All Comments on 'The Funeral'

Yeah that was impressive. Really good. Thanks.

But this one got all of the important stuff in there

Congratulations

V. G.

Enjoyed it. Don’t forget a quick spell-check before submitting.

Thank you for taking the time to write. I enjoy your stories.

Felt abit rushed but still better than most 750 stories.

AND?!

It felt like someone tore off the other half of the story.

Nice. The golddigging whore burned herself.

It's sad that women like her cause so much damage seeking greener grass. They always end up regretting leaving the life they abandoned, then come crawling back for a second chance.

Enticing snapshot from a larger story. Nicely done. Thanks.

Yeah, a well lived life is the best revenge!

5

Yes it's short. But packed with a lot of info about a selfish bitch and the aftermath. Good try considering the limits placed on it.

Well played..👍

Nice. Short, but to the point, and leaving just enough to read between the lines. Unlike most 750’s this one could easily be expanded, but doesn’t really need to be. It could be entertaining though. Overall, nicely done.

Nice job with the 750 words - probably about as good as it can get but good authors always leave you wanting more . . . sorry I reached (25 word limit on comments)

For a 750 effort, THAT was about as good as it gets! So much info packed into a small space. And unlike many flash tales, absolutely no need to want more. It was ALL there.

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Superb.

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5 *****. Easy.

Wow - Second great 750 word story today. It was short, but that's the point. You managed to capture a complete story in a few words without really missing any of the poignant points. Well done! 5*

Lizzy got zinged by his being better off without her…. Good clean read

was short but very good

Lovey! 5*****! A brief moment in time that brings closure to it all. It just shows that when you play by the rules you can be the big winner. Thanks for sharing.

Would have loved this to be a page or two. Really nice.

Nice, Emotions came through in the story.

"I am sorry for all of that?" No wonder he doesn't believe her, since she frames it as a question. How bizarre. That one little '?' in there really puts a spanner in the works.

It's one thing to leave your husband but you're really gutter trash to do it to your dad also.

He was right of course. She was not sorry in the least for her actions. Self-centered sociopaths are never concerned about the effects of their actions on other people.

Best revenge ... yes.

Excellent.

Not a bad story. 4 stars. Constructive criticism? Try proofreading a few more times, and maybe reading it aloud; Pretty sure you meant to write "she and Charles had split a year earlier." Of course they might have spit also.

Lots of folks complain about the 750 word stories, but I like the well written ones, like yours. It is quite a challenge to get any feel for a character in such a short piece, but you did it well. Thanks.

Loved the ending.

Great effort. It was short, but you told your story.

good work for a short story. D

Pretty good. 4 stars.

Too short, no story here.

Decent enough read. Its hard to do much of a story in 750 but this one worked decently.

Pretty sweet story for 750 words 5/5

How much did they spit a year earlier?

Tight, good and believable.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Simple, elegantly told.

Well played !

‘Nuff said! Thanks for writing!

Imposible to tell a complete story in 750 words. It always feels like you read a page from the end of a great story. Ruins the story because you already know the outcome.

Liked it but it could have been so much more.

Well done. I like the understated approach, it's very effective.

Really well done 750 story, It told the story and she still got the raw end of the stick.

Well done!

Class.... just pure class.

Wonderful dialogue. It flowed very well. I could see 2 more dialogues, Lizzy and Abby, and a longer second dialogue with Jack over dinner. Another branch from this story can be she relocate back to her old stomping grown

She and Charles. She reminds me of a friend. She was married, had an affair with a wealthy man. Snuck off to the Dominican Republic got a divorce, married her boyfriend, had another divorce the same day and flew to Japan and hid out for 6 weeks while husband #2 was trying to find her and the time limit on her second divorce expired. Since then there were 3 more. I always told her she had a soap opera life style. She never met a husband she couldn't run around on and take their money and make another enemy. She was about a 9.9 and broke hearts wherever she went. She tried and tried to get into bed with me but I knew what she would eventually do to me. It is hard to not fall in love with a beautiful woman who daily does Kegel exercises. This wasn't counting the other guys she used and dumped. She was too much of a slut to mess with. A broken heart looking to happen.

I like the comments from peelercrab. A lot of men set themselves up for heartache, because they ignore the signs, and marry her, because of the physical attraction. You can’t stop a Narcissist from being who they are. 51% of the population has a pussy. Don’t be in a hurry, to give your life over to one, who has a track record of cheating.

This was one of the better 750s

Some errors but a good story overall

In the confines of 750, this was very good. Concise to the message but detailed enough to make her cringe into many regrets with some extra kick 'not even her father gave a damn about her any more' - she got what she gave/invested. I'm sure dad enjoyed his ex-son-in-laws kids!

/

The key to 750 is each sentence has meaning - so you need to read each word carefully to get the full context of what the writer intends. So many in LW want all the wordy fluff or they pout about being too short. Not this one - the unintended dagger was stabbed then twisted skillfully to one who earned every twist...

/

I wish there should be a "LW 750" genre or better expand to a one page only "LW Page" genre.

