The Friends List Ch. 05

Vanessa and I stayed cuddled together for the entire rest of the movie [spoiler: the ship sinks]. When it ended we bid goodnight to each other with a hug, and I went to bed, feeling as confused as ever, but still looking forward to the pool party the next day.

The Chen family lived a little too far from us to walk, so the next night Vanessa and I carpooled with Monique and Samantha, each of us wearing our swimsuits under minimal summer clothes for the short trip. The house itself was a 1970's-style two-storey on a nondescript, tree-lined street. As I got out of Sam's car, I was immediately hit by the late summer heat - usually by late August in southern Ontario, the nights have started cooling off even as the days remain stifling, but this one promised to be an exception to the rule.

The house itself was lit up with activity. I could hear high-pitched female shrieking and laughter from the backyard even as we opened the gate and made our way into the backyard.

The pool was a standard backyard in-ground one, a normal size with a diving board and a tiny change house near the edge of the property. There was a roofed cabana up near the house and a large patio loaded with furniture. We were hemmed in by other suburban backyards on every side, and part of me wondered if we'd make it through the night without the cops being called on us for noise, but for now at least it was still early.

"Hi ladies! Who's the hottie?" asked an Asian girl in a bikini as soon as we entered. I hadn't met her before, but from her facial structure she was clearly Natalie's little sister - a little shorter, a little curvier, but obviously sharing some genetics. She was filling out a bright orange and blue bikini nicely, and judging by the look on her face, the vodka cooler in her hand wasn't her first of the night. Or her second.

"Gross, Viv, that's my brother." Vanessa made a face.

"You never told me your brother was cute," Vivian responded, looking me up and down like a piece of meat.

"Enough out of you," Natalie appeared and shoved her sister aside. Vivian shoved half-heartedly back, then turned her attention back to her friends.

"Already regretting this a little?" Monique teased.

Natalie thought for a moment, looking around the yard. "No. The party was going to happen anyway. At least this way my friends are here. I might actually have some fun because of you guys, and him." She motioned to a handsome, muscular Asian guy standing nearby in a bathing suit and a tank top. "Weiyin, come on over and meet my friends. This is Monique, Samantha, Vanessa and Peter."

I shook the guy's hand. He was nice enough, a little shy, speaking English with a Chinese accent, and we quickly learned he was from Guangzhou and had come to Canada to do an engineering degree. He and Natalie made a cute couple, and judging by the way they looked at each other as we spoke, they seemed very much in love. I was happy for her and not the least bit jealous. I still liked Natalie, but I had no interest in being in a long-distance relationship, and if I couldn't have her, at least she had picked a guy who seemed good for her.

Over the next couple of hours I mingled and circulated around the party. I knew enough people in the group now that I always had someone to talk to, and I had no problem striking up a conversation with people I didn't know. I swam in the pool and helped another guy man the barbecue and met new people and worked my way through the six-pack of beer I'd brought.

There were probably forty or so people there, most of whom looked very young to me, and in a ratio of about 70% girls to 30% boys. I assumed most of them were Vivian's friends, since I knew Natalie wasn't quite a social butterfly and her sister had been quite forward in comparison. Only Kirsten was missing of the usual group of girls I knew, and there was no sign of Priya or Mark, which I assumed was because they were attached to Vanessa.

Samantha, for her part, seemed like she was consciously avoiding me - not being cold or distant, but more just like we didn't know each other very well. I'd already assumed that she was still having some trouble reconciling what we'd been up to in her head, and I didn't mind pretending to be distant for her benefit. I only had a few days to go before leaving for Kingston for the school year, and if I could make it that far, then at least I'd theoretically be spared the worst of Vanessa's reaction. I hadn't asked Samantha not to say anything until I'd left - I didn't think I had the right to - but I was really hoping she wouldn't.

As I walked through the living room heading to the fridge at one point, I noticed Laura sitting by herself on the couch on her phone. She looked low-key upset, and before I could stop myself, I headed towards her.

"You okay?"

She looked up. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just boy trouble."

"What did I do this time?"

Laura smiled sadly at me. "It's not you. It's this new guy."

