The Extremely Full Monty Ch. 01

The painful memories alluded to the fact that my wife passed away three years ago. She was probably better known and definitely better liked than I ever was. As I tend toward introversion, she was always all out there. She made friends crossing the street. A singer, drum player, painter, knitter, and a dozen other things meant she was with lots of people. Connie was everyone's favorite.

I never minded being in her shadow. Where I operated mostly behind the scenes and worked with the leaders of companies, boards and government, Connie was bounding through life casting a huge shadow and making lots of waves. I hardly left a wake behind me, but knew I was effective in what I did.

After listening to her complaining for a week about not feeling well, I insisted she see her doctor. He ran tests and was non-committal. He did recommend she go to Boston for more tests. Both of us knew that was not a good omen. Before we left Boston on that dark, cold day in February, Connie was told that she had pancreatic cancer. By the time we arrived back at our house, Connie had been on the phone with our two girls, and insisted that they meet us that evening. With more courage than I could ever imagine, she gave them the straight story. Amidst all our tears, Connie told them we all had to begin preparing for life after her.

We were in denial, but she was determined that there would be no pity parties. She was relentless for the next four weeks. Then her sickness took over. The last two weeks of her life were miserable, but she tried her best to support me and the girls.

It was now over three years. I had sold the house and moved to the loft. Mindy was living in Boston, and working for a publishing house. Gigi had moved to the Denver area, and was managing the ski business in one of the major resorts. They both offered to stay with me, but I insisted they had to get on with their own lives.

I surprised myself when I felt a tear run down my cheek. I dried it with my napkin.

"Sorry about that, Kathleen."

"No, Robbie. It's ok. I still do that when I think of my dad."

She patted the back of my hand. We had really just met, but that simple gesture meant more to me than she would ever know.

"Anyway," I said, "we need a plan to make Kathleen Robinson the most recognized name in the state."

She beamed and we ordered a second beer.

We were going through a list of people she needed to meet and she was taking notes on a small paper pad with a soft leather cover. I was strangely impressed that she used this "old fashioned" method as opposed to tapping into a tablet.

"Hi, Mr. C."

I looked up to see Katie and couple of her friends.

I stood and hugged her. She was as much a daughter to me as was Mindy. I recognized her friends as part of the crew that used to hang around our house.

I introduced them to Kathleen.

"Hey, I heard the big news," said Katie.

"Oh," was my sparkling comeback.

"Yeah, mom was like all Robbie this and Robbie that. You made her day."

"Well, your mom is hard to say no to."

"Tell me," she said. "What's even cooler is we'll be working together."

"How so?"

"Didn't she tell you? I'm working at the theater for the summer. I'm going to be stage manager for the production. Plus, scenery designer and probably janitor. You know we try to stretch the budget."

"Uh, well, great."

"Gotta run. Nice to meet you Ms. Robinson." In a second the three young women were off to wherever young women go.

"Nice young woman," said Kathleen.

I explained how I knew her and her mother, Sarah.

"I heard about the theater. Everyone says there are always great shows. What's the one she's talking about?"

I paused and then said softly, "The Full Monty."

Kathleen's eyes widened.

"A bit racy for a community theater," she said.

I explained the rationale behind the decision, and how we planned to market it. Kathleen nodded as I spoke. As I finished, she said, "What did Katie mean you'll be working together. Are you directing it or something?"

There was no easy way to explain what I was facing.

"No, I'm going to be in the cast." Kathleen sat still. I'm sure it was an unintended reflex, but her eyes darted down and then back up.

"Well, that could be..."

As she struggled to find the correct word, I said, "Embarrassing."

She laughed and shook her head. "I was thinking more like 'interesting."

"For whom?'

"For you and the audience," she said. I noticed her blush. I told her I doubted that. I only hoped people wouldn't run screaming from the theater. I changed the subject back to helping Kathleen make contacts and she continued to make notes. We sat at the outside table until it was almost six. I offered to buy her dinner, but she had agreed to meet a friend in a nearby town.

"Kathleen, would you mind giving me your cell number?"

