The Gift

Intellectually I understand that masturbation is a natural, healthy part of life that may actually be good for me. However, on an emotional level, I can't help but feel that I should be ashamed about my masturbating and I often feel guilty after I do it. Ironically, that's why I love masturbating for my wife. She provides a safe space where I can openly play with myself and revel in the forbidden nature of what I am doing.

When I get the urge to take advantage of this space, I ask my wife if she is willing give me a wonderful gift. She smiles and we both know exactly what I'm asking. It's blatantly selfish, but such sessions are all about me. I often ask for this gift when she wakes up in the morning (usually after having thought about it all night) and I'm already naked lying next to her. If she sleeps late, I may get up and have a cup of coffee while I wait impatiently to ask her. If she says "yes", I take off my clothes and get under the covers next to her. Sometimes I leave my underpants on so she can them off for me. We snuggle for a while as I eagerly await what is about to take place.

When the time is right, she pulls down the covers, exposing my chest and flat stomach, and caresses me gently with her fingertips. She takes her time as her fingers inch their way downward. They feel sooooooooooo nice, and the anticipation is electric. Soon she pulls the covers down further to reveal my penis. She doesn't touch it, but teases the inside of my thighs with the same gentle touch. Her fingers move in expanding circles closer and closer to the sides of my scrotum before briefly making contact with the sensitive skin. I squirm with excitement.

About this time I kick off the rest of the covers, bend my knees, place my feet flat on the bed and spread my legs -- exposing myself to her. My penis is getting hard, but she still doesn't touch it. Instead, she uses those magic fingertips to just barely touch the hairs on my scrotum -- teasing me mercilessly. I love having my balls caressed and she knows exactly what drives me wild. She takes her time before gradually making more direct (but still very gentle) contact with my aching testes. She continues fondling them before expanding her reach to include the area just above my asshole. Her fingers start there and move upwards over my sack, cupping it gently, until she reaches the underside of the base of my penis. She stops there before repeating the process. I open my legs wider and hug my knees closer to my chest; giving her more direct access to my penis and anus. I bask in intense feelings of submission and vulnerability.

Finally, her caresses begin to include the base of my penis, but their main focus continues to be my testes and the area between my anus and the underside of my scrotum. Occasionally she reverts back to my chest, stomach or inner thighs to prolong my anticipation. By this time my penis is fully erect (something that takes longer now that I'm in my early 70s) and I relish showing it to her. She responds by teasing its tip with her fingers ever so briefly; baiting me to do the same.

Before long, I can no longer resist, and I begin stroking myself with my right hand as she fondles my testicles. My stroking intensifies as she continues working her magic on my scrotum and perineum. Sometimes she reaches behind my leg with one of her hands and massages the area from both my front and back. The feeling of my penis, scrotum and anus all being stimulated at the same time is indescribable. I embrace the shamefulness of what I'm doing by thinking, "What are you doing? You're a grown man openly pumping away at your cock like a horney adolescent". I let the self-degradation wash over me as me as my wife watches. I know I'll feel regret and embarrassment later, but for right now I don't care. I simply let myself go -- wallowing in the guilt and shame of my self-abasement. I abandon my penis for a moment and join her in caressing my testicles. Somehow this adds to my humiliation.

I move back to my penis as my orgasm builds. I want this feeling to last forever, but then my wife touches the very center of my asshole and I lose the ability to restrain myself. I focus on the incredible sensations building in my body. The intense feelings of shame, vulnerability, trust, pride and intimacy that I've been experiencing coalesce into a profound moment of pure release, and I join my wife in watching the semen squirt out of my penis and onto my chest. I've just demonstrated the most intimate thing a man can share with a woman. And for a brief time, all is right with the world.