The Grande Futapest Hotel Ch. 03

TUESDAY

Waking up in a different bedroom every day was not really helping Layla's disillusion at what had occurred over the last few days. Had she really been invited into the home of Selena Grande, the world's most famous porn star, allowed to strut around her house nude, their dicks wagging together like eager puppy tails? Had she really fucked her in her own bed? Had their coitus really been just as two friends-with-benefits and not in the production of porn, no cameraman or craft service table in sight? Had she really fucked her just to fuck her?

Layla was alone again. As deep as her knowledge of porn stars went, never had Layla learned that Selena was such an early riser. Nevertheless, it did seem to match her professional and thoughtful attitude about every part of her life. Layla wanted to check the time, but could not find her phone. She'd been walking around completely naked since about seven o'clock last night. This was probably the longest she'd gone without touching her phone in years.

Layla worked her way to the edge of the bed. She looked down. Her cock was as hard as a bundle of pencils tied with string. It throbbed angrily, with the resentful attitude of someone you'd promised to pick up at the airport and then didn't. She wasn't just hard; her cock was demanding an explanation for the lack of release.

She left the bed and walked into the en suite bathroom. She inched the water from pleasantly warm to the very edge of what could be called 'cold.' She stood with arms apart, letting the cooler water pound against her cock. Never had she ever had to 'calm herself' with a cold shower before. Whacking it every night before bed for a cavalcade of jizz-hungry perverts had that advantage, at least.

Gradually, under the cold and unremitting torrent, Layla's cock softened and shrunk like a boulder eroded by a million years of water tricking against its surface. Of course, her condition was only temporary, until the first time she thought about Selena's huge cock, or that great ass. Dammit, Layla had gotten herself hard again.

As she bathed, watching the suds twirl down the drain... the thought occurred to her of something else white running down the drain. In truth, last night was the closest Layla had ever come to masturbating in the shower. Layla had never once masturbated to ejaculation in a shower. It was not only because she was sure she'd somehow be caught, even when living alone. Much more importantly... there was no porn in the shower.

Her thoughts sufficiently chaste enough to grow soft again, Layla finished her shower. She dried herself off with the towels, scattering her hair wetly against her back, no hair dryer to be found in this bathroom. She dried her hair the old-fashioned way.

She was about to wrap the towel around herself before catching a glance of herself in the mirror. Her thin, lean body, cock hanging from it like a third leg. What was the point of wearing the towel? Selena had seen everything already. Getting dressed would be to pretend she had anything to hide, or that she wasn't entirely comfortable in this house.

Layla left the towel behind. She wouldn't even wrap her hair in it. She would air-dry eventually... unless Selena could not resist her bold new technique, in which case... then they'd both definitely be wet. Layla strutted towards the kitchen, wondering if she could find a box of cereal, or if that wasn't Selena's style.

As she turned the corner, so did someone else, and they stood face-to-face at the same moment.

The black dress with poofy shoulders, the white apron, the lacy headpiece and thigh-high stocking and garter, the curly red-orange hair... it definitely wasn't Selena. It was the maid.

Layla gasped loudly and slapped her hands over her crotch. Evidently, she still had something to hide. But after a whole day of abstinence, her cock would not be denied. It grew stiff very quickly, like a modeling balloon being inflated. It obtained its fully erect size in a few seconds, and Layla's hands proved too small to hide it, the head popping out between her hands like a bird hatching from an egg.

Unsure what else to do, Layla spun in place and faced the wall, mooning the maid. To her left, she saw Selena emerge from the same corner Layla had passed earlier. Like Layla, Selena was completely naked. Unlike her, Selena was flaccid.

"Morning, Layla." Selena said. "What's wrong?" She saw the maid standing there, grinning at Layla. "Oh, yes. This is Merri. She's my maid. I told you she comes Tuesdays. Merri, this is my friend Layla."

"You... eh..." Merri said with difficulty, through a very thick French accent. "You don't need to be... shy. My country... topless beaches... everywhere."

"What are you doing, Merri?" Selena asked.

"Aww, you couldn't play along for one minute?" Merri moaned in a perfect American accent, probably that of a local Californian.

