All Comments on 'The Eden Conferance Ch. 03'

I did get a lot of blow back from people on this series. I am thinking because it is a little over the top and a religious connection added to it. Either way, ( I think I can do this?), Although not an inspiration for this series---- Jaqueline Carey who is an excellent authoress wrote a series of books starting with "Kushiel's Dart." It is alternative history and follows some of the same lines I did. It really is an excellent series of books and.... She can actually write. Which should be pleasant after reading my series? Thank you so much for reading, voting and the critique. Kisses!

Through out the series you had an issue with names. In the second chapter you during the family Eden Conference you mixed Chastity up with Prudence. Then in this chapter even though right at the beginning where you give a brief overview of the characters Thomas' wife is listed as being named Emily then all of a sudden her name is Melanie. That really turned me off to the story. Also the ending seemed kind of rushed and over the top.

You probably won't see this comment, anonymous but wanted to thank you for the critique. The name thing has been a problem. I probably should start using a score card? The rushing was a comment that struck home. Throughout chapter 03, I felt like I was rushing. I probably should listen to my instincts but your comment will come home to roost. Appreciated the comment.

imaginative, fun, and erotic. but seriously, in this series at least, you need an editor! maybe you're someone who never reads what she's written, or, like my own wife, will read it but just can't tell - just has a different type of brain, though smarter than i. grab someone who's just reasonably fussy with english - one who knows that "woman" is singular, "women" plural (too many authors on this site write "women" for either). someone who can catch malapropisms like flagellant for flatulent, or change sister in laws to sisters in law, or either do I for neither do I. There's lots more, but it has to be read by someone who can automatically spot stuff. or, maybe you just don't care, but wish to go onto the next thing. that's ok also. the reader can get your intended meaning in spite of the above (except perhaps for "flagellant"- he who is being whipped or flogged as opposed to "flatulent" - he who farts. most know the second, few the first). being a visual word person myself, it had never occurred to me that these two will sound the same to many. so, in addition to being turned on by reading about women being fucked in the ass, i've learnt something - thanks!

peter

some freaky people here...lol...not the best i have read but a pretty good story. these people would never survive in the real world.

I found this story quite enjoyable and really liked the way this author writes. Yes, there were issues with the editing, but this author has a real ability to create engaging characters and put them into intriguing situations

Beautiful, hot, and an awesome plot! I love that you put those twins and their grandfather down. Yes! Thank you, much enjoyed