All Comments on 'The Golden Ring'

Was a good story until you put in the gay crap ! Also, learn english grammer or get a proofreader,

Mouths are mouths and butts are butts and they're all so good a sexy straight boy!

This story started out strong with a really great concept. I can't help but feel that the author should have maintained an erotic balance to be more bi than gay. There's nothing wrong with gay but this story could have been so much cooler if it were balanced and bi.

Mike's just part of the story.

I didn't make it past the first page. Normally I would have just moved on to a different story, but I'm working on helping other writers improve their craft, so I tried to make it through the whole thing so I could critique the actual story, but unfortunately the grammar mistakes were so bad I couldn't make it past the first page. That being said, first thing's first. Commas. Learn to use them please. It started off sounding like you were listing things off, jumping from one concept to another with no break between them, no commas separating your ideas, not much time devoted to those ideas, and then you just kept on rolling. That being said, I've certainly read worse. Also, I know people do it, but for the love of God don't start sentences with and or but. Those are qualifier words. Words that are used to further explain a concept started at the beginning of a sentence. If you're using them to start a sentence, you're using them wrong. Now I know people do use them to start a sentence, but to do that, and make it work, you need to know the rules first. You can't break the rules unless you know them. All in all, an interesting concept, just iron out those issues and I think you'll be fine. Keep it up.

But it doesn't matter since I'm really sure your like the same incel dude that's just offended at gay scenes.

Or ashamed as you got too hot over it for your liking.

Gay can fit in any tag sweet loves.

I have graded 5th grade creative writing compositions that were better written. I realize English might not be your first language, but this is just so terribly written, with so many grammar errors and repetitions, that it's just plain unreadable. It really feels like you just vomited onto the pages and never even bothered reading over what you wrote yourself, let alone considered having a proof-reader give it a once over. 0/10

So first of all- ANY GAY STUFF AT ALL- it's no longer mind control, IT IS GAY. Label it as such.

Secondly, did you even read this garbage before you posted it? How did you manage to put like 45 words in 1 sentence?!?!?!

Your next story should be titled, "How I learned to spell and use sentence structure."

And I'm laughing and laughing and laughing!!!

Actually, the anons are not the same. The site is set up to prevent multiple anon posts from the same isp. Try it yourself; you can't post an anon comment twice. This may not jibe with your assumption that this many people can't possibly dislike the story, but that's the facts.

As to your story, I can't just go all batspit crazy like some, and arbitrarily dis your story. Yeah, it should have probably been in the gay section. Not all, but most, readers here would like to know what they're getting into. It would be helpful if Lit allowed you to post in multiple categories like other sites. Then if someone saw straight, gay, bi, and mc, they would know the topics and decide if they wanted that story or not. I guess Lit doesn't feel its readers should be that well informed.

Now as to the gay scenes themselves, no, I was not interested. Again, had I known, I just would not have read it. But instead of bitching, I just kept scrolling until I got to straight scenes. It really is that simple, which complainers like some of your anons just can't grasp. Either skip the gay scenes, or even the entire story. By the way, since you have the gay scenes, I hope you have girl on girl to come. Yeah, I know I may be chauvanistic, but while M/M does absolutely zero for me, F/F really gets me going.

Lastly, there legit concerns about the actual writing. Commas are your friend. Embrace them. Run on are not. Avoid the. And and But should not start sentences. Even if you are using slang or local vernacular, the writing really was pretty bad. I've seen much worse here, don't get me wrong; but you certainly need work. An editor would help a lot.

So briefly, anons can only post once. More than one person disliked the story. It probably should have been in the gay category, or had a disclaimer stating gay sex. Ignore trolls who bitch just to bitch, but listen to those who give a genuine critique. Get an editor. Oh, and maybe join us in hoping Lit just the rest of the erotic world in allowing multiple categories and tags.

Jedd

My comment on them being the same wasn't literal it was a jab at the lot of them.

I will work more on my structure and things.

And I do have some WonW planned.

I don't want to give the same comment as what others have said, but I do agree that there was a lot of grammatical mistakes and it got in the way of the story.

Nonetheless, I would like to provide one positive comment and one criticism:

- The story was hot. I loved the sex and the description.

- The usage of mythology and magic is good but could have made a bigger presence? It seemed like the whole Zeus cock ring wasn't as relevant as it was made out to be. Furthermore, the relationships among characters seemed rush - try expanding the story into a series for better grasp of each character's personality. I personally would like to see the relationship of Mike and James develop more.

These are obviously suggestions, so I'm not trying to impose or demand my thoughts to be taken account seriously.

Miss me with that gay shit.

Seriously you like could've stopped reading.

But oh so offended by hot, hot, deep MLM action.

Fun story and you can improve on the grammar but i most love your responses to the prior comments lol.

Love the idea! Love the sex! Execution was pretty confusing. This is one of those rare stories that starts off like shit but keeps me drawn anyway. Glad the following chapters have better ratings! I’ll have to read on. I’m glad you stick up for yourself.

This was a damn good story. Content was there, and I liked the surprise of the transformation and MLM. People shouldn't be freaked out about that stuff... sheesh.

I get so tired of people bitching about something being gay. You realize it’s just a damn label. You could just as easily call someone a football. Awesome story and the way James is going around and helping people no matter how he does since even those get divine justice are still going to be better off for it.