The Emasculation of Henry Smith

1.

"Yeah, divorces are expensive because they're worth it." I joked to Tony, the bartender as he handed me my drink and pretended to ignore me as he turned back to the Cowboys/Giants game on the TV over the bar. I'm pretty sure that if I had been drinking something less expensive than the 18-year-old Macallan in my glass, the bartender might have been even more gruff. I had made the unforgivable error of admitting I was from Texas and therefore, a Cowboys fan. In his defense, it was a very good game and his ire was all in good fun. Old style, low scoring defensive masterpiece due, in part, to the same storm that had dumped three feet of snow and ice on the Big Apple in just a few hours, cancelling my flight back to Austin in the process thereby stranding me in the hotel that the airline had so graciously referred me to.

It also helped that the Giants and the Cowboys were the two best teams in the league with dominant defenses; their meeting earlier in the year in Dallas had ended in a 13 -- 13, tie. The winner of this game would get the number one seed in the playoffs with all the pundits agreeing they would probably meet for a third time to determine who went to the Super Bowl.

Mr. Macallan and I were old friends and the only two in the bar other than Tony and while Macallan was good company, he wasn't much for conversation. I turned my attention to the tv to see Zeke Elliott slip as he tried to take the outside and slide out of bounds for a three-yard loss. The Cowboys would be forced to punt, again. The bartender cheered and maybe, just maybe, my chances of getting to continue my association with Mr. Macallan improved, ever so slightly. I sipped my drink judiciously and watched in silence as the two teams fought on in the ice and snow, neither looking as if they could do much to gain any appreciable advantage over their opponent.

The third quarter ended, and Tony turned to grin at me as his Giants had managed a field goal to take the lead. I nodded a deferential nod and motioned that I would, in fact, like another drink.

"I'll have the same.", said a sultry voice reminiscent of Lauren Bacall from over my right shoulder. Tony poured a Macallan to match mine and placed it in front of a tall brunette with piercing hazel eyes as she slid onto the barstool next to mine.

"What's the score?" she asked as my mind scrambled for some semblance of something clever Bogart might have said in 'Casablanca' or 'The Big Sleep.'

"10 -- 7, Giants." Tony answered. "Who you for?"

"To be honest, I hope they tie again." She said, "But, I'm from Philly and we suck, so I can't say too much."

"I'm Tony and this Cowboy piece of trash is Henry." Tony offered nodding with a grin in my general direction.

"Henry, Tony" she acknowledged as she raised her glass.

"I'm Bonnie. Nice to meet you gentlemen." She said through an adorable smirk with extra emphasis on the word 'gentlemen.' "Should I go back and lock the door before some damn Washington fan crawls in?"

I gave up on a clever line and just laughed along with Tony and our new best friend.

"Careful, my wife is from D.C." Tony answered with a mischievous grin. "We tolerate each other for football season." We all laughed again.

The sound of the announcer's voices let us know the commercial break was over and Tony turned back to the game.

"So, Henry, what brings you here on a night like this?" Bonnie asked.

"Cancelled flight. Damn, I hate snow. That's why I live in Texas." I replied. "I'm here for the night. Had the choice of standby or a voucher for another flight. I get to call in tomorrow and see what I can get. With New Years, I figure most of the traffic is incoming, so I don't think it will be a problem."

"American. Through DFW?" she asked.

"Yep, That's the one."

"I'm pretty sure we're on the same flight. I'm heading to see my brother. He a psychologist down there"

"Looks like we're stuck here together then. I hope Tony doesn't run out of Macallan."

"Not a chance." Tony chimed in letting us know he wasn't really ignoring us as much as it might have appeared.

Bonnie put her hand on my arm, her eyes meeting mine. "So, tell me your story? How does a Texas boy get stuck in a New Jersey airport hotel all by himself two days before New Year's?" Her smile and her voice immediately put me at ease as I pulled my attention away from the game and started talking. Her eyes started to turn green as she listened intently to my melancholy tale.