"No problem," she said. "Why?"

"I was going to call you earlier to see if maybe we miscommunicated and realized I only had the number for the foundation. If it makes you uncomfortable, then it's not a big deal."

"I don't mind, Robbie. I'd be happy, and you can definitely call me any time." She seemed to realize how that last statement might sound.

"I mean, you know, if you wanted to see me."

She now was visibly shaken. "I mean not "see me" see me. Not that that would be a bad thing, but I didn't mean..."

"Kathleen, I know what you mean." I slipped her my card that had both my land and cell numbers. She gave me hers, and wrote her cell number on the back.

Kathleen had told me she lived in town and commuted to the capital, where the foundation was located. I knew from her description where her apartment was. She did not mention a husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or roommate. I told her she should feel free to call my cell at any time. "You never know when you might run into a mouse or bat."

"You could handle a bat?"

"Probably not," I said, "but we could freak out together."

We both laughed.

We stood and shook hands again. I felt like she was considering hugging me, but neither of us made a move. We locked eyes for a moment. I let myself acknowledge how attractive she is. Her blue eyes were clear behind her dark-framed glasses.

"Nice to get to know you a little better," I said.

"Me, too. Thanks, Robbie."

As she walked back down the sidewalk, I watched her skirt swirl around her legs, revealing shapely calves. She was tall with a nice figure. Her light brown hair bounced softly with her strides. It was cut well, but in a conservative fashion. I agreed it was a good look for a woman working with wealthy people. Not so sexy that women would wonder why she was meeting with their husbands, but attractive enough to get men to agree to meet with her.

I told myself to come back to reality. She had to be at least twenty years younger than me. Well, maybe a little less. But, what difference did it make. I certainly was not looking to get back into dating, and she would never be interested in a person my age.

The next day I received a text from Kathleen thanking me for taking the time to meet her. I replied it was my pleasure and maybe we could catch up in a couple weeks to see how she was doing. As I hit send, I wondered if that were the only reason I proposed meeting her again.

I immediately received a reply saying she'd enjoy getting together. She also said she looked forward to meeting again. She added a PS that said she was looking forward to the show this summer and added a smiley face emoticon. At least that encounter would not happen for a while. I looked at my calendar and was calculating the days before rehearsals started. My phone rang and I found a familiar voice on the line. It was Karen Crawford.

As Sarah had predicted, when the board of the theater agreed to let her put on The Full Monty, there was a lot of discussion about it. When Sarah announced that I was going to be in the cast, I received more than a few curious stares. In the end we all agreed we needed the revenue and if we properly cautioned people, there should be not problems with the nudity. After the meeting, Karen, one of my wife's best friends and a fellow board member, stopped to talk with me.

"Robbie, I think this is the right decision and I am in full support. I don't think we'll get any blowback, especially if we handle the pre-publicity." Karen operated her own public relations firm in town and I valued her opinion.

"And, I must say," she continued, "That I admire you for being willing to do the play. Please take this the right way, but Connie would be so proud of you. She always felt that she was sometimes too much for you."

"Karen, Connie was perfect for me. If it weren't for her, I'd most likely end up a hermit somewhere. I partly said yes because she would have loved the idea of me getting up there and mooning the entire community."

We shared a laugh. "Well, Robbie, I for one am going to get my tickets early. I think I can vouch for our book club that we will all be there."

I think that was meant to be supportive. What it translated into was that I was going to be standing nude in front of my wife's best friends, who are women I have known for twenty years. I began to have serious doubts about this decision. God, Sarah was right on target about the damn book clubs.

Karen was calling to tell me that she had met with the publisher of the local daily paper and the news director of the television station. She explained why we were putting on the show and that although it was adult-themed, it would be professionally done. She reported that they both were supportive, and would help get the word out that this show was not for children. I thanked her. She rang off with a cheery promise to be there for the show. Great, I thought.