Layla turned around, holding her arms together to try to hide her erection. Her face was still as red as marinara. "I didn't realize you'd be here so early."

"It's ten o'clock." Selena said. "You sleep a lot."

"Sorry, I'm lazy." Layla shrugged.

"I'm not judging. All I said was you sleep a lot. I sleep less, but I also abuse amphetamines and diet pills."

"What?!" Layla shouted. She considered herself a repository of Selena Grande trivia, and that one had escaped her somehow.

"I'm kidding, Layla. Relax."

"Can I just say..." Merri raised a finger, and pointed it at Layla's covered groin. "Are all you futa hung like rhinos? Because damn."

"See, I told you." Selena reassured Layla. "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about."

Taking her advice, Selena moved her hands away from her crotch. Merri stared unabashedly at Layla's pulsing member. Layla resisted covering it again; after all, being seen naked by strangers was her full-time job.

"Nope." Layla said, blushing as hard as ever. "It's still embarrassing."

--

After a quick breakfast consisting of another very nice omelet made by Selena, she asked if Layla wouldn't mind helping Merri with her cleaning duties for the morning. Layla agreed, leaving Selena to whatever business she had. Layla continued to walk around nude, having never been given express permission to get dressed. Most of the embarrassment had left her; her cheeks could only burn bright for so long before she adjusted to this. Her erection remained unfazed.

Merri walked a route through the different bedrooms and bathrooms of the house, picking up wet bath towels and clothing in a hamper under her arm. Some of the clothes went over her opposite shoulder. Layla offered to carry those, and Merri passed them to her, draping them over her the same way, contrasting her nudity like the sling Michaelangelo's David's had over his shoulder.

Of course... hers was bigger. It was probably bigger even considering the seventeen-foot height of the classical masterpiece.

Layla saw four of seven bedrooms that were still actually bedrooms. Two of them they'd slept in before, and two were entirely new to her. They were distinct in that they all had different colored sheets, but they all incorporated the king-sized bed, two nightstands with lamps atop them and remarkably... no television.

When they came to the bedroom where Selena and Layla had 'relations' on their first night... Layla tried to hustle the sheets into a bundle without showing the stain she'd thoughtlessly let sit for a few days. Underneath, there was a stain on the mattress cover, nearly the same size. Merri removed the cover, making no comment on it, but checking to see if the stain had seeped through to the mattress. It didn't seem so.

Now, Layla wondered why Merri wasn't surprised to see come in Selena's bed. Did anyone outside the industry know she didn't orgasm unless she was filming? As far as Layla knew, she never filmed in her own house, either. She surely would have recognized the house if she had.

Once all the laundry was collected, they walked downstairs, past the magic disappearing television and into a laundry room about half the size of Layla's entire apartment. There was a large stainless steel washer and dryer at the back wall, a table for folding and racks for hanging or drying articles.

"I used to fantasize about rummaging through Selena Grande's laundry..." Layla said, separating a few garments. "But... there are no panties, so... what's the point?"

"I'm surprised Selena's letting you go through those anyway." Merri noted. "Most people are embarrassed to have anyone going through their laundry."

"Most of us porn stars have a deeply reduced capacity for embarrassment."

"What about you?" Merri asked. "You were pretty embarrassed this morning."

Layla's cheeks grew a little red, though not as bright as before. "That's different. I wasn't expecting you. And when I say I'm a porn star... I'm more of a camgirl. It combines the lack of shame of the porn star with... doing all the depraved stuff in the privacy in your home."

"It means not really ever being naked with someone else actually in the same room as you." Merri said.

Layla pulled something out of the laundry pile that she recognized, but was nevertheless surprised. It was a strapless bra. "I thought Selena didn't wear bras."

"I'm sure she only wears them when it's necessary." Merri inspected it. "I think that bra goes with a strapless dress. That one." She pointed to a black dress in a dry-cleaning bag. "Actually, that shouldn't be in there. It'll get musty." Merri ripped the bag off the hangar without disturbing the dress underneath. For Layla, it was like watching someone pull a tablecloth out from under the dishes while everyone was still eating.

Merri crumpled the bag up and threw it in a nearby bin. "So... do you work for Selena, or are you just friends?"

