All Comments on 'The Downfall of Thomas and Jane'

It sounds as if this story is set in the United States, and it seemed as if the writer really was from the U.S. until 1) Burke used the word "lad," which his character certainly wouldn't use if he were American, and 2) you used the word "favour" with a "u." An American editor could help with that, since nothing in the rest of the story sounded as if it wasn't written by a native U.S. English speaker, and all that American stuff sounded very convincing.

That pedant stuff aside, the sex was hot, but the descent into depravity seemed a bit quick. Why not toss in anal or gangbanging the entire bar or beastiality (is that allowed on Lit?), as long as she was going all the way from never-been-kissed to slut-girlfriend / wife in one night?

Loved every part and would like to see it carried further. By the way there are plenty of people in the USA from England and Europe that use the word lad and spell favour with a u so it's no big deal. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!