The French Exit

Chapter Nine

'I'm sorry Sal. I thought you had it. You deserved it.'

Sal scooped her up and spun her around in a big hug. He was slightly drunk and Snoopy could smell the slightly beery breath from him.

'Nearly Snoops. So damn close. Would've been, I don't know, karma or something.'

'Dude, it was a long shot. But you came so much closer than I ever thought. Even to get here. Remember, I've been writing for nearly twenty years and I've not had a sniff.'

Sal put her down and the two of them sat at the table ignoring the noise around them.

'I know. I know. Snoops, I'm so fucking grateful to be here. To be here and to be here with you and these guys.'

He waved an expansive hand around.

'It's awesome. I'm so lucky. I just wish.'

'Let me ask you, as your friend, as your colleague, as someone who does love you. If you could go back and none of this happened, would you?'

'To where? Back to before Donald came along and she decided to cheat? Honestly, no. I wouldn't go back. Not for one minute.'

'Why?'

'Simples. She cheated. There was something not right in the relationship. I don't know if it was her or if it was me or if it was the relationship. But she made that decision. Donald may have been the actual time she cheated, but I think it would've been a matter of time. If not Donald then someone else.'

He shrugged.

'It's been a painful year. Bastard painful and no, I loved her. Still have strong feelings for her, but I'm glad she's out of my life.'

'No second chance?'

'Our marriage was a second chance. She cheated on me when we first got together remember? The marriage was us having a second chance. No more chances.'

'Have you heard from her lately?'

Sal shook his head. 'Last time I heard anything about her was when Lucienne came to see me. Donald's ex-wife.'

He saw the smile on Snoopy's face. 'The one who pledged her love.'

'That's the one.'

Lucienne had come to his work and caught him there. She'd waited for him to leave and ambushed him as he did.

'Hey, Mister.'

Sal had jumped. He'd not been paying attention; he was off in a world of his own and he'd got distracted following the herd on his usual walk home.

'Hey!' He recognised her. She saw his guard go up and laughed at him.

He stopped walking and she caught up to him. She interlocked her arm through his and in a light voice asked.

'Care to take a girl for a drink, Honey?'

Sal looked at her. She represented the past, a memory, a ghost. Did he want to engage? It had been over six months and he was now divorced. Alice had tried to contact him a few times but he'd told work to block her access and they did. They had security due to the nature of the organisation and the plethora of famous and powerful interests that they'd upset over the years. That security was capable of stopping a woman trying to see her husband if he didn't want to be seen.

He'd blocked her number and her emails were bounced back. She'd tried stalking him at his apartment. But the people he shared the building with knew him and his situation. They didn't give her a chance to get in. He'd avoided her carefully and completely. He knew that she wanted to talk to him, wanted to persuade him to stay in the relationship. Wanted to explain, to justify what she did and he knew that preventing that conversation. Showing her that she didn't have anything to say that he'd be interested in, would punish her more than an angry confrontation.

She'd deployed Reuben and Sarah to no effect. He'd spotted them and using simple disguises evaded their interest. She'd sent her parents down, gambling that his old affection for them would gain them access to plead her case. He avoided them as easily as everyone else. It wasn't hard. When he saw them, any sign of any of them, he stayed with one of his sisters. They were happy to put him up for a few nights while the stalkers got frustrated and bored with the absence of Sal.

Alice tried to write a letter and pass it to him through his attorney. When the letter was given to the attorney, he handed it straight back.

'My client's instructions are that I'm to pass on no communication from your client to him. None, nothing. Passing him this letter would be a direct breach of this instruction, so no I won't pass it to him. He told me if I accepted such a letter, he'd fire me for breaching his specific instructions and move his business and he wouldn't read the letter.'

Alice tried to get the judge to order counselling, but Sal's attorney took him through the circumstances of the end of the marriage and made it clear that Sal wouldn't attend counselling. The judge, having read the well written article in the New York Times. Agreed that it'd be a waste of time and even insulting to the wronged husband.

Lucienne grabbing his arm was the first-time part of his old life, his pre-divorce life had intruded on him.

'One sniff of anyone else and I go, leave you and never, ever have anything to do with you again.' He said in a flat voice.