Describing their relationship as 'just friends' after Layla had come so enthusiastically in Selena's pussy...that somehow felt incorrect. Then again, saying she 'worked' for her, when Selena hadn't given anything to her but generosity and pizza... that didn't seem right, either. Moreso, Layla was still strutting around naked as if that was her work uniform, designed to match Selena's.

"I think we're trying stuff out, seeing if I can be a help to her." Layla said, dropping a few more things in the washer. "And she's helping me... learn to control myself better."

"What, you mean like anger issues?"

"No, I... I sometimes come too fast. I'm working on holding back."

"Oh." said Merri softly. After a small pause, she asked, "So if I asked you if you wanted to mess around, you'd say no?"

If Layla had started to soften a bit with the growing comfort in her nudity, this set her right back to full-mast. She looked down into the washing machine as if it were a wishing well. "That sort of comment could be easily misconstrued."

"I'm asking if you'd like to have casual sex on this dryer." Merri smiled, still looking at Layla's cock with the deep fascination as if it kept changing or otherwise was different from the first time she saw it.

"Until I met Selena, I didn't think of myself as a sex-on-first-date kind of girl, much less sex-at-first-sight, but..." Layla loaded the washer with more cotton t-shirts and socks. "I can't anyway. Selena's showing me how not to come so easily, so I really can't."

"So you don't actually work for her?" Merri asked.

"It's a new thing. I'm helping her out with stuff, and she's training me to be more disciplined. She's not paying me, if that's what you're asking."

"So you're just another unpaid intern?"

That phrase struck Layla as unusual. "What do you mean 'another?'"

Merri was disarmed. "I mean... there are lots of unpaid internships around Cali. I didn't mean that Selena has had an intern before. I've never seen her take in any other futa chick in and training them, if that's what you thought. I've worked for her for a few years, and I've never seen another futa over here. Or at least... I never knew they were, because they weren't strutting around with their big erection out."

A short pause. "Is 'Merri' short for something?" Layla asked.

"Meredith, but I really hate that name, so everyone calls me Merri."

"And you're a maid... like-"

Merri cut her off. "Like Maid Marian from Robin Hood. Yeah, I've heard it before."

A pause. "I was going to say Merry Maids, the... franchise of maid services."

Merri chuckled. "You ever read Robin Hood?"

Layla shook her head. "How much of this should I put in?"

Merri took the bottle of detergent from Layla. "Not even the Disney version?"

"That was like a million years ago."

"So? I still saw it on DVD as a kid. I'm not that much older than you." Merri turned on the water. "I admit, I identified with Maid Marian from the Disney version when I was a kid. I started to think of my crazy red hair as my fox fur."

Merri turned the dials on the washing machine at the same time. She turned to face Layla and hiked up her skirt with her right hand. "Selena's not the only one who doesn't wear underwear." She said.

Unlike almost every other mons pubis in California, hers was decorated with a thick topiary of red pubic hair, almost perfectly triangular. It stopped just before the opening of her slit. Merri was evidently waxed on every surface facing down, but the forward-facing patch of hair was perfectly shaped and combed like the hair covering the forehead of a male news anchor.

"What do you think?" Merri asked.

Layla had very little exposure to pubic hair, having never grown any herself. Evidently, futanari don't grow hair anywhere below the neck. That was surely what gave Selena enough free time to run her business as a one-futa operation. So far, Layla just used the free time to masturbate.

Layla stared at the triangle of lush red fur. "I love Doritos."

Merri burst out laughing. She stepped closer and moved in for a kiss.

And Layla dodged it.

Merri looked at her suspiciously. "What? What's wrong?"

"We just met."

"How long was it before you kissed Selena?"

Layla flushed deeply. She and Selena had jumped first base to 'home run' in a matter of seconds, an act that was probably less likely to happen in real life than it was on the baseball diamond. "It was a few hours after we met."

Merri kept eyeing her sideways, then gasped gently with a realization.

"What?" Asked Layla, parroting what Merri had said before.

"Nothing." Merri insisted. "None of my business."

They left the laundry room, looking as if Layla had run completely herself out of clothing and Merri had been left to wear her Halloween costume.

"So what was up with that French accent?"