I told her my story. Growing up in West Texas. Bachelor's degree in Computer Science from The University of Texas. Good job with 'some big tech company down there.' The ten-year marriage to April, my high school sweetheart, the last five scraping and scrimping while she went back to school for her MBA and then to law school. Our inability to have children that we both said we wanted. The offer of an interview at a prestigious wall street law firm. Her trip to New York to meet with the firm's recruiter and then six months of nothing until the process server showed up on my door with the papers. April had filed for divorce in New York citing unreconcilable differences. No mention of the fact that it would have been inconvenient for me to join her in the apartment she was sharing with her new partner. She had taken me for everything. I was devastated. It had taken most of my share of our savings and what little equity we had in our house to pay a New York attorney to represent me in the divorce. Fortunately, I didn't have anything left worth fighting over and April was going to be making considerably more than me, so the actual divorce was relatively simple. I did have to fly to New York for the hearings. The divorce was final yesterday and I was going home to start over. That, being stuck in a hotel bar with a bartender with an affinity for the wrong shade of blue, my ongoing relationship with Mr. Macallan that looked as if it was going to leave me with one hell of a hangover; all things considered, life was just peachy.

"Goddam harpy would have taken my manhood, if she could have figured out how," I cried as the pain I felt turned to anger. I downed the rest of my scotch and practically slammed my glass on the bar.

Bonnie gently squeezed my arm, leaned in and whispered, "I am so sorry. I didn't realize."

"That's OK, you couldn't have known and besides, I should be apologizing to you. I just pretty much threw up all over your shoes. Fucking bitch!"

I looked up and her surprised eyes met mine. "Not you..." I stammered.

"It's OK, I know who you meant." She said softly. "You know you're going to be OK, right?" gently squeezing my arm again.

I placed my hand on top of hers and said, softly, "I'd like to think so. It felt good to get all that off my chest. Thank you for listening."

"I got the sense you might need a friend when I sat down. With you being in hostile territory and all." Her smile as she nodded toward Tony dissolved any anger I still felt. She threw an ice cube, hitting him square between the shoulders. "Hey barkeep, two more of the same."

A string of curse words that would have made any self-respecting sailor blush exploded as Tony turned around.

Bonnie turned beet red and immediately began to apologize, "Tony, I am so sorry. Please forgive..." only to be cut off as Tony continued to yell, "Can you believe that shit? Fucking last second hail-mary in a goddamned blizzard. I hate the Cowboys and neither one of you better say a fucking word if you ever want to drink in here again! Shit, Shit, Shit!!"

The confused look on our faces caught Tony off guard as he suddenly looked like he was in the wrong bar. I looked up to see the final score of Dallas 14, NY 10, on the screen. "You two weren't even watching, were you?" A look of confusion, mild anger and bemusement filled his face.

"No sorry", I answered through a sheepish grin. "We kind of got busy talking to each other."

"And I kind of threw some ice at you while you weren't looking." Bonnie added.

"Well, at least I don't have to listen to you go on about what a fucking great pass that was and all that crap.", Tony glared at me and then smiled. "We'll get you assholes next time. You can bet on it. So, two more?"

"Yes please." Bonnie answered with her sweetest smile; batting her eyelashes at Tony for added emphasis.

"No fair. Letting the pretty lady answer for you. I knew you Cowboys were wimps." Tony laughed as he poured our drinks. The game was over and like true fans, any animosity was gone, until next time.

"Whatever works.' I smirked in response. "And you better give me the check with these two, if I don't stop now, I'll be sleeping in your bar tonight."

"Good point." Tony acknowledged. "On both counts. For what it's worth, the diner next door is actually pretty good and probably not very crowded right now."

I looked at Bonnie. Her smile was all the answer I needed. We took the time to finish our drinks, grabbed our coats and left Tony to his bar and a very generous tip with the numbers 14 -- 10 conspicuously written in block letters across the top of the receipt.

The words "Fucking asshole!" followed us out of the bar into the snow. We laughed at Tony's fake anger as Bonnie's hand slid into my pocket, her fingers interlocking with mine. She leant against my arm using me for support. I was definitely caught off guard but decided I wasn't going to complain.

"I'm glad you were here today." I said. "I really needed to vent."

"And I'm glad I could be there for you. I can't explain it, but I really like you, Henry." Bonnie answered gently squeezing my hand with hers as we worked our way through the heavy snow and across the parking lot. I smiled and squeezed back recognizing that something special was happening, completely forgetting about all the crap with April in the process. Maybe things really were going to be OK.

