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The Dream Life Ch. 01

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12 Comments
WatcherEyeWatcherEyeover 1 year agoAuthor

@anon that's a hot idea

WatcherEyeWatcherEyeover 1 year agoAuthor

@dingdong33 Thank you, I appreciate your feedback! I'll eventually get around to an editor, a second eye always helps.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Very poorly written. Needs significant editing. To arouse you don't need to mention how many inches she shallows.

A typical story scenario ruined by silly ramblings.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Maybe next time he can make Liz squirt

DINGDONG33DINGDONG33over 1 year ago

Funny how some have a way to tell you how bad but can't show their name or handle.

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