All Comments on 'The Garbage Man'

Glad you’re back. Thanks for the story. I enjoyed it.

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I have this quote framed on my studio wall:

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“Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.” - Brendan Behan

There ain't no free rides.....

Drivel

That was a fantastic read. Now don’t you dare stop writing these fantastic stories yes some people will say she should have been thrown to the side. But hey I didn’t care she really did it only once she regretted it etc . But the ones that justify that it was just sex or continue it because it excites them should be heavily burned. That’s why I liked your story she had to be heavily drunk to sleep with someone else so you were wise with your story. So get up off that couch and get writing I want more stories from you like this . And remember ignore the haters it’s just words to get a response and you read them didn’t you . And took them to heart what are you like ! . Just read this I want you to get up get writing these great stories again ok. I want at least one from you every day lol . Only joking nice to have one once a week or two lol . Not a month apart lol 😂. Now get writing I expect another one from you tomorrow lol .

It could have been a 5* but ended to 1*.

.Anyone quoting Brendan Behan is good with me, my personal favourite: “I only drink on two occasions—when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.”

The story, yeah enjoyed the read overall, the ending might have been better but thank you.

Like a list of things to do in paragraph form.

Awfult.

OT1, the concept was fine, it just read like you were running a marathon and breathing hard the whole way.

Story was good, writing, not so much. Very rushed with bad grammar and spelling. Slow down, take your time so we can enjoy your stories.

I don’t accept the drunk excuse. She had been told never to see the guy again and leaves a note saying she’s off for a romantic weekend with him. This truly was a RAAC.

hank You ! Glad you’re back.

Good premise, but your punctuation is awful. The story didn't flow. 2* only because of the punctuation

Narrative flow needs a lot of work and key plot points transitioned from one to the other without the depth needed to truly impact the reader. 3*

surprised he kept her.

Kinda torn here. You resisted the call of the BTB mouth breathers, and that’s to your credit, but man, you really do need to polish those writing skills.

I like the theme of the story. The tenor of the writing was a bit to strack . Every sentence was like” Nit one pearl two”. Maybe next story you could loosen it up a bit, The idea of a guy taking the control from a bully, jerk was well played.

Just OK. But very glad you are contributing again!

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3 ***

I did not rate the story because my rating would drag it down but want to say DO NOT STOP WRITING! We all have the option to skip a story. I would recommend a RAAC tag going forward.

I never understood why a man that is cheated on will kill the guy that screwed his wife but let the cheating slut live. She is the one that broke their marriage vows not the other man.

There was no reason to reconcile and definitely no reason to ever tell her about the money he stole in army.

Started good but quickly deteriorated. Making it an RAAC was a bad idea. Writing was very stilted like you were a private eye writing in a notebook. Sorry

Story was good, writing was Ok at best. Thanks for writing, better than I could do! Keep writing 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Grammar needs work. This sentence > “ These were normal percussions everyone used that ran games”; word should have been ‘precautions’.

So he tells her he's loaded after she cheats...

A decent premise, but poorly presented. The writing was rough and would have benefited greatly from an editor. The lack of emotion also hurt the story. I'm not opposed to a good reconciliation, but there really wasn't any effort or emotion put into it.

I guess maybe the best explanation is that this was more of a Cliff's note recap of the story rather than the story.

Enjoyed the story, a bit rushed and the main 'Players', have no or little background. But I still found it entertaining.

First time i started reading one of your stories, couldnt get past half way down the first page, so bably written, give up

I can see why readers asked you to stop, makes sense now.

Okay but I'm thinking one and done is the right thing to do. Even a drunken mistake could have fatal consequences for you.

Idea was great, but there was little or emotion shown.

"I never wanted anyone but you." - bullshit, or she never would have ignored her husband and gone with Joe and gotten drunk. I liked the storyline but you needed more work to sell the RAAC. You need to better explain her downfall with drugs or something, and also a more compelling reason why she left in the first place. Maybe not to NYC but just a place in town where she could have come home and confessed, or been taken to the hospital for drug OD or something....