The restaurant was a regional chain, a 50's style diner probably a step above you average 24-hour breakfast restaurant. The décor was warm and inviting and, as promised, the restaurant was not very busy. We were greeted by a 60 something lady named Maggie that could have been anybody's grandmother. Maggie had her grey hair in tight curls, wore a huge smile that I had a strong feeling never came off and was also our waitress. She seated us in a booth away from the few other occupied tables scattered across the restaurant correctly assuming we would want a little privacy.

At Maggie's recommendation, we both got the special, a truly amazing meatloaf served with mashed potatoes, an excess of brown gravy, and green beans. We followed that with some home-made apple pie, alamode, of course, and two cups of coffee.

Over the course of our dinner, we talked about everything and nothing discovering that we had quite a bit in common including a willingness to make fun of our now favorite bartender and his zeal for the NY Giants.

Bonnie was born and raised in Pennsylvania. Her family owned a chain of furniture stores around Philadelphia and the eastern parts of the state. She had grown up in a pretty normal upper middle-class community and as the youngest, by three minutes, of six kids, four boys and two girls. She did all the normal stuff through high school ultimately graduating from Penn State with a degree in business. She had a falling out with her father over her involvement in the family business, something she didn't want to go into details about, and was going to stay with her twin brother, a Psychologist in Texas until she could figure out what she wanted to be when she grew up. We both thought it an odd coincidence that our exes were both named April, but New York was a very big city.

Two lost souls starting over. Shakespeare couldn't have written it better.

The restaurant had filled up with the late-night crowd and Maggie came up tour table for probably the fourth time since she had dropped off the check. "I'm sorry folks. I wish I could let you sit here all night, but I really need the table, unless there's something else..."

The smile was still there but, really, how do you argue with anybody's grandmother? I counted out the cash for the bill and tip and added another fifty for hogging the table.

"Thanks." I nodded at Maggie, meeting her smile with one of my own and turned to help Bonnie with her coat. As we worked our way out the door into the night, Bonnie's hand once again found mine.

The noise of the diner behind us we found a special quiet in the snow that had a beauty all its own and neither of us wanted to disturb it. The snow was still heavy but without the wind, it added a delicate feel to the world around us. We walked across the parking lot without saying a word.

As we neared the door to the hotel, Bonnie stopped, gently squeezing my hand in hers causing me to turn and face her. As our eyes met, her free hand reached into my other pocket to find mine. Her hazel eyes burned a brilliant green as she leaned into me, biting her bottom lip seductively and rising ever so slightly on her toes. I met her halfway. Our eyes closed as our lips met, sending a warmth through my body I had not experienced in a very long time, awakening emotions I had done my best to bury. An eternity in a second, I could feel my life changing. Burning desires, I thought long gone swelled and raged within me.

Everything in my body wanted to pursue those feelings as Bonnie dropped to her feet slowly pulling her lips from mine. I opened my eyes to once again see the brilliant green in her eyes. Lost in that emerald expanse, I knew that the emotions and desires would have to wait, settling instead for the smile that followed. It was enough. I knew I was hers. Whatever that meant, I was hers.

Bonnie turned and led me to the door of the hotel, walking ever so slightly ahead of me she stopped to allow me to open the door for her.

We brushed the snow from our coats and walked into the lobby. Bonnie looked up at me, the brilliant green slowly fading from her eyes. "That was very nice." She smiled.

I leaned in to kiss her again only to be met with her index finger on my lips. "Not, just, yet." Her words were spaced for emphasis and the mischievous grin that accompanied the gesture excited me beyond belief. She was teasing me, and I liked it. I thought of the passion of our kiss; the emotions it had awoken and the desires it had rekindled. Thoughts of Bonnie; her eyes, her hair, her lips, her delicate hands and long slender fingers, the images coursed through my mind with images of what I imagined the body beneath her sweater was like. Somehow, knowing I had to wait made it all sweeter. I didn't understand, but I knew it was true.

"Henry. Henry, will you walk me to my room?" Her sultry voice called me back from the thoughts racing through my mind.

