All Comments on 'The Gift of Venus'

Started out decent, it quickly turned into the typical super slut vs alpha male story.

So hot. Yes please to continuing the story. Excellent first story, my only critique would be the random italics throughout this book but that seems an easy issue to avoid in the future. Well done five stars.

great story, and definitely needs sequel(s)...just keep regular type though instead of italics :)

Sequels a must please

Really liked it. I agree about the excessive use of italics. Seems like a good start for a series for sure. I look forward to the next installment.

Awesome story! Something seemed to break with the italics, a lot was fine after refreshing the page.

Suggestions for future stories: milfs, impregnation, making sure no virgins are left in town. Maybe start a temple of venus? And of course he needs to eat the pussy of his goddess.

A hot story, pity, we missed out on other side characters fucking, looking forward to Simon's adventures with Gemma and Sophie

Agreed it was hot! I want more of this! The talk about the way Simon felt was pretty compelling and I liked it. The power dynamics only went one way, which is a hot way in its place, but I don’t know that actual Venus wants all sex to go like that? Maybe simon should get with Gemma and she makes him her fucktoy

Great story, but don't go too fast into the total sexgod having a 20some storyline. Rather concentrate on how the only one day ago virgin stumbles nervously into new flirts which end in sex even if he is super nervous.

Great Start to your journey into writing. Keep up the good work. I hope you have more sequels in store for us. A possible narrative of him starting a harem would be awesome to see. Good Luck in your future endeavors in writing.

Wonderful debut, hope you share more!

Thanks for the comments guys :) The italics issue is a formatting bug that I am sorting as quick as I can!

Interesting premise.

But ALL sex much too abrupt. Much too automatic.

Gave up middle of page 2.

Three stars.

Good story! I have some requests to you about next stories. Should I write it down here?

Am not a big fan of the humiliation of women. Given the gift of Venus to him had hoped that he would be more respectful of those the gift was shared with.

Well done, I enjoyed it enormously and look forward to sequels as well as other fantasies from your imagination.

It was pretty well-written, and the sex was described quite steamily!

Hello again! I can now give you some requests and suggestions to you for the next sequels / stories. The first one is when Simon meet a new girl (you decide the name of the new character) at the college who are a good friend to Gemma, Tilly, Lisa and Sophie and she just always horny all the time. She has not so big tits like the other girl's but her ass is big, not fat or anything but just really big and nice shape (like buttle butt). And she had sex with a lot of guys, she loves to fuck guys, even multiple guys at a time at party's and at bars. She is even getting involved at the party at Gemma's house too. And the girl are trying to give Gemma, Sophie, Tilly and Lisa some piece of advice about one day doing their first bangouts, anal, swallowing, blow-bang, creampie and even DP action! I'm going to write more requests / suggestions later in next comments. Use your fantasies from your imagination because you are the writer.

Hello! I can now give you next request and suggestion to you for the next sequels / stories. Here is the second one now: At the college where Simon are there is a pair of big-titty milfs who working as a gym teacher and a nurse, and somehow getting involved to the like pool party at the Gemma's house. They are bisexual and have slept with many boys and girls at the college. As I said before, use your fantasies from your imagination because you are the writer. I'm going to write more requests in next comments here.

Hello again! I can give you one more request / suggestion (the third for now) to the next sequel (for me I call it spin-off because of the character Simon are not so much involved in this one). This part are about the girls Sophie, Gemma, Tilly, Lisa and an another girl (you choose the name) with big tits and nice body who are a good friend to them are having a little small pool party at Gemma's house. And they invited like seven guys with BBCs who also going at same college and are members at a basketball team there. And the party turns into a hot BBC orgy, and the girl's mom, a big-titty milf, are even joining the orgy to when she was coming to visit her daughter and her friends to at the house. And Simon are sneaking into the house and witness the big orgy outside from the window at the living room.

Definitely keep this story rolling, go where your gut tells you with the plot. Excellent start.

Hello again, I can give you one more request / suggestion for next story / sequel / spin-off etc. This one is without Simon involved and this time the girls (Gemma, Sophie, Tilly, Lisa and a bunch of other girls) having an some sort of only girl private party and they planning one college orgy at Gemma's house and they decide to use butt plugs in like one week all the time before the party for to "exercise" to take big ones in the ass. And the girls are having a big lesbian group sex together.

Good story, especially for your first one! Interesting premise, decent dialogue and a lot of detail in the sex scenes. Well done!

Hello again, are U writing the next chaptet now? I can give U one more suggestion to next chapter, if that's ok with U. This one is about Simon, Gemma and Sophie and one guy (U choose character's name) with BBC and he's going at same college as Simon and the other's. They are going to a nightclub for having fun, dancing etc. And they meet the guy's three other friends there too (and they have BBC's too) and all of them decide to have afterparty at Gemma's house, and they playing like strip poker and then turn's into a group orgy.

Well done, especially for a first submission (just like Sophie). PM me if you're interested in having a proofreader/editor for the next chapters, and thank you for sharing! The dialogue was good, and action was easy to follow, even though that can be difficult with more than two people involved. Looking forward to future chapters!

Exceptional story. I enjoyed reading it. Very interesting plot. Looked forward to each additional chapter. 5 stars.

Excellent story Raven, not sure about the italicised text but well written, hot and engaging. Keep going!

Great read!

Really liked this!

Well written with a fun idea for a plot.

This was an excellent first story, well done!

I am new here and only discovered this after your anal twins story. Every scene is so well crafted, so vivid, and kept me aroused reading the whole time. Great job.