The Dollhouse Pt. 05

"Yeah, it's great. Met a few great girls, and I think I did good... you know. I'm exhausted."

"You want a room? I can arrange one for you right now." Alex was poised to take action on his smartphone.

"Can I just go home? I need to feed my cat." More lies. If she stayed overnight she'd have to say 'yes'. And there were no more yesses left in her sore little body.

"Sure, darling." Alex tapped on his phone, and seconds later an Escalade pulled up.

Miki climbed in, slowly, gratefully. "I'll be back tomorrow, tell Serena I had fun, and thanks."

"You got it. See ya, Niki, sleep tight!"

Miki fell into a deep, dreamless sleep seconds after her head hit the pillow. When her alarm blared seven hours later it barely dawned on her that she'd slept, but she felt... good. Refreshed. Relieved.

After a cup of coffee and a small bowl of berries Miki climbed out of her bathrobe and into her running bikini, put on sunscreen and headed out the door. She ran down the stairs, two at a time, great for the legs. Oh fuck me.

"Miki!" James was in the foyer getting his mail.

"Oh hey James." She was not prepared for this. "Need to get this run in before I get back to studying..."

"Oh cool. Let me buy you lunch, I miss hanging out."

She missed hanging out too. "I really can't."

"You can spare me thirty minutes, can't you?"

Deep sigh. This was going to be complicated. He was smiling. He had no idea what she'd done. Her guts churned. "Sure."

"Great, I'll knock on your door at noon." James face lit up with excitement.

"See you then." Seconds later she was sprinting down the sidewalk, the day was already heating up and she wanted to get her five miles in before it got too scorching. Her body propelled her through the streets but her mind was grinding on all the possible outcomes of her lunch with James. She could continue her lies: she'd been busy studying late in to the night. Lying was bad. At some point she would either have to come clean or forget about James. Nothing fucked up a friendship, or whatever this was, quicker than lies. She could tell him the truth. Or maybe a little of it. She went to the Dollhouse to snoop around. Withhold that she'd sold herself to three people in the two days since James last saw her. Discussing that with anyone was off the table. Would she confess about the interview? Surely he'd ask her a ton of questions. Adrenaline poured into her veins, her heart was racing so hard she wondered if it would be better to stop and take a rest. But she just pressed on.

James tried, in vain, to eat his Chashu Ramen noodles without slurping awkwardly. They hadn't really spoken a lot since he'd knocked on her door, other than casual pleasantries, and he couldn't help but suspect she was keeping something from him. "So how's the studying going?"

"Fine. I mean I'm so far behind right now I'm going to have to spend the next few weekends catching up. I really fucked up." Hopefully this would set up ways to avoid James until after she'd found Gwen.

"I'm sure it's not that bad. You don't strike me as someone who'd let herself slip that far."

"I've been to two classes in the last two weeks."

"I know, but still, you've only missed like a week and a half max. And speaking of Gwen, you've been weirdly silent on that subject."

"I have? Lt Thompson hasn't given me any updates."

"Last week you weren't planning on waiting for the cops. You were going to go undercover."

"It was a stupid idea."

"I agree. But somehow I find it impossible to believe you didn't do anything at all between then and now."

"Is this an interrogation? Because it's starting to feel like one."

"I'm sorry. I guess it's none of my business, but I'm kind of freaked out. Miki... I really like you. And I feel like something's really wrong. You were frantic about Gwen, now you don't even mention it until I bring her up?"

Miki's face fell. This was so fucked up. He deserved better than she was giving him. But how could she tell him? She took a deep breath and exhaled into a sigh. "I didn't stop looking. I feel terrible for not telling you anything, but I just... I'm not sure how or what to say."

"You did it. You went to the Dollhouse." His expression was a confounding amalgam of concern and frustration.

"Yeah." Unable to meet James' eyes, she found a stain on the restaurant table irresistibly fascinating and launched into an in-depth survey.

"And?"

"I found out she definitely was there, working under the name Courtney."

"Whoa. Ok. That's it?"

"She was into some wild shit. Typical Gwen, always go two steps too far."

"Wild? Like how wild?"

"I don't know. Maybe hardcore BDSM or something. There's a room at the Dollhouse for that. But also I heard about a place one of the owners has called Sugar. You ever heard of it?"

James furrowed his brow. "No, but what about me makes you think I'd know about a place like that?"

"No, no. Of course not. I'm sorry." This was every bit as thorny and complicated as she'd expected.

"What did all this information cost you." He was dead serious, he needed to know. No matter what she said he wanted to take her in his arms, kiss her, and tell her everything was alright.

"I don't want to talk about it." She bit her lip trying to stop herself from talking. She needed to talk. But she was terrified.

"You can tell me anything. I swear, no matter what."

"No, you don't understand."

"Miki, we're both adults. I won't judge you. I know why you're doing this. But tell me at least that you're not in any danger."

"I'm not. I promise." She'd fucked three guys. But not James. Before all this started she had wanted to, eventually. She was going to, probably. But instead she'd just 'fucked' him. "But I couldn't get out of... stuff." Fuck. Her big mouth... just couldn't shut the fuck up.

"Stuff?"

"I... I... I want to talk to you. But not here. Let's get out of here."

Miki sat at James' kitchen table and looked down at her feet, her left leg vibrating with nervous tension. "You were right. I was so stupid not to listen to you, but even in hindsight I can't think of another way to help Gwen."