She looked at him, scrutinising him. 'I accept. I'm here for me, not as any kind of representative.'

Sal nodded. 'OK. Have you eaten?'

She shook her head. 'No, I wasn't entirely sure when you'd be finishing or if I'd see you. I didn't want to walk away and risk missing you.'

'Italian, OK?'

She nodded. 'Real, genuine Italian?'

Sal laughed, 'On my honour as an Italian American. The food is edible and something like my mom used to cook. It's a hop on the subway, so come on. We'll talk when we get there.'

'Honey, if it's that good, will we get a table?'

'We'll get a table. Trust me.'

They got a table sat in the window, Sal was sat to one side so he could see people coming in through the door and the people outside. It was his favourite table.

'What's good?' Lucienne asked as the waiter gave her a menu.

'It's all good. All fresh cooked.'

'What're you having?'

'I'll have the bruschetta to start, Chicken Parmigiana for main. I won't have a dessert, but I'd like a bottle of the Malbec for us to drink and a coffee whilst you have dessert, presuming you'll still be here for dessert and not walked out.'

'I'll have the same, it sounds excellent. But when it comes to dessert, let me see the menu again because I will be indulging.'

The music was quiet enough for them to talk but loud enough to fill any awkward silences. The restaurant was filling up with people, a crowd coming home from work, grabbing something to eat. There would be a later sitting of the people who had families or were on dates. This was the early crowd.

'So, how have you been?' Sal asked.

Lucienne held up her left hand wiggling her fingers to show him the absence of a wedding ring.

'I've lost some weight, Honey. About fifteen stone.'

'And you look better for it. You must've filed quite soon after the vacation was over.'

Lucienne nodded and took a sip of her wine, murmuring her appreciation. 'Yep. We came back, it was all a bit of a mess as you know. After you left there was the drama of you being gone and Alice's melt down.'

'I thought my departure was quite discrete.'

'Funny. I thought you'd say goodbye to me. Something about a photograph?'

'I haven't forgotten it. It's done, framed and on the side in my apartment. I'm going to be sad when it finally goes.'

'No rush. Just checking you hadn't forgotten. So why no goodbye? I thought I had earnt that.'

'I thought about it. But being honest, I wanted out of there as fast as possible. Away from that hell hole, away from her and as quick a return to reality as possible. I had a lot to sort out in a short space of time. I didn't want to chance you delaying me.'

'I suppose I can understand that. I spent my day looking for you, trying to work out if I'd said something to upset you or accidentally lied to you.'

'Not that I was aware of. I'll be honest, I didn't know everything. That evening, after I left you in the Spa, I went and got the proof I was looking for. Once I had that, there was little point in staying. I needed to get things organised and moving. I didn't want any kind of melodrama or confrontation or any of that kind of crap.'

'But to just leave, no word to anyone.'

Sal smiled at her. 'It's called a French Exit.'

Lucienne shook her head causing her curls to bounce. 'Honey, I've never heard of it.'

'Funny thing is the Brits call it a French Exit, the French an English Exit and the Irish claim it for their own. The idea is simple, you just go. No fuss, no dramas, no goodbyes. I like the simplicity of it.'

'Have you spoke to her?'

Sal shook his head. 'I'm not going to. Why should I? I told her clearly, you were there, there'd be no conversation. She was the one who thought there would be. I was quite clear. I don't think she was wanting to listen. I think she convinced herself that I'd do what she wanted.'

'That's a hard punishment.'

'Nope. I didn't ask for her to cheat. I didn't want to go on holiday and to be humiliated by my wife. She chose to do those things, why would I humour her? She's got nothing to say that I want to hear.'

'Honey, when she came back, she wanted to know where you were immediately. She was clearly stressed about you.'

'Not so stressed that she could keep her legs together.'

'No.' Lucienne nodded her head slowly. 'I saw the photographs you managed to capture of them at that orgy. She looked like she was enjoying herself.'

Sal shrugged again. 'She made her choices and ended our marriage. No second chances. Our marriage was a damned second chance. Not again. Not even I'm that dumb.'

'Well, she searched the resort high and low, she badgered the hell out of the staff. Of course, they were no help, they struggled to believe that you could get out without them knowing. In the end she got them to review the CCTV footage and they watched you leaving with your stuff. If she was stressed before you left, once she found out you'd left it was different level. She had an absolute melt down. All of us were with her.'