"Oh, a new guy? I'm happy for you. What's the trouble?"

"Do you want to sit?" She indicated the space beside her on the love seat, and I hesitated for a moment before joining her.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I had a couple of dates with a guy over the past few weeks. It was casual, like he goes to Waterloo so we're not likely going to be able to maintain a relationship over the school year, but it was still fun. A couple of days ago we finally slept together for the first time, and ever since then he's been ghosting me." She indicated her phone. "I don't know whether it's something I did, or if he was just using me for sex, or what."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Laura sighed. "It's fine. I guess. I'm just getting sick of being the girl that guys use for an easy lay. I don't even think I'm that easy. I only ever slept with a guy super fast once."

"That sounds like it's directed at me," I ventured cautiously.

"It is."

"I guess I'm special, then?"

"Obviously you know I've liked you for a long time. When you invited me back to your room at that party, it was like all my teenage fantasies coming true. I was convinced that I was going to get what I'd always wanted, which was for us to be together. But that didn't happen."

I moved to interrupt her in protest, but she shushed me.

"It's my fault, Peter. I let myself be swayed by what I'd dreamed about for so long, and I was so wrapped up in that fantasy that I didn't listen to you telling me flat out what you were and weren't offering me. You just wanted a one-night stand, and I still said yes. If I expected more and it didn't happen, that's on me."

I looked at Laura's angular features, surprised by the maturity in what she said. She was still cute, and I had to prevent myself from glancing down at her alabaster-white breasts in her bikini top, looking for all the world like they'd never seen the sun before.

"I mean... yeah," I agreed. "I wish we hadn't done it, only because it seemed like it hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"It did hurt me, but I did it to myself, and I think I'm finally over it. Or at least I was until I found out I was just another notch on your bedpost."

I raised my eyebrows at her. I didn't know what she knew.

"I heard about you and Sam getting it on," she continued. "I don't even like you anymore. It's one thing to let yourself be used for sex because you've let yourself believe, despite all evidence, that it's going to lead to something more. But still, it was fun, you were great in bed, and my biggest regret all summer was that it was never going to happen again. But after hearing about you and Sam, obviously I didn't mean anything to you if you'll sleep with basically anyone. I'm so over guys seeing me as just an easy hookup."

"I never saw you as an easy hookup," I protested.

"Then why did you fuck me?"

"I could tell how much you wanted to, and you weren't underage anymore. Was it up to me to save you from the consequences of your own actions?"

She considered this. "No. I guess you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just over it, and now I'm over you."

She got up, heading for the pool, and I took that moment to use the bathroom. Fuck. I didn't know how she'd found out, but If Laura knew, then the secret wasn't going to be a secret much longer. After I'd finished in the bathroom I came out into an empty hallway - empty, that is, save for a tipsy-looking Vivian Chen.

"Hi Peter," she said sultrily.

"Hi Vivian."

"Natalie told me all about you."

"What did she tell you?"

"Oh, you know, that you're Vanessa's brother, you go to school at Queen's, you're going to be a high-powered lawyer someday, that sort of thing. Basically everything important, except she somehow forgot to mention how sexy you look in a bathing suit." She licked her lips.

"Thanks, you look good in one too."

"I look even better out of it." She leaned in close to me, and her hard body pressed into mine. "Want to go see my room?"

I took a step back. "I'm flattered, and I'm tempted, but I really don't think it's a good idea. You're Natalie's kid sister, you've been drinking, and I don't want to make trouble."

"You sure?" Vivian took my hand and guided it to her bikini top. I could feel a hard nipple pressing into my palm through her bathing suit, a lovely contrast to the softness surrounding it. "You're not gay, are you?"

"I'm sure, and no, I'm not." I pulled my hand back. "If you were anyone else, I would. But I just can't do that to Natalie. It's nothing personal."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself."

As I watched her walk away, admiring the string of her bikini disappearing into her ass crack, I realized that four months ago I'd have taken her upstairs without a second thought. I'd never turned down easy sex before when I was attracted to the girl, but apparently I'd grown up a little without realizing it - that, or I was terrified of the consequences. I took a moment to let my cock fully soften before heading back to the party.

