by goddessunleashed
Just a suggestion. When you get to the point of actually describing the sex act (or making love ;) ) part, go as slow and describe it in as much detail as you did other parts of your story.
I know what it's like to write erotica. When you finally get to that part of the story, as the writer, your story passion has built up inside so that you want to explode in story orgasmic bliss. The secret is getting the reader to feel as you felt that first time.
You are a good writer, keep it up!
I really appreciate the feedback! I was really nervous about writing it so I'm sure that popped up. Thank you very much. I'll take the advice! :)