She paused for a moment. 'Genuinely, I think she was suicidal. She knew that with you gone, your marriage was over. She didn't seem to have considered that as something that was likely to happen. When she was confronted with it, she struggled to accept it. She had to be tranquilised to calm her down.'

'She didn't come home early.'

'No, we couldn't move the flights. We had to stay there with her in that state. Not nice I can tell you. There were some shredded nerves by the end.'

The waiter came to the table with their starters and after thanking him, Sal and Lucienne began to tuck in.

'Honey, this is nice. Damn Sal, you know how to give a girl a good meal.'

'I told you it was good. Wait until you try the Parmigiana, its special. Best I know.'

'Congratulations on the article or feature by the way. That was a killer surprise.'

A smile flashed across Sal's face.

'I did the article, but when the editors saw it, they decided to make adultery a major feature and went to town on it. I'll be honest, I love my job and I love my paper, but that really did feel like they had my back when they did that.'

'Well, we landed and were making our way through the airport. Donald and Reuben both grabbed the free copies they distribute. I thought they were going to have a heart attack when they saw the paper running the story.'

'Um, good.' Sal said.

Lucienne laughed. 'Evil man. I did giggle when I saw the headlines and then we all stood there, in the airport. Stock still, reading the whole damn article, then the feature. You could've heard a pin drop. Talk about silent concentration. We were in the zone.'

'I thought it was good writing.'

'Oh, it was. Getting your name and photograph there as the writer, on the front page. Wow, what a coup! Pulitzer nomination.'

Sal bowed his head. 'And for my first story as well. Fingers crossed; it'd be lovely to get one. Snoopy hasn't had one yet, so it's giving me some real ammunition to yank her chain.'

'I'll be rooting for you, Honey. They noticed you'd written it and just how vivid a picture you'd painted of the way the experience had made you feel. The writing was scorching.'

'Thank you. We in the press like to land them from time to time.'

'That one landed. There was no hiding it, you got the televisions, social media all buzzing with the story. I don't know if you're aware but the resort has been closed pending new management and a new philosophy.'

'I know. I've kept an eye on it.'

'Are you still writing?'

'Yeah. I'm a photographer first and foremost, but my name is on the roster of journalists so I get stories of my own. I don't know if I'll move across to full time writing, I think not. I still love the photography. The writing is fun but it doesn't motivate me in the same way. How about you? You said you were lighter now, what happened there?'

'I'd decided to divorce Donald whilst we were away. Your comments about why we were together and what I was doing with him made me think. When I thought, I realised that he'd rubbed the corners off me. He was moulding me into someone I wasn't happy being. I didn't want a marriage where my husband cheats or where I cheat. I want to be special and loved enough that my husband respects me and wants to be with me. I think I'm worth that.'

She paused, eating, and thinking.

'I'd been thinking for a while about our relationship and getting the wrong answers. Getting that sense that a younger me would be ashamed of who I had become. In the end I decided for my self-respect that the marriage was over. Partly, that's why I was looking for you, to tell you what I'd decided.'

'I'm glad you had that insight. I think you're right. Whoever you end up with is going to be a lucky man. You've got the looks, the personality, the intelligence, and the charm. You're a real prize for any man. You've got to find one that's worth what you offer.'

She nodded. 'Easy words to say. It's scary being alone again. There're days where it's exciting but it's kind of frightening. My married friends have drawn their wagons in a circle and sort of frozen me out as well as Donald. I guess we're both seen as damaged goods and bad influences on other marriages.'

She gave a laugh, half snort, half laugh. 'I can't blame them. Well, not entirely.'

'Give them time and space. If they're worth being friends, they'll come back.'

'I don't know, Honey. A lot of friendship is proximity and shared experiences. I'm in a different place from them, quite a different place.'

'Then find better ones, ones that will support you, ones that actually care about you.'

'What about you, Sal?'

'I had two lives throughout my marriage. I had my life in the suburbs with Alice and my life here in the city. My city life hasn't changed. My friends are still my friends. They weren't mine and Alice's friends. The ones here were, are my friends and have stayed that way. I've got a good support network. The people at work have been brilliant, I couldn't ask for a stronger team around me there.'

