All Comments on 'The Family Recipe'

This was fantastically hot and well-crafted! Normally I find stories with sparse dialogue to be weak. This was anything but.

I'm usually not a fan of family stuff, but this was very well written and very interesting? Every line had its place and there was excellent pacing. Very solid!

Her losing her virginity in a glory hole ruined it for me.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't get past the idea that Mom added someone's semen to an actual dessert that she made and allows her own children to eat it. Too far fetched and a total farce. Maybe you were shooting for humorous irony. 🤔 I don't know. I hated it so much that when the accusations about the priest came out that I quit reading it. 1/5 but I would have voted for negative five if that were an option.

The story is a bit hard to follow because you don't have anything to mark when it switches to a new scene. For example:

> Dani rushed to the kitchen. Not a moment to lose.

>

> "Mum! Where's my pie?!" Dani began to panic as she rifled through the fridge.

This reads like she rushes to the kitchen and immediately starts rifling through the fridge. You have to read on a bit, realize that this doesn't make sense, then go back and figure out that the story has suddenly jumped to the next day. It's pretty disruptive to the reading experience.

To avoid that, you could mark this kind of scene break with something like "---" or "***."

Everything was fine until you had to ruin the entire history with the gloryhole part