"Oh." Merri shrugged. "You know... failed actress and all. I need to use my skills somewhere."

"You wanted to be an actress?"

"I guess I still do, but I had to make money somehow. I definitely make more money doing this, so..." Merri shrugged. "I guess I gave up on that dream."

"You can't give up so early. You're not even thirty." Layla said. "I mean, I think I lucked out that... I seem to be living my dream at nineteen."

"Don't get me wrong." Merri said. "I own my own business and I'm doing pretty well. If I have to stick with this, I can do it. Maybe I'll go back to trying to break into acting if I have a nest egg and I get sick of scrubbing toilets. But then... I'll be an actress approaching thirty trying to get her start, so... that boat may have sailed."

They went up the stairs. "Well..." Layla put her hand on their chin. "There's always MILF porn."

Merri blew a raspberry. "Have you seen much MILF lesbian porn? They're all younger than me. It's bullshit."

--

Layla spent a peaceful hour watching videos while resting on the couch. How millennial of her to be watching stuff on her phone while there was a humongous television to one side. After all, TVs were only as big as how close you sat to them.

Selena told her the WiFi password, so she could watch Youtube to her heart's content without using up data. Eventually, she stopped watching Youtube celebrities playing bad video games, a variety of video she enjoyed despite never playing video games herself. She found herself growing bored of watching a bunch of similar looking men talk about the E.T. game for the Atari.

Layla was always a little paranoid about watching videos on her data, as she wondered if anyone at her phone company could know what she was watching. She didn't dare ever watch anything remotely sexy at work or out in public; her cock had a hair trigger that would quickly take it from "soft and concealable" to "I am smuggling a can of Pringles in my yoga pants."

But here... she wasn't even wearing pants.

So Layla started to flip around adult video sites and look for something to stimulate her. She had her favorite websites of such videos, but... some of them she only knew by typing two letters into her web address bar and having the computer remember the rest. How great it was to not have to worry about clearing the history anymore! Of course, her phone didn't have any of these websites listed, so she typed in one that she remembered.

Sometimes, she would sit, wondering what kind of porn she should watch until her boner faded away, the way other people can't choose something to watch on Netflix. She used to start with lesbian videos, but even bleach blonde lesbians with inflated breasts eventually became tedious. She loved squirting videos, but she was just so tired of reading people argue in the comments about whether it was real or whether it was piss... she just started watching videos where the women were definitely pissing.

Of course, she could squirt quite a bit when she was in the mood, which was most of the time. Nobody could argue whether that was real, or what the white stuff really was.

She occasionally watched videos of women walking around naked in very similar looking cities. She pictured a city in Germany where all the local businessmen knew to expect a commotion around 2PM on Tuesdays when the people from that website would film nearby.

Then again, wouldn't it be grand to walk around nude as a futa, her mighty dick hanging and flopping about, but not for long as the feeling of all those jealous eyeballs falling on her got her harder than the cobblestones this old European street evidently still had.

Sometimes, she watched JOI videos, or jerk-off instructions. Of course, she needed no instructions to know how to do that. Watching women act so dominant, usually wearing a strapon or holding a dildo to their crotch, secretly wishing they had what Layla had, and yet not knowing quite how to wield it...

Fuck, what video was this? She tapped it and the video started of a closeup of a humongous penis being jacked off by soft, delicate hands with long white nails. Layla turned onto her back and held her phone above her face, jerking herself off with her other hand.

One thing Layla got good at was checking for painted or manicured nails or other telltale signs to make sure it wasn't a guy's penis. Layla didn't have anything against men or their penises, but cutting to the man's O-face was an immediate turn-off where the term 'screeching halt' wasn't sufficient. If the nails weren't a giveaway, one could make an educated guess on who owned the penis based on ab definition or the presence of hideous tattoos. The size was less of an indicator than one might think, but this specimen was definitely a size only seen connected to her fellow futa.

The video cut suddenly to the actress' face... and it was Selena.

And Layla dropped her phone in shock, smacking herself in the nose.

She looked around. Nobody had seen that. It really felt for a moment like Selena had just surprised her by walking in and catching her masturbating. Startling as it might have been in the moment, it was the dropping her phone in her face that was causing all the embarrassment.