He ate for a moment.

'I loved her. I guess I still do. There are some tough nights where I question what happened, what I could've done differently. Sometimes I beat myself up over it. I guess that's normal. I try to recognise what I'm doing in those moments and usually that's enough to break the thoughts and I can move on.'

'Hon, you've moved on better than her. She's getting counselling now. She had a, I'd guess, a breakdown. She moved back in with her parents when it became clear you'd gone. But I think she's really struggled.'

'Do you see her?'

'I've seen her once or twice, that's how I know she's struggling. You can see it; she doesn't look the same woman that went on holiday. She's thin, painfully thin and she looks, I guess haunted or strained. Like she's got problems. She doesn't look in a good place.'

'I know she was sleeping with my husband and all of that, but I always quite liked her. She was a nice person. I could see why Donald wanted her. There was something special about her.'

'Hopefully she'll come out of this in a better place. If she's getting some help, hopefully they'll be able to work out what it was that made her blow our marriage up and she'll work through it. So, you and Donald toast? Everything sorted between you?'

'Yep, divorce is final. I'm a single lady. He's, I don't know. We don't have anything to do with each other. Ever since we came back, ever since I told him we were done.'

'Did you tell him on holiday?'

She shook her head whilst the waiter cleared away their plates.

'No, I took a sheet out of your playbook. I got everything lined up whilst he was trying to sort his current project out. He was more worried about that to pay attention to what I was doing. Remember, he thought I was still little Miss Dutiful. Little Mrs Dutiful. He didn't realise what I was feeling. So, I got an attorney, followed her advice and caught him by surprise.'

'Good for you. He took it OK?'

'As well as can be expected, I guess. There were questions about why and what had changed, promises about future behaviour. But I'd seen behind the mask. I saw what he did to your marriage and thought about how long he'd been playing me. He didn't want a wife, not properly. He wanted me at home. Keep up appearances, be arm candy for him. But to accept that he'd have a lover or lovers on the side.'

'He did ask if this was about you. If I was seeing you on the side. He knew we made a connection on our holiday.'

'Cheater's paranoia. They cheat, think that everyone else is the same and having some away on the side.'

'I don't know. I think perhaps it was more he recognised that the things I was wanting, you represent. Stability, one man for life, a family, children. Still, he was trying to deal with his project melting down and his marriage and the project took his attention.'

'He prioritised work over you?'

'In fairness, he had set-up a multi-million-pound development deal. It was a big deal and he was the one holding it together, making it work. When the article came out, it rocked him professionally. My ending the marriage was a painful distraction, but he had his hands full with that deal imploding.'

'Some investors have morals.'

'Yep, his did. He hadn't realised that I don't think. I think he viewed it that they wouldn't walk away from the money. That the deal was the most important thing. I don't know if the message landed with him when it all failed, but for his investors it wasn't about the money. The deal was sweet, but when they found out the kind of person they were working with, they weren't quite as interested.'

'Oh?'

'Personal opinion? I think his investors thought to themselves, if he can cheat on me and break up your marriage. Was he the right person to be making a big gamble on? That's my opinion. In the end they walked, the deal folded and Donald went bust.'

'Are you OK? Like financially?'

'Yeah, A lot of stuff was in my name. He was trying to salvage the project when we were working out the financials so I got a good deal where he was a bit distracted. My attorney was excellent, thankfully. I'm alright. I still have to work, but I don't have to scratch around for any work, I can pick and choose my jobs.'

'Cool. I'm glad. I was worried you'd been burnt as well.'

'No, I made out alright. Sal, I've got no complaints. You know? I should've dumped Donald the first time I found him screwing around. I didn't, I looked past it. Forgave him, however you want to put it. He pushed the boundaries and accepting it became normal because having stepped over one line, where do you draw the line?'

They sat in silence watching the pedestrians on the sidewalk.

'It was our conversation that made me stop and think. When I did, I realised I'd lost sight of what was important. I let you down, you and Alice. If I'd have had the courage to say 'No' the first time and divorce him, maybe he'd have learnt. Maybe he'd have done things differently. I got to see the pain of my cowardice when you spoke to me about Alice and you.'