***

It seemed like only seconds before we were in rehearsals. This isn't Broadway, and we don't have months to get a show ready. Usually two weeks is about all the time allowed from first read-through to opening night. Sarah had secured two excellent equity actors from New York who could dance their asses off to be our leads. Our regular music director put together a small ensemble for the show. For rehearsals she would accompany us on piano. We would have one run through with the ensemble and the full dress rehearsal with them as well.

Sarah addressed the nudity on our first day together.

"Guys, listen up. You are going to be nude on stage. Of course, you'll have a hat and shoes, but your dear, sweet buns will be front and center. So, just get over worrying about that. For most of our rehearsals, you will wear something. As we get close to opening night, you will have to do the nude parts, well, in the nude. So, that means as we work on the final blocking, lighting, choreography and other details, you will be on stage naked. Get your minds around it now."

Sarah addressed us men, since there were only a few supporting female roles. She treated us maturely. Although I had resigned myself to the nudity, I was a bit uncomfortable during Sarah's talk since her daughter, Katie, was sitting among us. If anything made me nervous, it was having my daughter's best friend see me naked.

"Now, to the other thing we need to discuss. Erections!"

Muffled laughter echoed in the theater. "I know these things happen; I used to be married." More polite laughter, she added, "I didn't see erections as often as I would have liked, though." More laughter. I looked at Katie and she just smiled and shook her head. I imagine she was accustomed to Sarah's tendency to speak her mind.

"That's why I want at least three complete run-throughs, including dress rehearsal, with you guys naked. Let's get the nerves out of the way. If you get hard during a real performance, please hide it the best way you can. We've warned people in advance that there would be male nudity. We don't want to abuse the board's tolerance of what the audience will see. If you need to step off stage, then do so discreetly."

We all nodded our approval. I'm sure I was like every other man in the cast, and prayed it would not be me who got excited.

After Sarah's little talk, she distributed the scripts and said we should meet individually with Katie to discuss wardrobe. When it was my turn, I sat across a card table from her in a corner of the stage.

"Hey, Mr. C," she said.

"Hey, yourself. Summer going good?" Katie was going to go to grad school in the fall. She had taken a year off after college and traveled extensively in Europe.

"Yeah, having fun. I'm looking forward to this show." Our eyes locked and then we both laughed.

"I mean because it's a great show and the audience loves it."

"Katie, I know this may be a little embarrassing for both of us."

She giggled and said, "Probably more for you than me. Mr. C. Like I've seen naked guys before. I can admit to even seeing an erection or two, and know what they're used for. But don't tell Mom. Besides it's really just payback."

"Payback?"

"Remember 'Summer Fun'?"

I recalled the original show we did a few years ago. It took place on the beach and dealt with a series of romances that revolved around the shore. Katie was one of the actors. At the time she was a high school senior. She had to do a quick change from a bikini into street clothes. There was no time to go downstairs to the dressing rooms, so she and another girl had to do it in the wings. I was stage managing the play.

We had a lot of discussion where the girls could change. They had to go to skin and we wanted to give them as much privacy as possible. Backstage was always a madhouse with props being shuffled around and actors moving into position. The backstage area in addition to being crowded was small and afforded no private areas. It was decided the least public place was next to me.

The first dress rehearsal found Katie and Marnie running off stage. They pulled their bikinis off and tossed them to me as I held their clothes. Katie looked at me as she stood naked.

"It's all right, Mr. C. They're just tits."

Actually it was a lot more than her tits. I could see everything on her and Marnie. I did not stare, but it was impossible not to notice their nudity. By the end of the run, I was more interested in making sure they hit their next cue than looking at their young, nude bodies—well, almost more interested. On the last night, when she and Marnie pulled off their bras, I almost fainted.

They each had painted their boobs with a tiny smiley face and a "Thanks, Mr. C." Katie hugged me and said they couldn't have done this if it were anyone else. Marnie, who was twenty-one, also gave me a hug.

Sitting across from Katie, I smiled and said, "Payback sure is a bitch."