/

5*, Hooyah, Salutes...

At that is how you write a 750 word story! It covered everything, missed nothing, and did it with all the words that were needed and nothing extra. Great job!

A good flash story.

I would've done it differently though.

I'd have written his story as his thoughts.

Not explanations to the slut.

Once my ex asked me why I had split up with her replacement.

In these words; "I know it's none of my business,

but why did you and K split?"

I answered, "You're right. It's none of your business".

This flash might have been done a little better,

but even so, it was a fine piece of work.

Top ratings from me.

Great short, everything was

concisely written.

Really nice straight story.

Good effort - mind the spelling though - 5 stars

For a flash story,

This was excellent. I still prefer a full length story, and I could see where this could have been one. You have the talent to turn this (or something like this) into an excellent, enjoyable story. Well done.

I hope you write another.

Perfect!!

No follow up needed.

Nice story, enjoyed it... Sounds like he got the ultimate revenge "a life well lived"!

Why is it that they always say, "I didn't mean to hurt you!" If a spouse is emotionally involved they will be devastated. At least she didn't use the magic words, "I'm Sorry." PS. In addition usually in these stories when the jerk who steals a married woman he losses interest whe the ex-husband is out of the picture.

A tip; One good way to check spelling is to read the printed story with one's forefinger skimming backwards over the text.

Liked it but the cute ending didn't work for me, especially after the dialog:

""How is life in the city, still got everything you wanted."

It was Lizzy's turn to sigh, "Yes I have the life I chased, money, city centre apartment, costal cottage.""

She definitely had the opportunity to: "sharing the news that her and Charles had spit a year earlier." So that line didn't make sense to me. But I get the buyers remose.

Like the story. AAAA+++

A better BURN would have had the girls holding hands with their little brother as they run up to daddy and the lil guy wanting uppee. Daddy snuggle and kiss them all as the girls ask daddy who was this woman? "Just an OLD friend." The girls telling daddy that mommy sent them to get daddy - as mommy looks from afar and waves at them all. Lizzy asks, "is that Abigail?" Yes, your bridesmaid - she was my life saver. Our kids kept your dad agile and chipper to the end.

\

5* could have been 6* with a lil more BURN; Hooyah, Salutes.

Sorry, not enough story for me. 3 stars

A wonderful ending.

Grammar very very good

The flow of the story excellent

The premise of the story is very good

BTB/RAAC ending Appropriate, living life well, remarried, no looking back. SHE is divorced

It kept my interest Excellent

Overall 4.4

I know it's hard to tell a story with 750 words. This isn't one of your better ones. Thank You for writing it.

Great Story, enjoyed the read. Enjoyed the payback as a live well lived. Thanks for your writing.

Stupid cow.

Gets what she deserves.

Touché!

Good job

The plot concept is OK, but the nitpicking revenge in the dialogue was too unsubtle for me. It felt as if it had been written in a hurry. 3 stars.

Serves her right!!

LOL, her life is in the dumps

I disagree with the commenters below. It was short, poignant and direct. While she starts off saying she got what she wanted, she clearly didn't. She didn't even know anything about her father before he passed away. Very self-centered. And I like that she didn't even get the opportunity to tell her ex that she split with the rich asshole a year ago. Honestly the ex could care less.

One of the better 750 word stories. In fact, the top ten!

Enjoyed reading this one again

Her loss. As if money could really buy love... 5*

Short & sweet

Very well done. I gave you a handful of stars for this short gem.

Apparently just a writer dumping words. No point to the story, no personality to the characters.

Best revenge is leaving well. 5 stars.

Short and to the point , money’s not everything. I really liked it, well done.

You can use punctuation and it'll still be 750 words, you know?

What is it with women? They leave a path of destruction, crash and burn. Then want to come back.

@last anonymous - it's fiction.

Excellent

LOL, excellent

Good story, well told. ***** from me...

Want to have one wife for 50 yrs (and going strong)? Talk ever day. Plan things. Ask your wife wants she wants. Do things for her before she asks. The man is charge. The wife pretends it's alway his way. Let him belive he's in charge. Still, we know she is.

Super. 5 stars 👍👌☺🎆

Very good use of a short word count . . . the basic story is quite clear. The parts left to the imagination are fairly well-directed. I'm not sure why she and Charles 'spit' (at something, I guess). I'm hoping that was supposed to be 'split', and her regret can almost be felt, though it's not really mentioned. Nice job!!

Understated but brutal burn.

That's one thing about burned bridges. You can't recross.

So focused on trying to submit a 750 word story that you failed to tell this story

Anon from 3 days ago is a jackass. This is a great 750 word story.

This as the makings of a good story,if expanded.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Bravo! For 750 words, you deliveres a clear plot, satisfying ending. You did good.

Excellent! Thank You!

Who cares about the cunt and Charles

The story would be nice if he didn't have to settle for a single mother. I wonder why that's being shoved down our throats even if nobody is asking for it.

Good job for such a short story. I'd love to see a longer more developed version of this. Thanks for submitting.

Excellent.