I headed back out into the darkening evening. The sun was nearly set and a bunch of spotlights had turned on, illuminating the pool both from above and under the water. The pool itself was packed with revellers, as was the nearby patio. The noise level had escalated along with the drunkenness of the party-goers, and I noticed one girl in the pool whom I didn't recognize was now topless. She was clearly enjoying being the centre of attention, surrounded by boys.

"It was a little different when it was all of us. That's just being a show-off," came a voice from behind me. I turned and saw Michelle MacKenzie, alone and relaxing in a lawn chair. Her hair was wet, like she'd just gotten out of the pool, and she had a towel wrapped around her waist.

"I don't disagree." I pulled up a second chair and sat beside her. "No Jason?"

"He's gone fishing with his dad and brother," she pouted. "I really wanted him to come, but no, I'm solo tonight."

"How's your summer been?" I asked.

"Not bad. A little boring. I know it's super lame to say this, but I kind of miss high school."

"It is a little lame, but what makes you say that?"

"I miss seeing my friends every day." She gestured at the seething mass of kids in the pool. "It's only been a year, but already this group of girls is drifting apart a little. We're at a bunch of different universities, we don't hang out nearly as often as we used to, and even when we do, we usually can't always be there. Do you know when the last time was that the entire group was in the same room together?"

I didn't.

"It was high school commencement last fall. Almost a year ago. Everyone's been gone all year, and that brief window when Kirsten was home earlier this summer, Natalie couldn't get back from Ottawa. Plus people are changing, too, growing up, growing apart. I just want to hang onto those friendships forever. For the first time, I can see an end someday, where a year ago I'd have said we were all besties for life."

"It's hard," I agreed. "I've drifted a huge amount from my high school friends. We barely even talk anymore, let alone hanging out."

"I don't want that to become our future. But the dynamics within the group are changing, too," Michelle continued. "Like I've always been 'the one in the group with the boyfriend,' since Jason and I have been together since the eighth grade. But I was always conscious of making sure we had time with each other that was just for the girls. I didn't bring him to everything. We're not attached at the hip. But now it seems like every time we hang out there are boys there, whether it's Weiyin and you tonight or the latest guy Vanessa's fucking." She put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Is it true?"

Michelle nodded sheepishly.

"I don't care if she's promiscuous. She's a grown woman. I don't need to hear about her sex life, but I respect her right to date and have fun," I said honestly.

"And you're a good guy for that. It's nice you're not creepy about it. A lot of guys are weirdly protective of their sisters."

"She's not technically my sister, and we never had a childhood or teenage relationship with each other. We're starting as adults, and that probably makes it easier."

"Probably. But yeah, all I want is one more girls' night, without any random boys there, without Natalie's skanky sister and her drunk-ass friends, without you, no offence. I think everyone's now brought a boy to some night or other. Except Monique."

"For obvious reasons, I guess," I surmised.

"Oh, you know about that?" Michelle asked.

"What, that she's a lesbian? It's pretty obvious."

"Monique's not a lesbian. She's pansexual. She never told you?"

I shook my head. "I've only ever known her to date girls."

"Well, sure, but..." Michelle lowered her voice. "I shouldn't tell you this. But what I was referring to is that Monique's had a deep, all-consuming crush on some guy since we were in public school. She's never let it slip to anyone who it was, and none of us have any idea. She won't talk about it. She started sleeping with girls when she went away to school last year, but she's never been with a man as far as I know, since she's still hung up on this guy somewhere that she's too scared to make a move on."

My heart stopped. I hadn't seen it coming. But all of a sudden the whole summer, and the years before it, made sense. Monique always loved having me around, loved talking to me, had opened up her heart to me, had slept nude in a bed with me. Of course she liked me. Of course she did. And I liked her too, I'd just convinced myself she wasn't an option.

She had been hinting at herself all this time, and I was too dense to see it for four months. What an idiot I'd been. I immediately turned to look around the party, to try to find Monique, to ask her if it was true, to figure out what the future might hold for us, and that was when my stepsister's right fist smashed hard into my face.

