The Final Trip Ch. 04

Slowly I start to hear things around me and find that Kaleb has wrapped me up in his jacket and brought me up on his lap. Slowly he is rocking me back and forth. I have never felt so incredibly weak in the time that I remember.

Bending his head towards mine I hear him whisper in my ear. "Maria, please don't leave me. Please come back to me. I will promise you anything, but please don't leave me. I need you in my life." Gathering me closer he holds me tighter. "Baby, I can't have you leave me." I hear desperation in his voice and I know that I have to open my eyes. Moving a little bit takes so much effort. "Maria?" I try to open my eyes and I succeed. Looking up into his wonderful green eyes I can see that he is, in fact, very worried. When I try to smile he sighs in relief. "I am so sorry! I should have taken it easy with you. I should have been more concerned with you!" I finally get enough strength to reach up a finger and place it over his lips.

"Kaleb," I can't believe how weak my voice sounds, "shush. I just need a moment more to get my strength back." I stop to catch my breath. "I never knew that it would be that earth shattering." I close my eyes again and lean into his still bare chest. Sighing with contentment I know now that if I drift off he will still be here for me.

When I next open my eyes I am still in his arms. "Maria, My Dear, are you sure that you are okay? I cannot say that I am sorry, but you should have told me that you were a virgin. I would have been more gentle with you." Reaching down he runs his hand down my cheek. "How many surgeries have you had?"

His question takes me off guard. "More than I can count. They tried to save my reproductive organs, but they were unable to. I am able to have sex, but I will never be able to have children. I know that some guys think that is a good thing, but when we talked together I think I led you to believe that I could still have children. At least this way I don't have to worry about being pregnant when I die."

For a while he doesn't speak. When he does though his words are very surprising. "I wish that you could have children. I would love to see you carrying my child. I would love to see you growing large and knowing that my child is growing inside of you. I do understand though, why you would think that I would like it better that you can't have kids. You're right. A lot of guys just want the fun and not the consequences. You should know by now that I am different. If you do die, before we can get treatment for you from a doctor that actually knows what he's doing, I will take care of you. I will find a place to bury you and I will do it myself. I will be the only one that will know where you are." Gathering me closer, I feel him sigh. "If you decide to allow me to bring you to a doctor that I have been corresponding with, then I will not leave your side during the treatment and anything else that is coming up."

Looking up into his face I know that he means what he is saying right now, but as with all the others, he will leave when things become too horrible. When I have to go through surgery after surgery, and none of them actually do any good, then he will leave too.

"Maria, I know that you think that this time will be just like the others. I know that you think that I will leave you, but you are wrong, My Dear. You see, I have found that I love you. If you do die, then I will die too."

In surprise my eyes snap open. "What did you say?"

"You heard correctly, My Dear. I love you. I know that you probably won't believe me, but I do. You have come to mean more to me than my own life. I mean what I say. I cannot live without you, so I won't. When you die, I will die."

"Kaleb! Please say that you do not mean that. I do not know if I will live or die, and I cannot have your death hanging over me. Please, Kaleb, say that you will live and do everything that I never had the chance to do." I stop for a moment, but before he has a chance to say anything I continue. "I will see your doctor, but I promise nothing. If he turns out to be a quack like all the others that promise me everything and just put me on more drugs, then I'm not going to see him again."

"I can agree to that. I think he will be different though, because he saw some of the worst that the war in Iraq could throw at him. People that every other doctor gave up on he would treat. Yes, he lost some, but the majority of them he was able to help live fairly normal lives." What am I thinking of? Maybe a military doctor could do more for me than a civilian doctor.

"Kaleb, have you met this guy?"

"Yes, I have. He is actually waiting to meet you. I told him that you were going to be at the Grand Canyon, then Bryce and Zion then up to Yellowstone. He asked if we could meet here, and then he will do an evaluation of you. By the time we meet up again with him in Yellowstone he will have a game plan together for you. This means that you have to stay alive until then. Do you think you can do that?" His devastating smile takes any sting out of his words and I take them in the teasing manner that he intended them.

Thoughtfully I respond back to him. "Well, if you put it that way, I can try. I do need to find just the right place at Yellowstone to be buried anyway, so that will take a couple of days."

"Ohhhhhh! You stinker!" He makes to dump me off his lap, but I turn my body toward his and my hand inadvertently brushes against his manhood. Instantly his mood changes. He wraps his arms around me and brings me up to him and kisses me. His kiss holds all the promises that he has not voiced but I know that he is thinking about. "Maria, can we do it again?"

"I would love to try."

"I will be more gentle with you this time. After this I will call Robert and see where he is so we can set up a meeting. Would you like to meet him at the lodge or at your plane?"

"Probably at the plane, that way fewer people have to look at me. If we go to the lodge then there will be a lot of people around and we don't want that just yet." I have a hard time thinking when his hands are doing these amazing things to me.

"Mmm, enough talk." Leaning over me he kisses me and his hands press the jacket off my shoulders. I never thought that man could be as gentle as he is with me as he makes love to me again. This time I don't black out and I feel surprisingly clear headed, but I must admit that I am very tired. Very gently Kaleb helps me back into my clothing and then he carries me to the awaiting car.

Johnathan sees us coming down the path and jumps out of the car to open the door for us. "Is she okay?"

"She will be. She is just very tired. I think she over exerted herself. This was the perfect spot, thank you!" Very gently he places me in the car and turns back to Johnathan. "Johnathan, if you could take us back to the plane that would be wonderful. We may have you run to pick up someone at the lodge, though, if you don't mind."

"Sir, I am all yours for the entire day. If you and your lady would like, I could go and get you something for a late lunch. That way I will be out and about and you can just call me and tell me where to pick up your guest."

Kaleb looks over at me and I nod my head in agreement. Right then Kaleb's phone rings and I have a sinking feeling that I know who it is. Sure enough, when he answers he mouths one word - doctor. From listening to the one side of the conversation I understand that he would like to get together sooner rather than later.

I motion that I want to talk to him a minute and he tells the doctor to hold on. "Why don't we get him now a minute and he can do the evaluation while Johnathan goes to get supper for us."

Kaleb likes that idea so he brings it up to the doctor. Obviously it was met with a positive response because in a short time we are pulling up in front of the lodge.