Childish

You do have an adequate imagination. I enjoy total revenge stories so another plus for you. That said, your writing skills need fleshing out. This could have been at least a 4, maybe even a 4.5* story. An additional 12-1500 words would have presented a smoother story. Don't stop writing, just try to write a bit more detail into the story.

She was warned and deserved a divorce instead. U should've worked on ur details because might as well say they lived happily ever after after the cabin

Amateurish prose.

RAAC was fine. Buy she disrespected him a few times and the result was cheating with a psycho. Not cool and not okay. She was never held accountable. A smart man may forgive her, bank on the guilt keeping her faithful. And then cheating a few times to even the score. With ot without her knowing nor permission. Because why not? She clearly does t respect him nor her vows. She didn't even offer to attone. Even the offer is worth something. Declarations of love, pro.ises of fidelity, and rating her lover badly aren't worth a lot.

Amateurish. Two stars. No depth or breadth. I was edging toward three stars, but it just wasn't there.

JPB

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I like your style; if I had any criticism, it is with your use of quotation marks and the words they contain. I went back and read one of your earlier stories, "The Prenuptial," to make sure my initial response was not a fluke, and confirmed my original opinion. I like your characters and the conclusions of your stories, so much so that I downloaded all of them to a special file where I can enjoy them at my leisure. Ignore your earlier critics and keep on writing. They don't recognize a gem when they see one.

Totally amature style of writing. Not even good enough for a first timer.

Less than 1 star.

Go back to playing Pokemon.

Poorly written

Never any real development of George or their relationship. Killing Joe's henchmen was over the top as an intro but killing the dog as a means of making Mary Lou suffer was abhorrent. Finding terrorist money in a combat zone is possible but getting it back to the States is damn near impossible since military inspection of returning personnel and anything they send back makes TSA look like a bunch of armatures. Better luck getting an ingot our of Ft Knox Bullion Depository.

quit reading when you killed the dog

Maybe a little far fetched, but I enjoyed it.

"His death would have to appear accidental or his replacement would try to hunt me down." - The replacement would probably shake his hand for opening up the position!

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If Joe could "talk" to her husband, why not do it BEFORE the trip? Maybe because he knew it wouldn't fly?

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"percussions?" - Precautions.

Lame and contrived. Thanks for killing the asshole. Puzzled why he kept the whore. She regretted the lousy sex only. If the sex had been good and the asshole had treated her well she would have left the dumb cuck husband and traded up. He got what he married so he got what he deserved. Weak and disappointed. Better luck with future work.

The concept is good, as is the story line. But I think you are a better writer than you exhibited in this story.

She went with Joe and had sex with him. And he take her back?! No f__ing way!

Write what you want to write. Don't let any of us stop you.

Two stars.

He warned her, she jumped into it, then created great risk for hubby when he dumped her. How the hell did she think a guy like Joe was going to fix what she fucked up so badly?

Joe was just buying pussy he wanted and her husband didn't want his wife selling pussy. She was and is stupid. That exact same woman that went to NYC with Joe in the 1st place.

Hubby on the other hand, was really stupid. Only a really stupid man would take back a woman who makes the decisions she made. "I will never accept any excuse if you even kiss anyone else. I will leave you." Yeah, a very stern warning with clear consequences worked so well the 1st time.

On top of that, he has got a shit load of money and a lay low crummy job. Dude could live anywhere in the world. Fine a smarter and better woman, live any lifestyle he chooses.

I certainly get there are guys really like hubby in terms of another one more chance, as well as women that stupid or worse. Nevertheless, this story is very hard to like.

Okay! You should get an editor.

4

Story was OK. Thanks for your writing.

Average as she was warned and went ahead and still he took her back.

Looks more like a C grade movie script about revenge on a mafia boss for fucking someone's wife.

Grade school style writing, very choppy, no character development. 2* is being kind.

'See George run'. See Mary Lou have an affair.' 'See George cuck out and take Mary Lou back'

The end.

Thanks for sharing your imagination and being brave enough to put yourself out there. Critics are usually small minded people who try to elevate themselves by judging others. If they were truly worthy they would be expressing positive reenforcement and suggestions as opposed to condemnation.

You have interesting ideas. The presentation continues to fail and not improve. I'm sorry. 1*

Keep at it!!