"You motherfucker!" I was immediately knocked to the ground, over the lawn chair, as Vanessa climbed on top of me and started hitting me. She had surprise on her side, and it was all I could to to protect my face as she kept trying to hit me, over and over. I noticed Laura behind her, looking smug.

"Get off him!" Samantha appeared from nowhere, grabbing Vanessa by the arm and forcibly dragging her off me as a crowd gathered around us.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Vanessa screamed at me as Sam held her back and I regained my feet. "All this summer as you've been getting me to finally trust you. You were just using me to get close to my friends? It was bad enough you slept with Laura, but now you've slept with Samantha too?"

"You slept with Samantha?" Michelle asked incredulously. "I never knew about that. I only ever heard about Laura and Kirsten."

"Kirsten too?!" Vanessa lunged at me again, which I managed to dodge before Sam and a beefy-looking guy in the crowd managed to restrain her. "You complete and utter asshole! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Can we do this in private?" I asked quietly, looking uneasily around at the crowd that was gathering around us.

"No! This is my friends' party. You get the hell out of here!"

"If he leaves, I leave too," Samantha spoke up. She made sure Vanessa was still restrained by the big guy, then she came to my side, putting her arm around me as she turned to her friend. "Vanessa, I was going to tell you about Peter and I hooking up because I don't believe in secrets or lying. It's only been twice now anyway. But he's been wonderful for me. It's the best sex I've ever had..."

A snicker ran through the assembled crowd.

"Grow up!" she ordered the group, before turning back to Vanessa. "Peter is a great lay and I'm going to keep fucking him. I wanted you to know, but I wasn't asking your permission. He didn't victimize me or mistreat me like every other guy I've been with. He's the first one to treat me like an adult and an equal, and I really like him.

"And I know Kirsten said similar things about him. You told her for years she needed to get laid, and she finally did, and you were right all along! It had a terrific effect on her, and you damn well know it. You were so proud of her when you didn't know who the guy was. It was Peter who did that for her. And you know Laura's told you it was good for her, too."

I caught Laura's eye and she looked away.

"Fine," Vanessa finally said sarcastically. "Everyone can fuck my stepbrother. All the girls here can." She looked around at the girls in the assembled crowd. "It's open season, ladies. Form an orderly line and he'll bang each of you. I'm getting out of here."

"I'll go with you," Laura volunteered.

The two of them stormed off into the crowd, and with the show over, the crowd quickly dispersed. I noticed the topless girl eyeing me from the pool, but I refused to make eye contact.

I turned to the big guy and Samantha. "Thank you."

"No prob," said the guy, before turning back to his friends.

"Are you all right?" Sam added.

I felt my cheek. It stung a little, but I wasn't hurt. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for stepping in."

She shrugged. "Vanessa slept with my brother Bryan in high school."

"What?!"

"Yep. They thought they were being so careful and so sneaky, but I knew about it. I never told her I knew, and it didn't bother me that much. At any rate, it wasn't a reason to stop being friends with her, and it didn't last long, anyway."

"Is that why you and I..."

"No. You weren't a revenge fuck for me. It was your goddamned hands, remember?" She smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "But it was easy enough for me to convince myself I wasn't doing anything wrong, or at least, I wasn't doing anything she hadn't already done."

"I never knew about that," Michelle piped up.

"I don't think any of the other girls did. I only found out because I was snooping in his room like a bratty kid sister and I found an explicit love note she wrote him. It didn't really bother me as long as they kept it quiet, which they did. But she's got no right to be mad at me for this, and I fully plan on using it against her if I need to."

"That sounds healthy," I interjected.

Sam sighed. "Whatever."

"I thought you didn't ever lie to protect anyone?"

"I don't anymore, because it got too hard keeping people's secrets, of which this is one," Sam explained. "But by the time I figured that out about myself, Vanessa's fling with Bryan was long over. It was better to leave it in the past than to drag it up for no reason."

"I hate drama," Michelle pouted.

"So do I, but I haven't done anything wrong here," Sam said. "You're lucky you found someone that makes you happy so young. Sex is so complicated."

"A little variety would be nice, but yeah, I get what you're saying," Michelle muttered under her breath.