I'm still learning not to respond in violence when someone bothers me or insults me. No, I'm not the father you remember."

"Dad, please! I want to see you; talk to you. I want to get to know you again. I was just a kid when you went away. I'm fifteen now, almost a man. Let me come to where you are. Just once! At least one time."

There was silence from the other end and I though he had hung up. I was about to say something more when he said, "Let me think about this for a while. I promise, I'll call you back. I need to decide what is best. Is that OK? Can you wait?"

Of course I could wait if I had to! I didn't want to though, but I did want to see him and if I got too pushy, he would just hang up and ignore me like adults did.

"Sure dad, I can wait. I'll keep the phone turned on. It's best if you call during the afternoon. Mom is usually working then so it'll be private. Is that OK?"

"That's just perfect. So, I'll call you." There was a pause again, not very long this time before he said, "Goodbye ... son."

I pushed the 'end' button on the phone and just stared at it.

"So what'd he say? What'd he say to you? Come on, Ruben, what'd he say?" Eddie was hopping around me, waving his hands in frustration.

"He said he'd think about it and call me back. I know he's going to let me see him. I just know it. I'll get to see my dad!"

"Cool man. He's a real tough guy, an ex-con. He almost beat a guy to death for shittin' in his yard! That's cool man. That's real cool!" Eddie was grinning from ear to ear. But I didn't like the words he was using.

"Stop it, Eddie! He's my dad, not an ex-con! You just forget that part. It's no one's business but his and mine. You can know, but you have to forget it."

"Sure, Rube, I'll keep it secret. Just between you and me. And if he comes, you have to introduce me. You promise?"

"Sure. I promise." But I knew that if he called me back, I would keep it between him and me. My dad! I was going to see my dad after all these years!

I was on pins and needles for the next few days waiting for his call. It was a Monday afternoon, just a week since I talked to him, and I had begun to think he was not going to call me back when my phone finally rang. It was just past three o'clock in the afternoon and I was on my way home from school. Eddie was not with me today, since he had band practice on Monday and Wednesday. I was alone and in no hurry to go home to an empty house.

"Hi, dad, is that you?"

"Sure is. Can you talk? Where are you right now?"

"I'm alone and walking home. Mom doesn't get home for another hour and a half. I have a lot of time."

"Good. I've given it a lot of thought and I do want to see you. I just want to get together once to say some things to you that are important, but I want you to understand that this is not an attempt to get our family back together. I know that is what you want but it's not going to happen. Do you understand that? If you don't, I won't do this."

I wasn't ready to accept that but I was smart enough to know I had to go along with him right now if I wanted to see him. I answered him, telling him what he wanted to hear.

"Sure dad. I understand. I won't tell mom or anyone. Just tell me what you want me to do."

"OK, you get out of school at three o'clock and you walk home from there. You call your mom and let her know you're there. Is that right?"

"How do you know all that? Who told you?" I was really surprised at what he seemed to know. Was he already here? Was he watching me right now?

"I know a lot of people and they do favors for me. I had someone do some checking on you, that's all. Is what I said right?"

"Yes. It's pretty close. So, what do I do?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. I'll be there one day next week. Just do what you always do and I'll find you. It's best if you don't know exactly when. Do you understand?"

My heart was pounding with joy and I was walking on air as I assured him I understood. I would keep this a secret from Eddie, and of course mom could never know. I headed home, happy and content. I could wait another week. It had been almost seven years since I saw my dad. Seven years! Now I was going to be with him!

Chapter 7 - Nancy

I had just finished washing one of the dogs, getting him ready for neutering when Ruben called. It was a cute little Poodle, a miniature white almost ten months old. He was happy now, not knowing what was coming. Actually, it didn't hurt and they never knew anything was done. I pulled him out of the tub, wrapped him with a towel and put him down on the table where I would use the blow dryer to complete the job. His tongue was trying to reach my face as I rubbed him with the soft towel.

I flipped open my cell and held it to my ear while I completed the job on the poodle. He was quiet and almost asleep, enjoying the attention.

"Hi honey. Are you home?"

"Yeah, mom, I'm home. What do you want to do about dinner? Want me to start anything or do you want me to call for takeout?"

His voice always gave me a feeling of comfort just knowing he was safe and home where he belonged. He was getting older and would soon be going out more and more but until then, he was mine. I treasured him. He was my life now and had been for the past seven years, ever since...

"That sounds good. Why don't you call for Italian since you like that so well. I'll stop on the way and pick it up. Sound good?"

"OK, mom. I'll get the pasta and the garlic bread you like so well. I'm having the meatball sandwich. I'll see you when you get here."

"OK, honey. Bye." I dropped the phone into my hand and put it back in my pocket while I finished brushing out the poodle. He was a sweet dog and made no fuss when I put him back in the cage to wait for his operation.