She then took my sizes and did some measurements. I hoped I didn't disappoint her mother, and have an erection in front of Katie. It was probably best if I never even thought about such an act in case it made me more prone to get excited. Katie was a younger version of her mother. Dark curly hair, vibrant eyes and a trim figure resulted in heads turning wherever she went. She also inherited her mother's outgoing personality. If she weren't like another daughter to me, I probably would admit that she turned me on.

The first week was spent running lines, doing the main blocking, and trying to get us non-pros to knock out a couple dance steps without falling over. Sarah was always pushing us, but also told us we were coming along.

I found myself busy during the days with my business. I had almost forgotten about Kathleen when I received an email from her. She wondered if we could meet for another beer. I countered with a late dinner after one of our few remaining rehearsals. That worked for her since she had an early evening appointment with a potential donor on that same night. I told her to meet me at the theater around the time our rehearsals usually ended.

That rehearsal was to be our last before we were to go into our "nude" mode. I was still nervous about the whole thing, but we were too far down the road to even consider backing out. I also had a lot of work to get through for clients. The days were flying by and I couldn't dwell on my burgeoning unease about going nude in public.

The night of our last clothed rehearsal had us gathered on stage for notes from Sarah. "Guys, I've got a change to go over with you. I have to go out of town tomorrow and won't be back so I'm cancelling rehearsal. It's a personal thing, and I can't move it. So, tonight we will do a full run-through. This means we may run a little late, but I hope not too late."

The silence from the cast meant we understood that tonight would be our first time stripping in the play.

"I know this is not what you expected tonight, but if we don't get through this now, it will only leave one run-through and dress rehearsal. I don't think it leaves us enough time to get used to being nude."

We all headed downstairs to change into our costumes. The first act went smoothly and Sarah only had to stop us a couple times. There is one scene where a woman in the play is interviewing prospective dancers. She's seated at a table and Andy, the actor, is standing facing her with his back to the audience. She tells him to show her and he drops his pants and underwear. This will be the first nude butt the audience will see. In rehearsals up to this point, the actor wore a speedo under his underwear. Tonight he faced Irene and totally exposed himself to her. The script implies that the actor is supremely well hung, and Irene is supposed to act accordingly as she moves her head up and down, ogling the thing in front of her. When Andy's clothes hit the floor, Irene paused, moved her head slowly up and down, and forgot her line.

We all broke up. She was embarrassed, he was embarrassed and the rest of us were howling.

"Hey, give me a freaking break," Irene called out. "You try to remember a line with this staring you in the face." I was standing next to Katie in the wings. He turned in our direction and she gasped. The young man was quite well hung.

"Holy shit," she said. "That's amazing."

"Don't let it set unreasonable expectations about the rest of us," I offered. She jabbed me in the ribs.

"No sweat, Mr. C. I'm sure you can hold your own." The double meaning of her words struck both us and we got the giggles. She finally calmed down, and said I knew what she meant. I again looked at the actor and thought if they all looked like that I would be the object of the next round of laughs.

We were now at the climax. All the dancers were on stage and going through our routine. We had shed our shirts and now were about to pull off our specially tailored trousers. They were held together with Velcro and could be jerked off in one motion. Turning our backs to the house, we rid ourselves of the last vestige of modesty. Next came our G-strings with Velcro to hold the waist band together.

We covered our privates with our hats and turned toward the house and danced some more. At the final moment we were to pull our hats away as the stage lights immediately went off. We would be silhouetted from back with bright lighting, but the audience could not see our private parts.

We got to that point and pulled our hats away. The lights stayed on. The rest of the cast, crew and Sarah stared at six fully nude men. There was an uncanny silence in the theater. Our music director had stopped playing when we removed our hats.

Finally Sarah started clapping. One by one, the other cast members and crew joined in. Soon, we were greeted by both applause and cat calls. We all relaxed and took a couple bows.

Sarah came on stage to talk with us. At first we held our hats in front, but after a minute realized there was nothing left to hide and put our hats on our heads. Sarah explained that it was obvious that she and the lighting director need to do some work. As she was speaking, I turned toward Katie. She was grinning from ear to ear and gave me an exaggerated wink. I could only imagine the text she would be sending my daughter later.