All Comments on 'The Education of Adele'

Interesting instruction for Adele but should have more actions and feelings

That was a cute story! I have to agree with gpeta, though. If you included a bit more descriptions of their sensations and emotions, that would really enhance the story. It would also help us connect with the characters if you described them. Aside from stating that the nameless male protagonist is a natural blonde and Adele is Asian, you don't give us any description, other than their ages, which doesn't tell us much.

The fact that you describe the surroundings and actions the characters take, yet don't give us anything about what they look like creates a kind of glaring contrast. It's like what descrition you did give made what description you didn't give all the more noticeable and ostentatious.

On the upside, the characters were nicely written! They aren't the typical generica Nilla wafers. You had them act on personal motivations and they clearly had personalities. I loved Adele's curiousity about the nameless protagonist's body and the way she said his penis was beautiful.

That said, the fact that Adele gives the protagonist her name but he never gives one back is... strange. Like, given how he acted around Adele, it feels uncharacteristically rude to not give his name back. Had there been a line saying that he was too nervous to give her his name, or he didn't want to give her his name due to his nudity, that wouldn't at least helped us understand why he's nameless. But at present, to me as a reader, it reads like you either forgot to give his name or wrote him being deliberately rude and snubbing Adele during her introduction.

All in all, really good foundation, and you show promise as an erotica author! A bit of improvement and you'll go a long way.