I cleaned up around the table and the cages before clocking out. I was done at four thirty and the late shift would cover the actual operation. We did a few during the day but we primarily handled the examinations and the shots. I did X-rays, some teeth cleaning and a few shots, but more often assisted Dr. Jane, the veterinarian. She gave me this job and made sure I learned the ropes. She was a life saver for me at a time in my life when I was at my lowest. I never told her the whole story, just that my actions had caused my husband to divorce me and that was that. She didn't press me in any way and simply offered me an ear if I wanted one.

I changed out of my uniform and into my street clothes and then shut my locker. There were eight of us all together so we each had a locker and a mail slot of our own. I didn't bother to get a lock for the door and just trusted my co-workers to leave my stuff alone. So far, nothing had been touched and I had no reason to believe it would be otherwise. I punched the time clock, waved goodbye to the two girls that had come on for second and left. I was talking to myself, going over the things I had to do on the way home when my cell phone rang. That was a surprise since no one but my son had the number.

The called ID was registering only that the call came from Columbus. No identification of the caller. I debated on answering, thinking it was probably a blind call from some salesman. I finally shrugged, flipped it open and answered.

"Hello? This is Nancy. How can I help you?" Just like in the office.

There was a moment of silence and I repeated my greeting. "Hello! Is anyone there?"

This time someone cleared their throat and then, "Nan, this is Carmine."

I stopped so quick I almost fell forward. My heart had started pounding, my face felt flushed and hot like I had been running, and I realized I hadn't let out the breath I was holding. I had to say something! Anything!

"Ca ... Carmine? Is this really you?" As if I didn't recognize his voice. I had heard it over and over the last seven years. I could hear his voice on the phone telling me that there was an accident and he had to stay and help. I was angry because I wanted him to take me shopping. It was the last thing he said to me, and it made me angry. I wanted to go shopping! Shopping! God help me, that was what I was thinking at the time.

"It's really me. I had to call you to let you know that Ruben contacted me. Did you know he did that? Did he tell you?"

His voice was calm, without anger or condemnation. It was still his voice and it sounded like the old Carmine. There was no anger, no pain. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I didn't hear the love that I used to hear either. Why did I think there would be anything left after all this time?

"No, I didn't know. How did he contact you? And what did he want? And how did you know my cell number. I never gave it to anyone but Ruben. Did he tell you to call me?"

"No. He has a cell phone. One of those prepaid things anyone can buy. I don't know how he activated it but he did. He called the prison, got the name and number of my parole officer and then called him. He told me and I called Ruben."

This was so much information to take in all at once. My husband who I hadn't talked to in almost seven years calls me to tell me my son had called him. He was out of prison! He was out of prison! And my son knew and called him. Ruben called his father!

I was still standing in the parking lot, staring off into space, trying to find some way to make sense of this. God! Carmine was out of prison! That was the only thing I could think of. Ruben called him but Ruben was a very intelligent boy and he had been taking care of himself for some time. I had no worries about him. And that he called his dad? Why wouldn't he? He never stopped loving his father, no more than I did. I was surprised that he had a cell phone but not surprised that he called.

"Well, I'm not surprised, Carmine. You walked away from us seven years ago but he never forgot you. He asked about you for several years after you left but I thought he had finally given up.

"I had no idea what happened to you since you refused any contact and the prison simply said you wanted no contact with me. I didn't even know you pleaded guilty and went to prison until I went to the jail to see if you needed anything. A guard had to tell me. No one else would. And now you're out of jail and I had no idea. I gave up years ago trying to get you to talk to me, Carmine. I guess Ruben didn't."

Carmine didn't answer right away. I waited and waited but he didn't say anything. I decided he had all he wanted of me so I said, "I guess that's all? Just to let me know Ruben contacted you? Well, I'll talk to him and tell him you have no desire to see him or me. That should make his life a lot simpler."

Still nothing. Well, I don't know what I expected. I was ready to hang up the phone when Carmine said something that shook me to the core.

"Wait! Wait, Nan, please. I'm sorry that I'm not always as polite as I should be. It takes time after five years in that place. I sometimes forget to answer people when I talk to them, especially when I don't know them very well."

He sounded so sad at that. I felt my heart break for him for what he had to endure. But then to go there was his choice. I still felt bad for him, knowing I was the one at fault in the first place.

"I told Ruben that I would like to see him again. I told him that I would tell him when. I would like to see you as well. If that would be alright with both of you."

Oh, God! Oh, God please don't do this! How could I stand to see him again without breaking down? How could I refuse? How could I not refuse? I had built a life without him, a life that was less than I would like but a life nevertheless! I had learned to be without him after years of trying! Now he wanted to see us!