All Comments on 'The Emperor'

I kind of felt it jumped around a bit too much, it was good, but felt like it was in a race, running breahtlessly towards the finish line at breakneck speed.

Loved it :)

This whole series has been great and have thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it.

Many thanks for sharing with us all.

the last quarter (more or less)feels rushed?

otherwise a solid 5

I had a bit of trouble keeping all the names straight, but still an enjoyable end to the saga :)

Beautifully done, as always Monty

I enjoyed the series - actually read the first two then re-read them before that last two.

Was happy to do all fives

But I think there are some things that you can think about as a writer

First, you have a number of typos and grammar problems, which I don’t think are fatal by themselves, but they suggest strongly that you haven’t gone through your own work with an editors point of view to improve the quality and make it easier for your reader. I think some of the comments that you’ve gotten so far about the complexity of the last piece or testimony to that. Your story is very difficult to follow the deeper you get into it. Names are similar. It’s all very arcane the way you’ve developed it and you’re not really helping your reader by the degree of complexity.

The plot line of you’ve developed it is very interesting very compelling, but it is very complex and I don’t think it lens itself in literotica 217 1819 page pieces. Most of us don’t have time to read that anyway and that just makes it even more complicated as you take two or three days to read a particular piece. I would’ve published it in four parts Each one five or six chapters published separately.

I think if you did that the sex would be a lot less boring. I found myself just stunning through very quickly how this giant with the monster cock had sex with all these different creatures. It was frankly boring. You need a lot of that in one of the stories, but I think more chapters would make it easier to with that together, but I think you could also cut a lot of it out.

For that matter, I think you could cut out a lot of the complexity. There are all kinds of little bits and Bibles that you have hung onto the story, but if you stand back and you look at them, you have to wonder if it really adds any value or just adds length. My experience as a writer is that your first draft is probably about 1/3 in need of being cut Factice probably a first draft is probably 50% needing to be cut with another 20% or so tacked on as you evolve the text Make it fit better make it work better for the reader .

And I think if you did some of those things, it would flow more smoothly. An example is the dwarfs showing up at the end to enable you to end the story. There are lots of ways you could have created an ending for the story, without pulling a rabbit out of a hat.

I hope this is thought-provoking and perhaps helpful and I will acknowledge that I have dictated this which is a good way to create a first draft and a bad way to create a long letter. Thanks for your work.

Great series!!!

i agree with Mike9947 somewhat. I started out to re-read the original, only to discover you'd written the additional three parts. Don't get me wrong, I like the story. But it's clear you need a proofreader, just to solve the easy problems with mispellings/typos, incomplete and split sentences. As an editor, I don't try to make comments Mike suggested, like cutting story parts, but this last part definitely seemed like it was way more prone to the simple errors. Blomst was a distraction to the the story. Then it seemed like you ran out of steam at the end. If there was a dwarf king strong enough to pick which faction he wanted to ally with and wipe the other out, why did he wait until the end of the story to show and and bring peace? Very out of line with the rest of the story. Did Ally die? It seems like it was a certainly though you dashed past it with little fanfare... was Eila healed fully? So much alluded to and not explored!

It was nice. I think a better title would be, The Conqueror. Fresler has no desire to rule. But he proved that he could and did conquer the surrounding countryside to keep his family safe.

There were some grammar mistakes and in a few points, the scenes seemed to shift without explanation of what was going on. It could have benefited from a bit of refinement and editing.

Something to consider is picking up the story of one or more of his sons and/or daughters going off on their own. Fresler is an overpowered character who is happy to live with his wives and being left alone. Starting a new storyline with a character who has never been tested but has potential is a key element of any storyline. Maybe it’s the character is a black sheep or cast out for one reason or another. Perhaps they just want to explore. Since Fresler and by extension his wives are essentially immortal, perhaps a couple hundred years have passed. The empire essentially runs itself, but since Fresler is not interested in ruling, the empire is starting to fragment into kingdoms. What ever happens is the catalyst for a new story. Just an idea

Regarding your note for the mods, it seems author NovusAnimus has their "An Inhuman Love" series as a collection. Seems to be possible.

First ,I want to applaud you for finishing this fourth book. I honestly thought it would only be a 3-part series, so this is a very nice addition.

Second, I won't harp on all the issues which the other comments already mentioned. I think you have enough information from them. I will say, the lack of clear breaks between time shifts, location changes, and changes in battle made it very difficult to recognize originally how the story was progressing. While the first few books don't have many time jumps, this one was more akin to a series of small snippets in time, tied together to show us the progression of Fresler's military conquests. So, a simple subhead saying, "3 months later" or "1 year later", etc, would be beneficial as a reader.

Thank you for writing this, it was very enjoyable. Best of luck, and 5 stars!

Enjoy this tale

5 super Nova star...

There was so much “story” left to be told. This could have easily been a tale of epic standards. Still as it is it’s a great Story. Ty for writing it.

Oh yeah you can still pull a fifth one out …… please 🙏

Solid series. Yes the last book covers a bigger time span so the last part feels rushed compared to the pacing of the first three books, but I'd rather have this than an abandoned series.

I did hope Aleecee will chose him as husband, and this is only hinted to in the epilogue. Except for this the story arc gives a satisfying conclusion while leaving the door open for future struggles. His life is ruled by his lovely wives and that's exactly how he wants it.