All Comments on 'The Extended Family Ch. 08'

Did I miss something? I thought Mel was Lynn's daughter, not Karen's. So, Bev wouldn't be Mel's grandmother, they'd be strangers. Other than that little internal inconsistency, not a bad story.

I echo the other comment about your story inconsistancy, but i still give you 100 because of the plot line, your character developments and your understanding of the requirement for the fullness of the coital act when love is envolved - foreplay, coitus and post (cuddling) play.

However, I DO wish you would do some intensive proofing of your work. There ARE many of us out here who read your work with an intent to fully understand and comprehend (as we read) what you are saying. Inconsistencies in spelling, punctuation, facts in plot line, etc. are distracting and do not do credit to your ability and the work that you are producing. Please, humor me and some of the rest of your readers in this area.

Thanks again for your otherwise very GOOD work!!!

I have a friend who watches period movies looking for the out-of-place airplanes or a wristwatch on a gladiator. I think he misses the joy of the story. Once Lynn and Karen became family Bev became Mel's grandmother... biology no longer was the determining factor. Love is always the determining factor.

i love the writing, the storyline. 5 stars!!