All Comments on 'The Enforcer Ch. 05'
by N7Spectre
- 6 Comments
Jackspeed2uover 1 year agoWell 1 star for incomplete. It’s a shame because I like stories where a Goddess or God has a mortal servant. There aren’t too many that I can find and just about every one is incomplete.
I used to write short stories just a page or two and when I approached my high school English teacher from year 8 to year 12 final year about having trouble ending stories I was told… “To start envisioning the story from the end. Then once you know how you want to end you have to think about where all the characters are starting from. Then you have to think up key moments for the characters that suit the character and are things they would do. So you have a START and KEY STORY CHARACTER POINTS FOR THE MAIN BODY and you already have the END. Then you just walk the characters through the points beginning to end as each of this characters would walk the path.”
I cleaned up my favourite stories that way and wrote more, but I like writing short stories unlike yours. So maybe you could use that process to help you get Part 2 of the Enforcer out?
On the side Derek could have teleported in using the video of Sarah and Sarah herself as location information, then on arrival raised a ‘standard’ maybe 3m diameter shield cheap and nasty but fast just to deflect the first couple of attacks while a better one went up. Then choked out a few cuthern and then teleported the unconscious cuthern and Sarah and himself out of there. He was stupid. Rule 1 through 100 is never let yourself be taken to a secondary site, they only do that because they don’t want an audience for the bad shit. Rule 101 control the situation as best you can even if it means just controlling tiny seemingly insignificant things. This is for your moral and also to put friction into the enemies plans.
Also as an aside Derek should never drive to his house. He should park his car in a secluded car park that he would never normally go to for any reason and has a couple of entries and exits. Then put a protective spell on it a good one everything he has and as permanent as possible so he’s basically made a protected against magic and stuff inconspicuous TANK. Now Derek will teleport from home to the car always and drive from the car park. Even make it a random car park that changes each time, cycle through say 6 of them. Now your house location is protected with an ‘air gap’. Since you’re teleporting into your car which you know the inside of very well the actual car location of wherever you leave it is irrivelant. Anyone you take to your home always gets teleported into it from their place or from parking at your car and meeting them there and teleporting them in. For dates with Sarah you can teleport to her front door and then teleport both of you to your car or just port to your car and drive to her.
That’s just some tips for setting up for a ‘war’ and protecting your home location . Derek and his family need to move and not tell anyone the new address. Remember teleporting in and out any magic users or just never take them EVER to your new house. Derek should also get a little cash somehow and then buy a small house with a little land on a moutain top in somewhere cheap like rural Thailand I’m talking $20k USD. Then stock it up with long life ration packs and bottled water, medical supplies, clothes, computer, new phone, new number new email all installed. Then protection spell the shit out of the place and NEVER TELL ANYONE EVEN GIRLS AND PARENTS about the place. Best thing is if you’re handy then he changes the inside and outside look substantially so no one at all except Derek knows what it looks like so no one can teleport in except him. Derek can always then just teleport there for 100% unknown preprotected R and R and in an emergency.
N7Spectre@N7Spectre