"Where were you." She asked.

"I'm almost embarrassed to tell you." I answered secretly hoping that she was there too.

"Don't be and I hope you will." Her eyes danced as she reached up and brushed the last few snowflakes from my hair. She slipped her hand once again in mine and turned to lead me to the elevator.

"I'm on 5. What room are you in?" she asked as we entered the elevator.

"I'm in 701." I replied as I pressed the button for her floor.

Bonnie turned to me as the doors closed and smiled. "Now." She said.

I didn't need to be told twice. I looked deeply into her eyes and watched, enthralled, as the brilliant emerald green returned. Leaning down and pulling her close, I kissed her - softly at first and then more vigorously, more deeply, more passionately. My tongue began to explore her mouth and an intricate dance ensued; sometimes tentative and sometimes fierce as our tongues played inside her mouth and then mine echoing the desires coursing through my body. We paused, gazing deeply into each other eyes. The brilliant green danced as if alive. I kissed her again, this time softly; first her top lip, then her bottom, then both but gently as one would a sleeping baby. My lips slid to the side of her face finding her ear lobe; pausing to nibble for just a second before my tongue traced a fine line down to her collar bone and back. She moaned softly. A series of quick caresses brought me back to her waiting lips where passion once again ruled only to be interrupted by the ding of the elevator as it stopped on her floor.

Bonnie moved away and kissed me three times in quick succession, grabbing my hand and pulling from the elevator. 503 was two doors down on the right. She handed me her key card and I opened the door. She handed me her coat and scarf as she entered heading straight for the bathroom. I took her hint and hung her coat in the closet and folded her scarf, placing it on the shelf above the coat and walked to the window to wait. The scene outside was ethereal. Growing up in Texas, I had only seen this much snow on ski trips to Colorado. Bonnie's room faced the back of the hotel and as such, the snow was almost completely undisturbed. The lights of the city danced through the falling snow and shadows creating a wonderland of subtlety, darkness and light moving in choreographed perfection telling a story older than time to anyone willing to watch.

"I bet your view is better." She whispered as her hands found their way under my open coat, around my waist, and up to my chest, her head laying against my back and her voice floating through the cool air radiating from the window finding its way into the deep recesses of my mind like a thief in the night. I smiled.

"I could show you." Was my reply. I turned around and pulled her close inside my coat, my hands running gently up and down her sweater, tracing her spine as I leant down to find her waiting lips. My mind exploded, returning to thoughts and visions of what lay under her sweater; what hidden treasure was she keeping just beyond my reach and would she share it with me. I felt her hands move up my back and find my shoulders. She pulled me closer and kissed me deeply sliding her hands around to my chest, pulling them in tight and resting her head on my shoulder. I could get used to this.

"I'd like that." Her hand slid down my arm finding my hand and she led me toward the door pausing only briefly to grad a few things from her suitcase and stuffing them into the inside pocket of my coat. A flash of lace caught my eye and I smiled.

We made the ride up the two floors in silence, sharing the elevator with another couple and what appeared to be a small family all evidently refugees from the snowstorm that had thrown thousands of peoples travel plans into disarray. The family got off on six and the other couple travelled with us to seven. They turned left, we turned right. 701 was an executive suite. While not technically a suite, it was slightly larger than most rooms to accommodate a desk just inside the door and a shelf with a coffee maker and a very small microwave they called a kitchenette. Being a corner room, it had a large window that wrapped from one outside wall to the other, which did make for a very nice view. I stopped to hang up my coat as Bonnie made her way across the dark room to the window, pulling the drapes all the way back. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her.

"Told you so." She said as she leaned back against my shoulder and pulled my arms tight around her waist.

The same dance was playing outside my window but far more impressive. There was also a large dark area in the distance that I only surmised was the bay, or maybe the Atlantic Ocean. We stood in silence watching the ballet unfold in the snow and not wanting to end the embrace. The sunrise, should the storm end and the clouds break, would be incredible. I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes, letting the feel of her body against mine and the dozen little smells that surrounded her fill my thoughts. Leaning down, I buried my face in her hair. We stood in silence watching the magnificent performance nature had prepared for us, neither wanting to break the magic of the moment.