James fidgeted. "So you went to the Dollhouse. And?"

"And I 'work' there now."

"What does that mean?"

"Do I have to spell it out?" A moment of quiet tension. She was almost furious that he wasn't going to let this go. "I suck cock. And let people fuck me for money." There was a hard edge of anger in her voice, but her energy was driven by fear. Of what she wasn't sure. Black splotches invaded her vision and her breathing had almost completely stopped. James looked relieved. He held out his hand. What did he want from her? She didn't respond. He kept his hand there, inches from hers.

"Ok. You don't need my approval, of course, who am I to even have any say in this? But you're doing the right thing."

She didn't expect that response. A rush of embarrassment and shame flooded her skin, bones, and muscles. "I fucking know I don't need your approval, for fucks sake. Do you hate me?"

"Why would I hate you? I just told you you're doing the right thing. I mean it."

"Sure. But underneath your calm, mature facade... are you seething with disgust? Because I probably would be if things were the other way around."

"I'm not. I promise. I'd be lying if I said I loved that you're doing this. I'm terrified you're going to end up like Gwen, but I know you have to help. It wouldn't be you, otherwise."

"I so badly want to say I fucking hate it. But I don't."

"Huh?" James was genuinely surprised. And interested.

Miki confessed, sheepishly, "I like letting strangers do stuff to me."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Wow. I did not see that coming."

"Neither did I." Her eyes narrowed, challengingly, "...now what do you think of me?"

"I'm super turned on. Fuck."

"I don't know if I should give you a hug or punch you in the face right now."

"Me either. You're welcome to do both." Miki exploded in laughter. The hysterical kind, triggered by relief and embarrassment, and amplified by adrenaline and endorphins. James reached a little farther and took her hand in his, smiling. She gripped his, firmly.

"So what was it like?"

"You seriously want to know?"

"Yeah." He stroked the back of her hand and looked into her eyes. She swallowed but didn't pull her hand away. He looked like he meant it.

"It started with the interview. Remember how you predicted I'd be inspected? Well I was. It was so fucking weird. Serena Lane stuck her fingers in both places. And I sat there naked in her office to sign documents and take dirty pictures. It was the weirdest, most embarrassing several hours of my life. And I didn't totally hate it."

"Ok. What did you like about it?" He couldn't help but look her over. Her cheeks flushed a bit, and she tensed her thighs together.

"It was humiliating. And the more humiliated I felt, the more my... you know... I was turned on."

"I don't know what to say."

"That I'm a terrible person? Who the fuck gets turned on by being objectified and disgraced? That's not the end of it. That night I had my first 'client'...," she gestured air quotes, "...fuck I need a drink."

James got up, poured Miki a tall glass of red wine, and lit a joint. "So? What was it like?" She gulped half of it down without taking a breath, then took the joint and inhaled as deeply as she could stand, before coughing out plumes of smoke.

She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "How much do you want to know?"

She could see him fidget. And she noticed a little bulge in his pants. "I don't know. Everything? Tell me as much as you want." His breathing stuttered. His pupils dilated.

Her world was a weird, fucked up, and not altogether horrible place if both of them got off on her humiliation. "I took off all my clothes. It was crazy. Seriously I'd never have made it if you hadn't helped me practice. So thanks, I guess?"

"Ha! You're welcome." James remembered Miki standing naked in front of him. And imagined her naked, in front of a stranger. Both were titillating. "I'm assuming it didn't end there."

Miki shook her head. She recounted to James nearly all of her... adventures. He deserved the truth, and she needed to confess really, really badly. He was the only one she could do this with. Gwen was gone. Her parents? No fucking way. She had lots of casual friends, but seriously nobody she'd even bother updating about anything more than her plans for the weekend or which coffee shop she was currently infatuated with.

And then she noticed his bulge. It didn't come as a surprise, she'd just described herself sucking, fucking, and getting cum on, and James was still there, listening. If she'd had a cock it would be hard as fuck right now. Her pussy was definitely making itself known. She looked into his eyes but couldn't tell what was going on behind them. Did he want to fuck her? Was she soiled goods in his eyes?

James could barely contain himself. He wasn't sure if it was lust, love, rage, or fear that was coursing through his body as she spoke. Probably all of the above. He wanted so badly to touch her. He wanted to do all those things she was describing. Why was she telling him this shit? Because I asked, dumb-fuck. But if they had sex now it would break something. Here she was, baring her soul to him about... about prostituting herself to save her best friend. Why was this happening? Irrelevant. He needed to be strong.

Why was he staring at her like that? Miki wished he'd just come out and be honest, that she was gross and he was going to move on, have a nice fucking life. His silence was infuriating. "Are you just going to sit there, judging me? You wanted to know."

"It's not that. I swear I meant what I said. I'm just so fucking turned on right now I can't think straight. And if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that we shouldn't... until... well you're busy and this is so... complicated."

There it was: 'complicated'. Nice euphemism, asshole. "Yeah. Well I wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole, either." Miki would have slumped if her blood wasn't boiling.

Fuck. James held her hand, pulled her up and out of her seat, into his arms, into a long hug laden with too many thoughts and feelings to verbalize. He felt her lurch in his arms. Was she crying? He couldn't tell but it felt like it. He held her some more and just breathed.

Miki pulled back after a minute in James' arms, kissed him on the cheek, and left in the remaining silence.