All Comments on 'The Game'

You were doing ok and the story was going well. Indeed it was a little off the beaten track. Unfortunately the ending was poor (and that’s being nice about it) and seemed as if you’d suddenly decided you didn’t want to write any more.

If you had left it a cliffhanger and the last line being “it was different with Kyle” it would have set you up for another instalment. Or you could have finished it there as a stand alone story. It still wouldn’t have been a good ending but better than the present one.

This is your 2nd story in successive days. I think you might like to see what feedback you get before submitting your next one. I hope you will regard my criticism as constructive because it is intended to be. Ignore those who don’t give you constructive criticism.